The Savages have invaded and must be repelled

Giles Humbert III · Post by **Giles Humbert III** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 5:52 pm

Good Christ! I go on assignment for two weeks and return to find the board (and my sterling reputation) under assualt by actual mongoloids full of boasts and bad taste. I am hoping thery are merely teenagers (possibly raised by wolves) still forming their psyche, still learing how to properly drink, to behave in a pub, and form comprehensible sentences for that matter.

This was intended to be a forum where drunkards behaved as men and women above the average cut, where intellectual discussions about getting legless could be bantered about with a certain amount of elan and experience. And I feel it my duty to return it to its former grace and glory.

So forgive me if I start cutting some throats.

Giles
"There comes a time in a man's life when he must spit in his hands, hoist the black flag, and start slitting throats." HL Mencken

Palinka (RIP) · Post by **Palinka (RIP)** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 5:59 pm

Dear god, Giles. Please do.

Tumbleweeds · Post by **Tumbleweeds** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 6:00 pm

Dear My Humperdink... I demand you give an apology to my twin bro Vodka man his whole life is in a tizzy since you banned him....I submit to you sir, that you need a good stiff drink....are you not a modern day drunkard,,,can you not deal with modern day drunks such as Vodkaman?
I must now go visit vodkaman who is in a Ottawa Insane asylum...thanks a lot.com

I thought it was a Costume Ball?

UnkleLemmy · Post by **UnkleLemmy** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 6:01 pm

We must apologise sir. You left the forum in our hands and we failed you. We'll try much harder from now on. Maybe we could have some sort of true Drunkard test people have to take before they can register.

PS-Love the Mencken quote. I've used that as a sig on many a board.

Giles Humbert III · Post by **Giles Humbert III** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 6:15 pm

Dear My Humperdink... I demand you give an apology to my twin bro Vodka man his whole life is in a tizzy since you banned him....I submit to you sir, that you need a good stiff drink....are you not a modern day drunkard,,,can you not deal with modern day drunks such as Vodkaman?
I must now go visit vodkaman who is in a Ottawa Insane asylum...thanks a lot.com

An apology? To Vodkaman? How about a thrashing instead? I can deal with cads like Vodkaman. Much as I can withstand a cretin screeching obscenities in my ear at the pub. But the real question is, why the devil would I want to? What does that cretin add to the pleasure of the drunks around him? Why must they tolerate him? When a amateur drinker begins behaving as a child and disturbing the ladies at the pubs where I call home, we toss him into the street.

I propose a Modern Drunkard (as opposed to the Archaic Drunkard who you're assuming had to put up with the likes of you) is not the sort to cower before an onslaught of boorish behavor. A Modern Drunkard. rather. takes direct action. And the pub (and this forum) will be a far better, smarter and happier place for it.

McSorely's Tavern in NYC, America's oldest, has a sign on their wall that speaks volumes: Be Good or Be Gone.

Giles

Palinka (RIP) · Post by **Palinka (RIP)** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 6:24 pm

Giles Humbert III wrote:McSorely's Tavern in NYC, America's oldest, has a sign on their wall that speaks volumes: Be Good or Be Gone.

Giles

Amen, sir. Let us make that our watchword...Please.

Giles Humbert III · Post by **Giles Humbert III** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 6:44 pm

Agreed, sir!

And none to worry, Palinka. The knaves will soon be on the run. As long as gentlemen drunkards of our stripe possess the keen will to unite against the vast hordes of self-agrandizing half-drunks and jabbering mongoloids, distillation will continue to mean civilization, as Bill Faulkner so shrewdly pointed out.

Giles

Palinka (RIP) · Post by **Palinka (RIP)** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 6:56 pm

Giles Humbert III wrote:Agreed, sir!

And none to worry, Palinka. The knaves will soon be on the run. As long as gentlemen drunkards of our stripe possess the keen will to unite against the vast hordes of self-agrandizing half-drunks and jabbering mongoloids, distillation will continue to mean civilization, as Bill Faulkner so shrewdly pointed out.

Giles

Sir, you fill me me with hope and flatter me. And I thank you for it, sir.
I remain your obedient servant,
Palinka.

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 7:00 pm

Oh thank heavens, GH! For a mad, shocked moment, I thought this headline referred to me! Yes, by all means, repel the uncouth cretins who sully, besmirch and soil our home away from home.

Sully, Besmirch and Soil? Sounds like a law firm.

Palinka (RIP) · Post by **Palinka (RIP)** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 7:09 pm

Savage Swiller wrote:Oh thank heavens, GH! For a mad, shocked moment, I thought this headline referred to me!...

Dear savage swiller, How could you think that we would want to see you gone...
Truth be told, I, for one, would like to see you hang-out here a lot more often. Please post more...

Tumbleweeds · Post by **Tumbleweeds** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 7:40 pm

I must admit..I am a tad Miffed

joesixpack · Post by **joesixpack** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 8:01 pm

Ahh, you can't argue with Mencken. On the other hand, give these unfortunates some decent clothes, after shave, a bath, cut throat and a hip flask and some bar manners.

VodkaHero · Post by **VodkaHero** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 10:30 pm

Just don't look down on the rest of us canadian, vodka swilling folk, we aren't all bad.

massivedrunk · Post by **massivedrunk** » Fri Aug 01, 2003 10:33 pm

its good to see the land lord is back, thanks for checking in.

Palinka (RIP) · Post by **Palinka (RIP)** » Sat Aug 02, 2003 5:55 am

VodkaHero wrote:Just don't look down on the rest of us canadian, vodka swilling folk, we aren't all bad.

The differences are plain. You aspire to be a hero he was (Mmmmmm, past tense) just a man.

The Savages have invaded and must be repelled

The Savages have invaded and must be repelled

The outrages continue

Re: The outrages continue