Of course we all have, and if anyone say he (or she) hasn't it's a crystal clear case of denial. Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just one of those little things what defines us as human.
Long story short, was out with my work mates and apparently came home late and was too "influenced" (oh gawd these over dramatic women) to be allowed in the bedroom. I woke up on the living room couch only to find that the floor and living room table was all covered by a appearingly clear(-ish) fluid.
First thought that hit my half drunk, half hungover ass was that I had spilled a glass of water but there was no glass or other sorts of containers on the table or on the floor and, eh, it looked like an awful lot of "water". Nothing else to do but to clean it up but it had been there for a good while cause the wooden floor had already swelled.
The living room floor still wear those telltale signs of that adventurous night since some of the splices in the swollen oak were permanently damaged.
We made a vat of jungle juice a while back, and I got good and ripped on it. The next morning (early afternoon more likely) I started doing some laundry. All the clothes in the top of the hamper were wet. I accused my roommates of pissing in there, but they swore they didn't (and those assholes would have admitted it laughingly if they had done it). That left one possible culprit - me.
Similar thing happened the next time we drank jungle juice, except this time I urinated on the floor of my closet. I "woke up" in the act, finished, and went back to bed.
So apparently jungle juice with Everclear leads to me blacking out and sleep walking / sleep peeing.
"You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to." - A.J.S.
Swede wrote:To quote the "Hiding your booze..." thread...
haven't we all pissed on the floor?!?
Of course we all have, and if anyone say he (or she) hasn't it's a crystal clear case of denial. Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just one of those little things what defines us as human.
Long story short, was out with my work mates and apparently came home late and was too "influenced" (oh gawd these over dramatic women) to be allowed in the bedroom. I woke up on the living room couch only to find that the floor and living room table was all covered by a appearingly clear(-ish) fluid.
First thought that hit my half drunk, half hungover ass was that I had spilled a glass of water but there was no glass or other sorts of containers on the table or on the floor and, eh, it looked like an awful lot of "water". Nothing else to do but to clean it up but it had been there for a good while cause the wooden floor had already swelled.
The living room floor still wear those telltale signs of that adventurous night since some of the splices in the swollen oak were permanently damaged.
Drink alot, piss alot...
It's nice when someone uses your quotes!!
I'll tell you one Swede...I actually pissed in the refrigerator once too. Somehow in my inebriated state I missed the food that was in the bottom and was smart enough to realize what the fuck I was doing and stop in the middle and somehow found some cleaner and towels and cleaned it up right nice...that's a run on sentance if I ever saw one :)
Though it smelled a little like bleach for awhile...
I think of that fun night everytime I make a sandwhich...*sigh*
I've been unavoidably detained by my complete lack of punctuality.
I went to a brewery with a guy, and he came back to mine afterwards, we were both completely arseholed, and lucky for me my parents were away, cos he pissed in their wardrobe!
'Contrary to urban myth, dwarf-throwing is NOT a feature of this bar'
I've pissed on floor, in cupboards, in the refridgerato, in the laundry hamper, in sinks, in garbage cans, on a stereo, on a keyboard. I've pissed myself in bed, on the couch (twicein 24hrs once), in chairs, on the floor, in my girlfriends bed. But I can top all of that because I once took a shit in my own laundry hamper, because I was living the rockstar/bachelor lifestyle it took me three days to figure out where the smell was coming from.
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott
RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.
Of course she was in bed with me at the time. Oh as for a solution to the problem, try the pet supply section- ther's all sorts of stuff for cleaning up pet messes. Though I have heard really good things about this. http://www.scoe10x.com/scripts/default.asp
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott
RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.
Leaving a Charleston, WV strip club (with a perfectly good restroom), I pissed on a UPS mailbox in the middle of downtown - or their version of it. If the wrong person saw it, my career would have been over.
Its only a disturbing problem if you do it in your own home. Otherwise, let it fly!
There's nothing more inviting than a pile of dirty clothes on a bathroom floor. Mmm, urine fresh scent.
I recall really, really wanting to leave a man-sized present in a kitty litter box. To be honest though, that cat crapped bigger than I do. I've never seen such loads. Damn thing hadn't been emptied in a month. This was the same house as the above, so pissing on the clothes was probably an improvement. Is it odd that I tend to make it to the bathroom and THEN decide fuggit, I'm painting the walls?
What is with the intrinsic fascination with peeing off a balcony? Its irresistible. I'm 32 for chrissake, and I still giggle my ass off if I manage to whiz gasoline on someone's head. Somehow, someone else always gets blamed. That's a running theme for me.
Can you really drink enough to make it flammable? Somebody call Mythbusters. I'd like to see them drink themselves dead for a good cause. Here lies whoeverthefuck, the first and last human flamethrower.
1pm friday. Jeebus, deliver me from this place so I can go forth and get righteously drunk in thy name, amen. Father, forgive me for I have sinned, for it has been four fuckin days since the last good drink.
Vegas Airport circa 2004. Blackout drunk, barely made it past security to the concourse. Went in the john, stepped up to the urinal and pissed. Unfortunately, I didn't unzip my fly, pissed myself standing upright at the urinal. Needless to say, I wasn't let on my flight, had to catch a redeye home, so there's a pissing story and a too-drunk-to-get-on-a-plane story all wrapped up in one.
Of course, I don't remember any of it, so I'm not sure it happened, but my buddy that sat with me as I was passed out on the concourse won't ever let it go.
fourth year of university (there were eight altogether) i had two spare rooms. one friday evening i drank three 40 oz bottles of schlitz malt liquor in about thirty minutes and crawled into bed next to my 'fem de jour'. the next morning i awoke (naked and slightly sticky) in one of the spare (warm and dry) beds to the screems of the girl standing before me holding my dripping wet bed clothes. She was soaked and shivering. i quickly realized what had happened; however, as much as i wanted to appoligise, i could not stop laughing. this woke up my roommate. he also found the situation hilarious. the girl embarked on the walk of shame as Garet and i (still in full hysterics) got our saturday morning drinks going. of course, neither Garet nor I would relate this story to another soul for many years. a gentelman never tells. curriously though the girl never did either. in fact, she came to sleep in my bed again a few days later and again after that. i guess that just goes to show how charming i am. get to know me! haha.
That's foul. I know who a girl who had a similar thing happen to her. In that circumstance, the fellow in question was not so lucky, and was not invited into her intimate company ever again. Perhaps in your case, you're terribly charming; then again, perhaps she was bored and between tricks. You really gotta wonder about a girl you can piss on and see again a few days later, as if all were hunky-dori.
I don't care what they say about you... I think you're alright.
Oggar wrote:I've pissed on floor, in cupboards, in the refridgerato, in the laundry hamper, in sinks, in garbage cans, on a stereo, on a keyboard. I've pissed myself in bed, on the couch (twicein 24hrs once), in chairs, on the floor, in my girlfriends bed. But I can top all of that because I once took a shit in my own laundry hamper, because I was living the rockstar/bachelor lifestyle it took me three days to figure out where the smell was coming from.
Oggar, I am glad to know that I am not alone in my affliction. I have at one time or another hit all of the areas you mentioned above. I must say though, I have never lost function in regard to #2. Cheers.
"Hell with these men, buzzards gotta eat, same as worms."
