Roadtrip To Hell Part 1.

[Mongeaux]

Roadtrip To Hell

In the second semester of my Junior year at a large New England University the Dean of Liberal Arts and I decided we needed a break from each other. Things had not been going well. I had fallen in with a bad crew of miscreants, boozers and dope fiends (pledged a fraternity) and resultant orgy of violence, vandalism, unplanned pregancies and rioting seemed to reflect badly on my chances for further matriculation within the existing educational framework.

It did not help that on the day I was hauled in I had bandages over perhaps ten percent of my epidermis and assorted police complaints for public exposure, public drunkenness, assault, and unwelcome fondling of the student body president (she was cute and willing at the time) laid upon me.

This is what happened:

A year earlier I had joined a brand-new student organization: STVN, the Student Television Network. We'd conned the council into handing over about $40K for us to set up a studio in the student union. Then we started trying to put together a news show. But nobody wanted to watch it. So we took some of the money and threw a huge party where (after ten cups of everclear punch) many female members voulnteered to remove clothing for the new video cams. Much fun was had by all.

After that we just turned into the porno party fun club. We invited student leaders to our parties, got em on video in compromising positions, and when braced later for support they willingly signed on to allocation after allocation. And the party rolled on and on and on...

The spring of that year a bunch of student politicoes managed to get an on-campus house for their lameass fraternity. They threw a big party to celebrate. All the leaders of student organizations were invited, including me and my STVN perv buddies.

We arrived to the usual keg scene. It was crowded but fun, however the brothers of this new frat were feeling pretty high and lordly, and threw their weight around in their hot new house. My buddy Paul tried to get onto the foosball table but every time his turn came up they told him somebody else was ahead of him. This went on for almost and hour and he got hotter and hotter as the asswipe brothers kept sending him to the back of the line. At some point in the evening he grabbed me and said "It's gonna get bad - we'll show these fuckers! Back me up! Get the others."

I didn't know what he was talking about at the time so I just shrugged and said "Ok." He went back to the table and got into a nasty argument with some alpha male brother in a button-down blue shirt. I lit up a butt.

The button-down asswipe spotted me and went bugshit! He got in my face and screamed "This HOUSE is a NO SMOKING HOUSE! What the FUCK do you think you're doing?"

I shrugged and looked around. "I don't see no signs."

The asswipe puffed up in fury and said "I AM TELLING YOU NOW! Get RID of that CIGARETTE!"

Everybody was staring at me. I made to stub it out on a windowsill. That made him even angrier.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" he shrieked. "Put it where it BELONGS!"

I was now the focus of attention of the entire party. I cast about for a place to put out my butt. There was nothing. I could feel my own temper bubbling up. Then I looked at him, smirking, standing there in my face with his little plastic cup of beer in his hand. Put it where it belongs?

I stubbed the butt out in his cup.

Brothers boiled out of the woodwork. But they were pussies. The STVN guys made a circle and started bashing heads. Only there were so MANY of them. Lucky for us they had invested a lot of money in a lovely plate glass window for their den. We heaved the foosball table through it and ran back to our fraternity with a howling mob at our heels. Then our brothers came out and chased the asswipes back to their house, whereupon we set to demolishing it with a will.

The last thing I remembered was urinating off the roof of the Campus Art Gallery onto the heads of a bunch of cops who were yelling at us to come down. After that a change of scenery was inevitable. Where would I go?

I not only left the school, I moved a few thousand miles south to the swamps of Louisiana to work in the Offshore Oilfields.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

[Malkor]

nice one man, quality story

[daphne]

You are a boozing, womanizing, malcontent.

Where have you been all my life? (**)

[G_W]

If "television" is one word, then why is it always abbreviated as "TV"?

[daphne]

According to one website, it was originally T/V, but was replaced by TV. This does not explain anything. I just felt the need to tell you that.

[Nombei]

Hmm... most of the U.S. state names are one word, but abbreviated two letters. I'm from MA, my friend Dave is from TX, etc.

(No, I'm not from Osaka, Japan. That's just where I happen to be living at the moment).