Tomorrow Night's Benefit Punch thread

[Badfellow]

Well, Drunaks,

Looks like I'm in charge of raising the Punch for tomorrow night's party. Its a benefit for puppies. Rescue pit bulls, actually. The cover is $5 per head, so it has to be strong.

Preliminary recipe:

1 liter Cruzan White
750 ml Dry Sherry
250 ml Triple Sec
200 ml Wray & Nephew overproof white rum
200 ml Wild Turkey 101

1 liter pineapple juice
2 fresh squeezed oranges
4 fresh squeezed lemons
Red Vermouth to taste


What am I missing here?

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

Everclear. Or maybe some Devil Springs vodka. Won't add much to the taste but will add to the punch of the punch.

[Badfellow]

True that. Unfortunately we don't get Devil Springs this far west.

I need to find a couple of black scorpions for garnish.

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

Hmm...you could always use a dash of turpentine.

[Badfellow]

That would pair well with the lead-based appetizers, wouldn't it?

[ThirstyDrunk]

What am I missing here?

Pit Bull urine

[Screwball]

What am I missing here?

Pit Bull urine

That'll put a bit of wang to the taste of it.

[Drednik]

Will there be a live sex act?

[Wingman]

as you fuckers (should) know, i'm a big fan of the chatham artillery punch. but alton brown did open our eyes to the cape fear punch, which we will try before long. probably for the super bowl. will try to report.

[Badfellow]

PUNCH DEBRIEFING:

Here's what I can tell you. The key to a successful punch is that it contains a lot of booze, but doesn't taste like it contains a lot of booze. The term that comes to mind is beguiling. Like an iron fist inside of a velvet gauntlet, that sort of bitch slap is what a well crafted punch should deliver. The guests, beguiled as such, heighten their ecstacy and quickly reach the point of no return. And with that besotted realization, they come to know that they are comitted to the fullest of their inebriations.

And that is when the party is getting started.

Mission accomplished. As for the fornication, it was either a pit bull or a very surly hornless unicorn.

[Negromancer]

I read it as "tomorrow night's beer hall putsch thead"

Honest mistake I suppse.