How to Properly prepare a Margarita

[ScreamingToast]

Trust me, I know what I'm doing. I've been practicing this all night. This is the most kick-ass margarita known to man. This is no sissy fruity booze smoothie, this drink is reccomended for experienced drinkers.

First, you need the following ingredients:

1800 Tequila, or any good tequila. Real agave cactus juice is best.

Grand Mariner... marniey... whatever, triple sec tasting shit

One fresh lime per drink.

Salt, kosher or margarita.

ice

drinking vessel



First, you need to cut the lime into quarters and juice it into your shaker. Don't have a shaker? You're an amateur then, buy a bottle of the pre-mixed garbage and fuck off. Anyways, juice the entire lime into your shaker. Use the spent lime to juice the rim of your drinking vessel and dip in the salt. Now, add two shots of tequila. That's right, two shots of tequila and a tablespoon of lime juice, I told you this margarita kicks ass. Add one shot of grand whatever, triple sec orange tasting shit.

Shake it. It's ok to shake this drink, a good margarita doesn't mind a few chunks of broken ice. Shake it till it hurts.

Pour into prepared salty glass and enjoy.

Godsdamn, that's a good margarita.

Slainte.

[MeanOldLady]

this is a solid recipe that i am in no way adverse to consuming, but...

Don't have a shaker? You're an amateur then, buy a bottle of the pre-mixed garbage and fuck off.

yes and no. for adults, this is usually accurate, but i spent many years being a poor college hack with a lust for cocktails, but only a fruitless desire for money and drinkware. so, like a lot of people, i'd put two cups together, shake and serve. some of my proudest/lowest moments were of me mixing up drinks in red solo cups, like a common sorority whore, and delivering perfectly mixed liquid perfection.

[The Drunken Songstress]

Screw that! I make my servant boys mix it for me...

[ScreamingToast]

this is a solid recipe that i am in no way adverse to consuming, but...

Don't have a shaker? You're an amateur then, buy a bottle of the pre-mixed garbage and fuck off.

yes and no. for adults, this is usually accurate, but i spent many years being a poor college hack with a lust for cocktails, but only a fruitless desire for money and drinkware. so, like a lot of people, i'd put two cups together, shake and serve. some of my proudest/lowest moments were of me mixing up drinks in red solo cups, like a common sorority whore, and delivering perfectly mixed liquid perfection.

Agreed. A shaker isn't neccesarily some fancy designer stainless contraption. Any appropriately sized cups can be used. I hope to not offend any drinkers with improvised shakers.

[Screwball]

You, Sir, have made a True margarita. That thing called a margarita that is frozen is just a Slurpee with crap tequila. A True margarita is a lovely thing. Got to get limes from Central Market tomorrow.