How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

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How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

Post by Dear Booze » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:36 pm

The day after Thanksgiving in 2010, Black Friday, November 26th in Germany and other ungrateful and Godless parts of the world.

I was invited to my buddy Khan's house for drinks and games. There were several other friends there too. It really wasn't a special occasion of any kind; Khan enjoys hosting "game and drinking night" on a fairly regular basis. And everyone always has fun. Khan picks great games and everyone gets loaded, and, eventually, things get broken.

On that particular evening, there were eight of us. Allen, Art, Steve and Jane, Pino and his girlfriend Michele ("with one 'L'"), and Khan and his wife.

We were all drink Jameson and Ginger that night and laughing, and having a great time. Khan had chosen a trivia game which required the group two split into two teams of four. Upon turn, each team selected one of their own players to describe a word written on a card without using the word or any form of it. We must have played this for a couple of hours. During that time, I began to realize that Michele (with one "L") was an idiot. And the worst part about it was that she didn't think she as an idiot. To make matters worse, she was a smug cunt who thought of herself as some god damned intellectual.

I started hating her.

I started making fun of her, passive aggressive style.

She didn't seem to catch any of the insults.

So I stepped up my game.

The final straw was when, as part of the game, she was supposed to describe something but kept saying "I don't know what this is... it's something foreign..." and then the buzzer went off. Time ran out. We lost the game.

So I took the card to see what it was. The card read "Guinea Pig".

"It's Guinea Pig," I announced.

"I know what a Guinea Pig is," she said. "This doesn't say 'Guinea Pig.' It says 'Gwen-ay-a Pig'."

That's how it is spelled, I explained.

"No it's not."

So I passed the card around the table and everyone politely explained that G-U-I-N-E-A is, in fact, the correct spelling of the word. It didn't phase her. Instead, she smugly stated "You know, a guinea pig is not a part of the pig family."

The insults, continued and she wanted to leave.

Pino and Michele (with one "L") left. Shortly after, Pino sent me a text telling me what an asshole I was and that I was completely out of line. I didn't care. And I ignored the message. I figured she pressured him into sending it. Fuck her. And fuck him. He had done way worse during the MANY MANY years that we had been friends. Hell, he's the one who took a shit in the pillowcase of a girl who I had dated. You know, because it was hilarious.

He'll get over it.

So here we are, seven years later, and he's still dating her. And, I've only seen him twice since the. Both time were at funerals.

The best part is that the rest of the group, as well as many of our other friends refer to the day after Thanksgiving as Gwen-ay-a Pig Day.

Happy Gwenaya Pig everyone!
Last edited by Dear Booze on Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holliday

Post by Artful Drunktective » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:44 pm

Happy Gwenaya Pig and Festivus for the rest of us everyone!
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Re: How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

Post by mistah willies » Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:18 am

Happy Gwenaya Pig and Festivus for the rest of us indeed. Alumineeum poles and paper towels tubes galore.

Cheers to DB who has the balls to troll someone to their stupid face.

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Re: How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

Post by oldsmartskunk » Wed Dec 06, 2017 5:56 pm

You were drunk and acted like an ass. And insulted stupid girl for being stupid. My hero! I would have done the same. Did it many times. Lost a friend because it. Fucker is unhappily married.

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Re: How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

Post by ScottMcG » Mon Feb 26, 2018 8:33 pm

That's an inspiring story! Thank you for sharing...she deserved it.
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Re: How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

Post by Dear Booze » Fri Nov 23, 2018 3:50 pm

Happy Gwenaya Pig Day everyone!
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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Re: How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

Post by Nausea » Sat Nov 24, 2018 9:45 am

This story reminds me of a time I was at a poker game. Someone asked how to spell "moustache/mustache." I spelled it with an 'o' in there, which is correct, and was mocked for it: "LOL, 'MOOOSTACH'."

Then someone looked it up on their phone to confirm that it is, indeed, "mustache", but didn't look up "moustache" to see if that was also correct. Confirmation bias. I didn't have a smart phone at the time so I had to endure being mocked by these idiots for my correct spelling of the word.

Still annoys me to this day.

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Re: How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

Post by oettinger » Sat Nov 24, 2018 6:24 pm

Why do you resurrect this? Do I have to read it again?

And Nausea you either won that game/killed those moostache wearing mofos` wifes and children/ later anyhow right?


moostache ;/(
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Re: How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

Post by Dear Booze » Sun Nov 25, 2018 12:14 am

Nausea wrote:
Sat Nov 24, 2018 9:45 am
This story reminds me of a time I was at a poker game. Someone asked how to spell "moustache/mustache." I spelled it with an 'o' in there, which is correct, and was mocked for it: "LOL, 'MOOOSTACH'."

Then someone looked it up on their phone to confirm that it is, indeed, "mustache", but didn't look up "moustache" to see if that was also correct. Confirmation bias. I didn't have a smart phone at the time so I had to endure being mocked by these idiots for my correct spelling of the word.

Still annoys me to this day.
Foward this to those ass clowns:

A moustache (UK: /məˈstɑːʃ/; American English: mustache, /ˈmʌstæʃ/) is facial hair grown on the upper lip. Moustaches can be groomed by trimming and styling with a type of pomade called moustache wax.

Spelling:

Mustache and moustache are both correct spellings of the same word. Mustache is the most common spelling in the United States. Moustache is is used in other English-speaking countries. Mustachio is usually spelled without an “o” in the first syllable, although in the UK it is commonly written as a plural: mustachios.
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Re: How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

Post by Artful Drunktective » Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:27 am

In 6th grade there was a teacher reading vocabulary words out loud. She came to a word on the list and couldn't pronounce it and me being a spelling know-it-all, I looked at it and it was the word "Colonel". I told her it was "kernel" like Colonel freakin' Sanders and she didn't believe me that that's how it was pronounced. Dumb-ass. I hope she remembers that day of how she got schooled in school by an 11 year old.
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Re: How I Mercilessly Taunted a Stupid Girl, Lost a Life-Long Friend and Started an Annual Holiday

Post by oettinger » Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:51 am

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:27 am
In 6th grade there was a teacher reading vocabulary words out loud. She came to a word on the list and couldn't pronounce it and me being a spelling know-it-all, I looked at it and it was the word "Colonel". I told her it was "kernel" like Colonel freakin' Sanders and she didn't believe me that that's how it was pronounced. Dumb-ass. I hope she remembers that day of how she got schooled in school by an 11 year old.
Same here, in elementary we had a retard german teacher that we minors had to school many times. We always threatened to bring the dictionary to class next day
Is it just me or did the boxed bumwine cork a little bit?
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