Unicorns are in the Bible!

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Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by Frankennietzsche » Fri May 24, 2013 10:39 pm

Numbers 23:22 God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.
KJV
22 Deus eduxit illum de Ægypto,
cujus fortitudo similis est rhinocerotis.
Vulgate

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by Shane-O-Matic » Sun May 26, 2013 12:06 am

Unicorns...related to narwhals?

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by ThirstyDrunk » Sun May 26, 2013 1:20 am

I had a dream about a narwal sea cow that had a giant titty on its head and it swam it's nipple right into my mouth
To be fair, I'm drunker than you.

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by Shane-O-Matic » Sun May 26, 2013 4:00 am

Sounds sexy.

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by Zippy » Sun May 26, 2013 1:34 pm

Bible Shmible, stick to booze, it's something you can believe in that you can count on.
It's always a good day to get ripped!

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by mistah willies » Sun May 26, 2013 2:51 pm

^
I believe I'll have another. *hiccup*

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by Frankennietzsche » Sun May 26, 2013 3:52 pm

But, if it's in the Bible, it must be true. Unicorns are strong. Unless, they aren't for true, even if they are in the Bible. But, that would imply that other things in the Bible aren't necessarily true...
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by mistah willies » Sun May 26, 2013 6:18 pm

frankennietzsche wrote:But, if it's in the Bible, it must be true. Unicorns are strong. Unless, they aren't for true, even if they are in the Bible. But, that would imply that other things in the Bible aren't necessarily true...
Young man, you appear to be using logic to discern the Bible. Well, this Pee-Wob is the place for discussions about religion etc. so this is the correct place for such inquiry.

But does the Bible truly contain any logic at all? Isn't it all supposed to be about faith?

What would Jeebus do?


(If you need a Devil's Advocate for your further inquiry, I'll be happy to pursue, if there are no devotees of Lawd Almighty Jeebus who can respond. Just gonna have to dust off my chalice...)

Cheers young man!

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by Frankennietzsche » Sun May 26, 2013 8:00 pm

“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by mistah willies » Mon May 27, 2013 6:35 pm

frankennietzsche wrote:Here's some faith for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu3VTngm1F0
It appears that no one else is up for the challenge, young friend. Gawdayam. Cue crickets.



Alrighty then. Let’s have a dance. I will be the Devil’s Advocate for Jesus for those who don’t have the balls here.

Have at Ye!

Unicorns are indeed described in the Bible, but wasn’t it simply an English translation from Sanskrit of another sort of beast, in a way that made sense for the newbs who were read to from the King James version thrusted upon them Brits?

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by binary » Tue May 28, 2013 4:14 pm

The Bible also says drinking is bad, so it can't be right:

http://biblia.com/bible/esv/Ephesians%205.18

Or is it just saying we should drink whiskey instead? Surely that's the holy Spirit.

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by Frankennietzsche » Wed May 29, 2013 9:52 am

The Habsburgs had/have a Unicorn horn in their collection of Relics.

http://www.habsburger.net/en/chapter/ho ... g-treasure
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

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"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by Username » Thu May 30, 2013 4:44 am

ThirstyDrunk wrote:I had a dream about a narwal sea cow that had a giant titty on its head and it swam it's nipple right into my mouth
Just one giant titteh?

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whistling (whistling) whistling (whistling) dark (dark) dark (dark)

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by ThirstyDrunk » Thu May 30, 2013 6:20 pm

HAHAHA WOW!
To be fair, I'm drunker than you.

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Re: Unicorns are in the Bible!

Post by l... » Thu May 30, 2013 6:56 pm

awesome. unicorns are pretty. ;)
That's what I call Drunkard justice. I hate prisses like that. They're mincing their way through life when they should be marching. ~fkr.

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