A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Where we pay homage to our honored dead.

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Cheffie
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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Cheffie »

Oggar wrote:Image

He really held the room together.

so old school

I miss you guys, every one of you
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"Plus que ma propre vie" -more than my own life - 10

"Boom de a dah!!!"

"shey shey lang loi! (thank you pretty girl!)"- Palmwine

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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by One for the Frog »

Tony at work:
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Let's live our lives so that he would wave us through when our time comes.

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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by treetop »

steved2112 wrote: He wasn't heavy. He was my brother.
church.
it's all good in the woods, nobody hears me when i scream.

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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by treetop »

you need to know it if you want to get into heaven now
mayhem- "in the east, the brutal hammer is red"
you- "the penguins fly at dawn"
it's all good in the woods, nobody hears me when i scream.

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Cheffie
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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Cheffie »

treetop becdecorbin wrote:you need to know it if you want to get into heaven now
mayhem- "in the east, the brutal hammer is red"
you- "the penguins fly at dawn"

fuuuuck

thought I was "meeting him at midnight"

the narwhale has baconed

RIP
Last edited by Cheffie on Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
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"Plus que ma propre vie" -more than my own life - 10

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"shey shey lang loi! (thank you pretty girl!)"- Palmwine

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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Mr Boozificator »

For what it is worth, here is the short story I once wrote about why he supposedly hated the Welsh. He found it amusing back then and told me it made him laugh a lot:

"You might have all noticed that Mayhem seems to have some inextinguishable fury against people from Wales, but you might wonder why. So, this is why:

Back in 1984, young Mayhem who was only 12 and lived, back then, in Maine (yeah, he keeps quiet about this part, that's why you didn't know) was walking towards his school, in the countryside, wearing the wonderful puffy sheep disguise that would allow him to deliver a major performance in the school celebration pastoral play. He was supposed to interprete Fluffy, the sheperdess favourite lamb, which rejoiced him to the extreme, since he secretely had a thing for young and hot Lucie, the sheperdess in question.
But fate had other dreadfull plans for him than long minutes on the lap of the school best looking girlie, as uphill, hidden behind the hedge was a cart containing four seriously drunk Welsh who had watched him approaching in the distance and mistook him for a real sheep of sizeable proportions (young Mayhem was already quite beefy for his age), just what they needed for their summer festival three days party.
Just as young Mayhem reached the hedge, day dreaming about Lucie's thighs, he heard a voice saying:"cutie cutie cutie, come here my plumpy one." Deeply in his character, poor Mayhem could only respond "Baha baha ?", and that was enough for the Welsh: with an evil grin, the biggest one leapt from the cart on to the young boy. In a few seconds, they tied up the wrists and ankles of our hero and threw him defenseless in the cart, his bahabas of supplication muffled by a stinky handkerchief.
The cart left the kidnapping scene unnoticed, in a haze of dust and "Ych a Fi" exclamations from the Welsh, as the "sheep" had a tendancy to fart in fear.
A few hours of bumping and bouncing along in the cart, and Mayhem finally arrived at the Welsh camp, where everything was ready fo the big party: enormous barrels of ale were being opened one by one with an axe, and in the middle of the clearing, women were adding wood to an already roaring fire. A fire that Mayhem would soon learn to hate.
During the first evening and the first night, the tradition was the welsh sheep dance, according to which, every man in turn would dance by the fire with the sheep on his shoulders, before finally throwing the sheep on the ground and kicking him once, in rejection of the no longer necessarry winter scarf.
As the second day began, Mayhem butt and ribs were seriously soare, but he kept on going bahh bahh, for fear those rude peasants would discover he was a boy and kill him to avoid the whole story revealed to the American villagers. The Welsh were very drunk and aggressive, and Mayhem knew he stood little chance against that primal crowd, so he kept on pretending, and had to observe the second day tradition: jump over the fire an incredible number of times, with each time a huge Welsh guy waiting for him on the other side with a pint in one hand and a leather belt in the other, ready to whip his poor buttocks in order to make him jump back in the other direction. The poor lad was exhausted and thirsty as hell when the sun finally disappeared behind the horizon. All he could think about now was how he would love to drink one of those pints, even though he never had beer before, and how he wished he would be the one with the belt.
He fell asleep like this, all huddled in his now dirty and slightly burnt sheep costume, only to be waken up by an even worse thirst and some terrible heat. He inmediately discovered with a "Bahhhhhhhaaaaba!?" of horror that he was tied to a stake and beeing turned above the fire. As conclusion to their little party, they were finally roasting him!
Mayhem knew that there was no time to lose: he gathered all his energy to force his bladder and peed on the fire, after what he fiercefully gnawd at the string around his wrists and liberated his hand in front of the mesmerised Welsh. He then untied his ankles, picked up burning potatoes from the ashes and threw them to the Welsh who, startled by this enraged sheep who could stand on his rear legs, fled. Mayhem nonetheless picked up the stake and beat up the slowest and the oldest of them with it before they could retreat, yelling for the first time (but not the last as we all know) "how d'you like that, you mother fucker from fucking Wales, hum?". After what, his thirst stroke him, and remembering the endless jumping above the fire at the mercy of that man with a pint, he headed for one of the barrels and drank it half empty before deciding in an enourmous burp that from this day on, he would certainly be the one with the pint rather than the one jumping over the flames.
The rest of the storry is uncertain, but we know for sure though, that Mayhem made it back to Lucie's house, where he generously peed on her bed and beat the shit out of her with the stake, for he was totally drunk, and Lucie's last name was Evans.

So you know everything now. Who wouldn't understand why Mayhem feels this way? I'm asking."
"I never want to go to bed if there are still beers in the fridge, but then I am always hopeful that there are beers left in there when I wake up.". Thirstydrunk.

"We all look for happiness, but without knowing where to find it: like drunkards who look for their house, knowing dimly that they have one." Voltaire

"The prince of darkness is a gentleman." Shakespeare.

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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Palinka (RIP) »

I have vodka and Claret and I know how to use them!
To Tony; "Cry Mayhem! For Endrunkenment, Valhalla and St Ethyl!"*


*From Shakespeare's, little known play, "King Tony the Fifth (of Bourbon), or The Comedy of Terrors".
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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Miklo »

I never met him or had a conversation with with him, but from the way all of you talk about him, he sounds like a truly great man. My heart goes out to all of you who feel the pain of this loss.
“And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.”
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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Shot Time »

I just realized that he posted on a comment to my status update on Monday and I never replied. First thing I was going to do was buy him a shot when I was home. Dammit.
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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Sgt. HSA »

Like many others who have posted in this thread, I also have not been around here in a long time. But there's no way I couldn't come back and pay my respects to the one and only Mayhem.

When I arrived here in 2004, Mayhem was the first one to welcome me aboard, and, as I soon found, the first one to get needled by seemingly every other board member. He never got pissed, never lost his sense of humor, and, perhaps most importantly, never took himself or any of the stuff that went on here seriously. He was always the first one to comment and be supportive when someone was down, never had a bad word to say about anyone, and handled all of the adversity in his own life (of which there was an astonishing amount) with a stoic outlook and zero self pity.

BMMS asked me last night for my favorite Mayhem story, and I immediately recalled his infamous wall slide at Con II in Denver, but there were many I could have told, even though I only spent 2 Con weekends with him in the 10 years I knew him. I looked through my phone last night to see when I had last talked to him, and saw that I'd asked him back in April when he was coming out to Maine to finally hit the Old Port with me. And realizing it was never going to happen was like a punch to the gut.

On Sunday, for the first time in so long I can't remember, I bought a 6 of the infamous Geary's HSA. At the time I thought it was just a whim, but when I opened one last night to toast the one and only Mayhem, I had to wonder if something told me to have it on hand and ready; Mayhem asked me to send him some so many times that I ended up lugging a 6 pack of the stuff to the Con in Denver just so I could give him one.

Cheers, pallie; as was stated, all the cheers for the foreseeable future are going to be coming your way.

And one I had to dig out of photobucket:

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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Shmoo »

Tony was the first MDM'er I met and it was in Rochester. He will be missed. To Tony!
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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Duluoz »

So it goes...
"My witness is the empty sky."

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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Palinka (RIP) »

Duluoz wrote:So it goes...
Let's hope that Vonnegut was right.
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Modern Drunkard »

I had the extreme pleasure of drinking with Tony during the Cons and from the start it was plain that this was a human cannonball of a man--a sort of gloriously bespectacled and goateed cannonball--ever in search of the gunpowder that would send him roaring into the night and lucky for him they sell it at every liquor store in the land.

He imparted to me many gems of wisdom during the Cons, such as "I wouldn't step on your hand nearly as much if you'd get off the goddamn floor" and "You're only as generous as the next shot you buy for us right now."

Did I call him a mere cannonball? I do his memory a great dishonor. He was more akin to a barrel of top-shelf, high-proof rum jouncing down a greased and steep grade, ruthlessly and quite rightfully crushing half-steppers and milk-soppers alike. Also, the barrel is on fire.

Of course, we all knew every greased and steep grade comes to an end and someday that excellent barrel would hit the wall and expand into a glorious explosion of everything that is good and right about the drunkard spirit.

The exact details of his passing are hazy right now, but this is what I've gathered:

During a distillery tour--for reasons I'm entirely sure were well thought out--Tony relieved the guide of his duties with a well-aimed Judo chop to the throat. He then insisted the tour group climb to the top of a monstrous vat of raw spirit so they could "properly gaze into the belly of the goddamn beast." It was then that a poorly-minded child slipped and was swallowed up by that vast sea of unaged booze.

True to form (and while the rest of the group wailed and wrung their hands), Tony bravely leapt into the vat, slicing through the surface like a sleek otter that was somehow capable of breathing pure alcohol, dove to the bottom, seized the child and lifted her up into the arms of her hysterical father.

Tony then courageously fought off multiple rescue attempts by distillery workers, saying that by "the natural law of Men of Danger" the contents of the vat now legally belonged to him and besides, while at the bottom he thought he might have glimpsed other beleaguered children or perhaps a treasure trove of Nazi gold.

Hours later, after a brilliant soliloquy touching on the essential futility of human existence, ordering out twice for pizza and wings, and giving "this young and boisterous white whiskey" in which he was romping like a happy seal "four out of five stars, but with plenty of room for improvement," he finally drowned, which was odd since by then the level of the vat was roughly ankle deep.

Now I know there is already a rumor going around that, after distracting the father with a punch to the stomach, Tony shoved that child into the vat, but that sort of scurrilous nonsense is exactly what can be expected to be spewn from evil maw of the Anti-Saloon League's propaganda machine.

I wish we could have shared more rounds, you magnificent bastard. Not sure which after-hours party you were planning on attending, but try not to drink up all the booze before I get there. In the meantime, I'll raise the traditional seven to you tonight.

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Dum viviumus, vivamus

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Re: A Titan Among Us Has Fallen

Post by Shot Time »

Dammit Frank, if only he was around to read that. Awesome.
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