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peetie44
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Re: My poem for an aging drunkard

Post by peetie44 »

el pulpo wrote:Talk of cities today
recalls in me the energy
of the big walk and talk
on the white hot concrete.

The supreme, dream walk
of teen-aged muscled boundless grace--
the strident bulletproof walk
in that pouncing, know-it-all pace.

Then is the never-again-to-be now.
And now, the here and the how of now,
quells the bounce and stills the juice.
At times it even conjures the noose.


I miss the city and its crimes
I miss my youth and those times
I miss the arrogance, the hungover lunches
and still I even miss the comeuppances.

Yet replaced it all another way
a nodding, barefoot, silent way...
Among the fields tonight in the sky I saw,
the stars as never before.
That's really soulful, man.
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk

"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be

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JimLahey
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Re: My poem for an aging drunkard

Post by JimLahey »

I like it.

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Re: My poem for an aging drunkard

Post by Rooster »

While I generally prefer the Filthy Limerick, good job.

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A poem

Post by fiyah »

"Need me
Whiskey" -fiyah
22:21 Thirsty i was too drunk to be high
[13:22] <@Veen> I need to find the penis monster
[23:03] <@fabric> dont masturbate to me

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ThirstyDrunk
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Re: A poem

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

Very succinct. I like it.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought

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Patchez
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Re: A poem

Post by Patchez »

Almost a drunken Haiku.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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A drunkard fictional fiction story

Post by oettinger »

This was born upon my birthday wishes to Oggar.



When Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, the whole world watched on live TV.

What the NASA cut out is when he approached a tiny metal device sticking out of the moon.
It was a three feet long water faucet.

The NASA guys wondered: Was it the Russians? The Chinese? Have we been that drunk last week and left it there?

No, it turned out to be an alien wateringhole they use upon their quest to get more drunk through the universe.

For non aliens, imagine it like this: You travel 100 light years without a refill, need to smoke and take a piss.

The tap was installed on moon.

Mars was the smoking area.

Earth was the toilet.


The aliens took a break, had a nice, "Dinosaur-Sandwich" and wanted to move on to a drinking contest on Alpha Centauri, when suddenly life (and most importantly drink) evolved in the blue toilet.

After staying for another cig they waited for the perfect opportunity to challenge Earth in a drinkout.




Write along, it`s upon you to partake, throw other Drunkard characters in, twist the story, whatever
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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mistah willies
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Re: A drunkard fictional fiction story

Post by mistah willies »

I've seen this cut out footage. I can only recall it when I am pleasantly hammered, as I am write now.

In this lost footage, good ole Neil whipped out his handy flask and opened it. The vacuum of space instantly evaporated his bourbon in a flash of blue light.


Across the solar system, on the fourth rock from the sun, one of them aliens was holding his manhood in one tentacle, and smoking his cig with another. He exhaled his shmoke and looked up into the night sky. It was a good week to piss and shmoke at the same time.

(Aliens take several days and nights to piss, and their cigs are a mile long. That is why that planet is so dusty and has all of those canals.)

He saw a blue flash form the satellite orbiting the toilet planet.


He dropped his cig (which landed on the Mars Rover #2 and killed it) and put his penis back into his pants. Of course, this took seven hours to roll it all back in).


He alerted the Space Alien Commander through his walkie-talkie. He said, "Commander Space Alien #69 ! This is Space Pisser #42 ! I have intercepted a strange blue light form the turd swirling around the toilet!"



*Bzzzzz... Click*


"Hello, yes, this is #69. Did you wipe?"


"Hello #69 ! No, I am too excited! What does this mean?"


"Hello #42. This means that if you get too excited, you will rip your space pants and die form the explosion."


Meanwhile, back on the moon, Neil placed his flask under the spigot, the faucet, and he pressed really hard, and then he turned on the knob. The faucet filled his flask with liquid that made it really hard to hold onto.

Ole Neil turned off the spigot and screwed the cap onto his flask really tight.


The liquid was so heavy that it did not escape in the vacuum of space. It felt, to Neil, that it must weigh about 2 stone, or 28 lbs. It was hard to hold in one hand.


He suddenly had the urge to sip the space alien "'Water" from and smoke from his pipe at the same time. He made the wise decision to not remove his space helmet at this time.


What was in that flask? What was this "Water" anyways?




---next Drunkard?---

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oettinger
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Re: A drunkard fictional fiction story

Post by oettinger »

Well done W. you are an exemplary drunkard. Other drunks should take note and follow your lurid way and partake!

One of the aliens PMed me the following:

"You drunk people forgot good ol Neil on the moon! We sent an alien replacement back to earth. After sipping on his flask he was adamant to stay. No hurry though, it doesn`t seem that he has the intention to return in the next couple of years.
Btw: First round will be in the small mexican town El Imbibo in a little tavern called La Excrementa. Three of you, three of us, three gallons of Mezcal, three hours. See you pussies at noon."

Ok guys, lets get it on! Who knew that the pervert E.T. was already in drinking age huh?!
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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oettinger
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Re: A drunkard fictional fiction story

Post by oettinger »

I got another APM (Alien Personal Browjob) huhuhhu:

It says:
Image

They Killed Bill!
Fucktards are screaming for war!!!!!!!!!!1111111!!!!111!!
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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oettinger
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Re: A drunkard fictional fiction story

Post by oettinger »

May I introduce a new member of our drinking gang: Admiral Benson. With him on board the contest becomes a cakewalk
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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Re: A drunkard fictional fiction story

Post by mistah willies »

The aliens woke something up. You know, their chicks were quite interesting to look at.

This did not bode well for admiralty

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oettinger
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Re: A drunkard fictional fiction story

Post by oettinger »

I think I drunkely trolled my own topic,
great just great
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Re: A drunkard fictional fiction story

Post by mistah willies »

oettinger wrote:I think I drunkely trolled my own topic,
great just great
...Those were the thoughts of good ole Neil, left alone on the moon.

He wondered how he got the flask inside his helmet during his blackout. The pipe was in there as well, but the cherry had died. His eyes watered from the smoke.

He looked up at the planet Earth overhead and he yelled. He said, "Kennedy! I blame you for this!" The sound rang inside his helmet, and his head tolled like a proper hangover bell.

He staggered over to the faucet to see if it would pour.

It was hard to see, because it was lit only by the glow of the Earth, reflecting th esun, which was behind the moon.


Ole Neil said, "Holy shit! How long was I passed out form this shit?"



...

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oettinger
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Re: A drunkard fictional fiction story

Post by oettinger »

He found a newspaper, headline read: Ravens bet Giants 34:7, shrugged took a sip and let two little paper planes fly to earth

Take that you dirty communists he screamed and let them go.

Oh shit!

Another gulp.

The aliens were bewildered, "Are they killing themselfes".

Is that an inside job?
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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