St. Patrick's Day Story Dump

[Rowdydrunk79]

We all have 'em so let's keep them in one place. Here's my contribution:

Talking with Shmoo the other day I recalled a story from my first St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah. It was in 2001, just a few months after I turned 21, and the Saturday night was one of the most joyous experiences of my life. I could write story after story about it but for right now I stick to just this one.

I’d gone down with my roommate Ralph and next door neighbors Damien and Liz. About 10 o’clock we lost Ralph. Now he was the one who said, “If we get separated we’ll meet back at the car.” So after half an hour of the three of us scanning the crowd for him without any luck we decided to head back to the car. But when we got there, no Ralph - then it started to rain. Since Ralph had driven down we didn’t have the key to the car, fortunately for us however we’d parked in the lot of a warehouse in the shadow of the Talmadge bridge so we were able to seek shelter on one of the warehouse’s loading docks. After about twenty minutes are so the rain tapered off but we stayed on the loading dock waiting for Ralph.

Sudden out of now where a disheveled drunkard covered in green beads ran up to us. Swaying on unsteady knees he asked us in a deep, slow slur, “Do you know how to get to the shuttle bus to the Holiday Inn on I-95?” When we said no he disgustedly exclaimed, “Y’all ain’t no help!” Then he noticed the shinny burgundy Ford Ranger in front of us. He gasped, “Is this y’all’s truck?” After we replied that it wasn’t he said, “Good!” and without a split second’s hesitation jumped in the back of the truck and began jumping up and down yelling, “Whoo-hoo!!” at the top of his lungs. Me, Damien and Liz were literally falling over ourselves laughing. Then he tried to leap on top of the truck but fell down the front leaving a huge dent in the roof of the cab. Then everything was still and quiet for a couple of seconds before he abruptly popped up in front of the truck in a manner I can only compare to a muppet suddenly appearing on Sesame Street. He quickly ran around to the back of the truck and pointing his finger at us proclaimed. “If the police come, YOU’RE IMPLICATED!” Damien reassured him that we wouldn’t tell the cops anything and when he did the drunkard smiled broadly and got gleam in his eye showing that he was experiencing a level of faith in the basic goodness of humanity he probably hadn’t know seen before he found out about the Easter bunny. He fervently declared, “You guys are cool!” before running away, disappearing into the dark night from which he came.

[Plumber]

Story dump? Well, one St. Patrick's day I drank so much green beer that I pooped green. How's that for a St. Patrick's Day dump story?