The night before the flight

[Ano]

This story is a couple of months old, but still a funny one i think. It all started the night before i was to catch a flight overseas (for a vacation). I was at a friends house drinking vodka. It was after we finished that bottle that i got a call from another mate. Apparently he had a free ticket to an all you can drink boat cruise, as he couldnt go. Now obviously thats something no self respecting drunk can pass up, so i agreed. This is when i had to make a difficult decision. The boat was leaving in half an hour, and it was 45 minutes away (i had to go to the friends house to get the ticket first). Throwing caution to the wind, i decided to not only drive, but put the foot on the pedal. That was my first mistake.

On the way there, i was greeted by a blinding flash. It doesnt take a genious to figure out that i had just got caught by a speed camera, even in my slightly fuddled state. I was pissed off, but at least i was going to get drunk for free right?

I got to the port literally a minute before it was going to leave. There was no way i was going to miss the boat now, so i decided against looking for parking, and just parked the car on the dock, right next to the boat. Ah fuck it, the boat was awaiting, and i couldnt get two tickets in one night.

The boat cruise lasted 4 hours, and its fair to say i was drunk at the end of it. I tackled the situation quite well i thought. I ordered 4 drinks every time i got to the bar, sculled two, held the other two and walked back to the end of the line. Rinse, repeat, and welcome to blackout city.

The next few hours are pretty blank, but when i suddenly regained control of my senses, i was astounded to find that not only was i driving a car, but there was a passenger in tow.

Me: "What the fuck are you doing here? Where the fuck are we? Where the fuck are we going"?

Well apparently we had gone clubbing after the boat cruise, and i had promised this friend of mine a lift. Nevermind that the bastard lived literally an hour from my place, and i had to catch a flight. And there was the small matter of me driving with what had to be numerous times the blood alchohol limit running through my viens.

I finally dropped him home, and was making quick time back to my place. It was 6 AM, and i had to be at the airport at 8. I was just in time, so at least i would make my flight.

*splutter*

Oh shit! The car had just stopped in the middle of the freeway. That was the icing on the cake. I couldnt revive the thing, so i called a friend of mine. This guy was at the boat cruise too, so i figured he would still be awake. He picked up the phone and came to my rescue.

With both of us working, we got the car back in action. When he got back to his car, he said "Give me a call if you got any more troubles". Thats when i heard someone else in the car say "Please dont". It was his girlfriend, and i had interrupted him in the middle of a shag. (This i found out later).

The car however, wasnt going to let this be the end of the night. On the way home is stopped again. I gave up and called RACV, so they brought a tow truck and dragged my smoking car to my house. Apparently i had crashed the thing somewhere that night, that was the problem.

I made my flight.