World cup drinks

[oettinger]

Some of you may have been brutaly woken out of your alcoholic vapour haze by a soccer ball (repeat: Bouwell, please) knockin on your head.
It`s this time of the year again, we weirdos do World Cup again. To be kind we elected to do it only every four years and not four weeks a year as some females suggested... sorry

So help me find out who is gonna win the the Cup o`the 'orld this time!

First the official groups are listed and to every country a certain local drink is added and then the groups battle it out by your vote which drink wins of the four. Then it`s knock out till we have a winner. Maybe the US of bourbon stands a chance this time?
I`d say refs are not always fair, a kind dive in form of a wonderfoul description can steer the game`s favour towards an underdog. Never bet againts asian mafia and such, you know.

To make matters far more easier than the official tournament scedule we go by: Winner A vs B meets Winner C vs D etc until ultimate shakedown. No complaints, if so talk to Sepp Blatter please. Not me!

I need your help now to fill out the groups "A" and "B". If no suggestions are made that means an auto-out for said country.

So we have group A:
Barzil, Caipirinha.
Mexico, Tequila
(Note, this should atleast be elite eight, I know... )
Cameroon, bil-bil, a local alcoholic beverage derived from millet and sold at the weekly markets on Thursday and Saturday nights hmm
Croatia, Rakia

B:
Netherlands, Genever
Chile, ? Your turn ?
Australia, Fosters? Australians what do you want to enter?
Spain, Brandy

[kowalski]

Maybe have VB or Tooheys instead of Fosters for Australia?

[oettinger]

Sure, I`m no expert but Tooheys looks cooler, still a big task to beat spain.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Chile - that shit made by a Shaman of secret herbs that makes you vomit and see god.
No wait maybe that was Peru.

[oettinger]

No more entrys? You all drunk? Mind you there is the fine group "G" with the germans and the US in it. Is bourbon again kicking whitebeer`s ass, making it a threepeat?

If this doesn`t go well I`ll have to abort my plans for a six page lasting post about the 2016 drunkalympics in Sao Hoocho.

And I`ll not show you the shocking footage I obtained of a nude drunken Steffi Graf during the 1989 wimbledon semis!

[Palinka (RIP)]

...still a big task to beat spain.

I note that you have Spain down for brandy. Surely Sangria is far more Spanish than brandy?

[oettinger]

...still a big task to beat spain.

I note that you have Spain down for brandy. Surely Sangria is far more Spanish than brandy?

Thanks for the info, you are surely right. From now on Sangria is the main header from spain.
His attacking style is a lot weaker then the brandy (he often gets caught offside vomiting for ex.) and australia may sneak out with an unpredictable win all of a sudden

[oettinger]

Group C:
Colombia, coke aaaaand????
Ivory Coast, hmm what about pina colada? ivorish and such?
Japan, sake huh? can`t stand it myself
Greece, Ouzo, should win this in a landslide and have some more ouzo shots while beating on the competition

D:
Uh oh
Costa Rica, hmm help needed again
Italy, tough one, grappa or some wine? Is wine reserved for france though? France may also field old cognac in the middle
UK, ehem, England, (which Palinke love`s to see fail while watching John Dlay play golf) see above some may be able to field a whole 22 player deep squad of veterans and young talent all playing in international top bar leagues. But who is their bright shining star, decorating your wall on a poster, rUeminding you every morning how great he his?
Uruguay, no need to show up in this group really. Prove me wrong, then of course shame on me!

[Palinka (RIP)]

...England, (which Palinke love`s to see fail [...] )...

I apologize for any misunderstanding on this. I am not one of those "Any Team but England" Scots. I was only saying that my only reason for watching the England Vs. Italy game, would be to count the missed opportunities. Apathy not antipathy.
Talking of Italy, they should surely be represented by Grappa (a hard attack, long finish and a tendency to take a dive), no?

[oettinger]

...England, (which Palinke love`s to see fail [...] )...

I apologize for any misunderstanding on this. I am not one of those "Any Team but England" Scots. I was only saying that my only reason for watching the England Vs. Italy game, would be to count the missed opportunities. Apathy not antipathy.
Talking of Italy, they should surely be represented by Grappa (a hard attack, long finish and a tendency to take a dive), no?

Point taken, Grappa (only had bad experiences with this ashtray resembling hooch) it will be. Had that dive bar comment reserved for Portugal but here it is. Still not enough to fool the ref againts the assault that is England. But until some true lionhearts chime in we still can`t decide exactly what and who butchered the federation of azzuri bartending

[oettinger]

To make matters worse there are four more groups of insanely (mostly) drunk countrys
E:
Switzerland, can you clock chocolate cheese? Bank is open
Ecuador, yay another rum country? Sozialism works see, see!!!
France, another heavy weight to be reconed with. Red wine is their aging super star, alongside him the slightly younger cognac patroning the middle. Tough question who to start, your vote! The team`s bartender described it as follows: If we want to go strictly by mere liverpunching force, cognac is our guy, but in the long run our well aged Red Wine here will outmatch you like Ali. Have some, then some more and when you think you`re fine boom he hits with a perfectly timed side attack called the „voulez-vous councher avec moi“
Honduras, well „voulez-vous councher avec moi“...

F:
Argentina, Mate with a slight punch of some messi mix containing white beer and grappa as it seems most argenitnians by name are of german or italian descent. Wondering why they field this team? Goes very well with their ultra tasty steaks, that`s why!
Bosnia and Herzegovina, Rakia country again I think
Iran, oh boy who the hell invited this pissed off dry into this tournamet? For christ sakes btw
Nigeria, the golden eagles, some unkown golden drink, may it be beer or tequila remains to be seen. Your vote again!
Still, while drawing up this group and putting some serious contenders together in others, the people at FIFAO (fuck I fetch another one) must have been on a week long binge. This reeks of some very hehehe moments and very dark humor on their parts!!!! Makes me sick...

G:
Another big shakedown in group drinking stage! Germany and the US in one group together and that even before deathmatch round! Ridiculous, I cry foul game, corrupted system and so on. But well here we are:
Germany, as my beloved pilsner isn`t even from germany we again have to settle for that stomach twisting white beer from that arrogant asshole region also known as bavaria or austria.2.
There is not a lot to expect from this brezel chewing overzealous self indulged team other than some trash talk about „ureines amerikanish beer“. Will they be that malicious and sub in the notorious bone-breaker korn schnaps only to kick in young promising bourbons legs and end his career at the pool table. I myself of this descent can not answer this question and am horrified of the results, stay tuned...

Portugal, fortified wine. Yes, around this corner if you ask for a portugese wine you almost always recieve a red with some extra punch in it. Could the portugese dive under the radar into next round while germans and americans are into a serious bar brawl? Your vote!

Ghana, sorry thanks for participating. Had a professor from Ghana at the university once who told us students that the warm weather in germany was a lot worse then in his home country because of it`s humidity, that`s all.

US, Bourbon. Big time favorite on paper. But what`s that? In team fighting about a stupid tennessee recipe? Will this nonesense doom their ultimate plan on souzed worldom?

H:
Belgium, Jupiler all the way. Had some encouters with it before and I can tell you: this is the stuff with which dreams are shredded with. Throwing up during a three at night storm on an ostende beach will teach you lessons for life you surely will never forget! Another under the radar contender right here, this bastard knows all the tricks
Algeria, „voulez-vous councher avec moi“ the french said not too long ago
Russia, vodak. Yes it`s my drink and let`s be „clear“ it`s a „clean cut“ candidate for world hoochination. Only problem is, it`s star player is patroling the bars aimlessly blind at times, but so does the `merican aswell. Nuke it out I say, shall the last one glow in radioactive eternity!
South Korea, wikipedia says: Yakju. Literally „medicinal alcohol“, is a refined rice wine... blablabla you get the twist
This sounded cool to me. Note! Sleeper pick, this guy literally never gets hurt.

The groups are set. Correct me where ever you can! Knockout stage is around the corner.

[oettinger]

Round of 16, there are only eight seats at the bar. Who will survive and what will be left of them? The Rio Brainsaw Massacre

Winner A: Mexico, Tequila. The hometown discount wasn`t enough for Brazil`s Caipirinha. They tried to sneak some extra alcohol into it`s star player`s system but messed up the hooching hydration of the rest of the team and you should know: without an adequate chaser for striker tequila you are done!

VS.

Winner B: Spain, Brandy. No contest really. Do the spainards get lazy after this easy go by now? Could end brutally violent against the drinkout tested tequilas

Winner C: Greece, Ouzo. First the colombians smoked the japanese by thinking that rice was indeed crackcocaine but shot themselfes in the nose afterwards by losing it`s star player Escobar for violating the CIA`s very strict anti drug policies...

VS.

Winner D: England. Easy, the three malts waltzed through this group in ca. 1650 style. Still started a small fight with their own hooligans who requested coach P. R. Inse Williams to enter fan favorite Ale Brown of Newcastle United Shitfaced fame



No more votes? Must be the good weather...

Your turn still.

The other groups are still open!

[oettinger]

Winner E: France, Cognac. Barely drank themselfes to senses. Hipster red wine doesn`t equal Liberte,Egalite, Fraternite. Hard liquor got a late but deserved penalty and scored twice with a double shot.

VS.

All losers F: some miracle ref job notwithstanding, this is a go by for the french. We as fans lose.

Winner G: USA, Bourbon kicked germany`s balls, what it is supposed to do. Overcame the little in team skirmish also.
But now a certain tea party want`s to enter it`s player for next round. Observers ask: He has no kegs to stand a ground on, neither can play drunk, nor does he know where Brazil is but wants to drink it.
Ok Ok, go ahead Tea Spoons, flock your country`s chances a little more!

VS.

Winner H: Uh oh. Vodka, Vodak, and the other 19 brothers of Vo made a sudden death out of Belgium, Algeria and South Korea.
The european union was quick in distancing itslef so far from it`s own dissembling propaganda regarding a russinan win that it entered through shanghai, west over tehran, kaukasus and hindukush finally brussels again in it`s own ass. Go figure!
There are serious talks to put EU on the disabled list for the duration of the tournament.

[booznik]

I don't understand what's going on in this thread at all, but I approve of all the liquor.

[oettinger]

I don't understand what's going on in this thread at all, but I approve of all the liquor.

Good
Make that a butthead GOOOOOD hehe