Tullemore Don't

[insou]

It pains me to write this, Tullemore. After all, we have been there for each other for almost 5 years now. And while it hasn't always been monogamous (you know i occasionally still see tequila, although i wouldn't call it anything more than a heavy flirtation since i can only stand him when he is dressed in his margarita clothes. And I told you when we started dating that beer would always have a place in my life), it has pretty much always been fun.
But I have been noticing things about you lately that alarm me...
You seem to like making me write and send embarrassing emails. This is very rude for a beverage that is supposed to care for me - sort of the equivelant of the chick who leaves something important at your house the next morning when all you wanted was to be alone. Are you marking your territory by reminding me of how it was the night before? If so, I rather wish you would stop.
The loud singing and carouseing that always ensues after you have been at the party a while is still a good and happy thing for me. True, i do sometimes get a little too full of bravado and decide to wrestle a large member of the kitchen staff, but they all know me and it is all in good fun. I have yet to attack a stranger, and in that light you are much better for me than your surly american cousin, TJD. However, the way i seem to turn into a churlish and self pitying whiny crybaby after a few hours in your company is not a side of myself i am really enjoying. Is it wrong of me to blame you instead of myself? Perhaps so. Nevertheless, the correlation is to huge to be ignored. Too much time with you and i morph into a rather loud whirling dervish version of Eeyore.
Tullemore, I am breaking up with you. I was hoping that we could just open up the relationship, see other people, blah blah blah. But i fear this has become an abusive and frankly troubling coupling. I need some time with my friends (you remember Miller Lite, you have spent a lot of time together and gotten along pretty well in the past) and yeah, I would like to spend a little more time with Margarita before they leave for the summer (i never hang out with that guy in the winter time for some reason).
Don't be jealous, don't be sad. Frankly, I can't see what I am bringing to your table. Yes, it's impressive the way i can knock you back like an australian sailor with a hollow leg, but you have to admit, my behavior after such antics leaves a lot to be desired.
I'm not saying we can never see each other again (although at this point i am not leaning towards a reunion anytime soon) - let's just have an amicable parting of ways and move on. it's better for both of us this way.
And please, don't call me tonight. I have a quick date with Margarita after work and it is always so embarrassing for both of us when you crash our date and take over the whole evening.
Fare thee well. Until we meet again, Tullemore...
It wasn't you - it was how I acted when i was involved with you.

[Emma]

Hahaha! That was fun to read.
Eeyore! I love that.
No more Miller of any kind for me ever since those damn ridiculous "Beer. Grown up" commercials. Geez...I can't believe I ever drank that shit.
Clever, funny and entertaining post nonetheless!

[TheBigCasino]

It pains me to write this, Tullemore. After all, we have been there for each other for almost 5 years now. And while it hasn't always been monogamous (you know i occasionally still see tequila, although i wouldn't call it anything more than a heavy flirtation since i can only stand him when he is dressed in his margarita clothes. And I told you when we started dating that beer would always have a place in my life), it has pretty much always been fun.
But I have been noticing things about you lately that alarm me...
You seem to like making me write and send embarrassing emails. This is very rude for a beverage that is supposed to care for me - sort of the equivelant of the chick who leaves something important at your house the next morning when all you wanted was to be alone. Are you marking your territory by reminding me of how it was the night before? If so, I rather wish you would stop.
The loud singing and carouseing that always ensues after you have been at the party a while is still a good and happy thing for me. True, i do sometimes get a little too full of bravado and decide to wrestle a large member of the kitchen staff, but they all know me and it is all in good fun. I have yet to attack a stranger, and in that light you are much better for me than your surly american cousin, TJD. However, the way i seem to turn into a churlish and self pitying whiny crybaby after a few hours in your company is not a side of myself i am really enjoying. Is it wrong of me to blame you instead of myself? Perhaps so. Nevertheless, the correlation is to huge to be ignored. Too much time with you and i morph into a rather loud whirling dervish version of Eeyore.
Tullemore, I am breaking up with you. I was hoping that we could just open up the relationship, see other people, blah blah blah. But i fear this has become an abusive and frankly troubling coupling. I need some time with my friends (you remember Miller Lite, you have spent a lot of time together and gotten along pretty well in the past) and yeah, I would like to spend a little more time with Margarita before they leave for the summer (i never hang out with that guy in the winter time for some reason).
Don't be jealous, don't be sad. Frankly, I can't see what I am bringing to your table. Yes, it's impressive the way i can knock you back like an australian sailor with a hollow leg, but you have to admit, my behavior after such antics leaves a lot to be desired.
I'm not saying we can never see each other again (although at this point i am not leaning towards a reunion anytime soon) - let's just have an amicable parting of ways and move on. it's better for both of us this way.
And please, don't call me tonight. I have a quick date with Margarita after work and it is always so embarrassing for both of us when you crash our date and take over the whole evening.
Fare thee well. Until we meet again, Tullemore...
It wasn't you - it was how I acted when i was involved with you.

That was really good, but in thinking about the Dew, it's something you have to work with. Tullemore worked it's way up from the bastard cousin of Jameson's, to the fully capable drink when the Jameson's was gone. Tullemore has gotten me home on more nights when jameson's left me sleeping in a cab. When I DD DJF, it's Tullemore talking, and it's those DD's that I love the most, Don't leave her, challenge her, drink Tullemoire and nothing else, never let a drink run you off, you are a drunkard, drinks fear you.

[happydrunk]

It pains me to write this, Tullemore. After all, we have been there for each other for almost 5 years now. And while it hasn't always been monogamous (you know i occasionally still see tequila, although i wouldn't call it anything more than a heavy flirtation since i can only stand him when he is dressed in his margarita clothes. And I told you when we started dating that beer would always have a place in my life), it has pretty much always been fun.
But I have been noticing things about you lately that alarm me...
You seem to like making me write and send embarrassing emails. This is very rude for a beverage that is supposed to care for me - sort of the equivelant of the chick who leaves something important at your house the next morning when all you wanted was to be alone. Are you marking your territory by reminding me of how it was the night before? If so, I rather wish you would stop.
The loud singing and carouseing that always ensues after you have been at the party a while is still a good and happy thing for me. True, i do sometimes get a little too full of bravado and decide to wrestle a large member of the kitchen staff, but they all know me and it is all in good fun. I have yet to attack a stranger, and in that light you are much better for me than your surly american cousin, TJD. However, the way i seem to turn into a churlish and self pitying whiny crybaby after a few hours in your company is not a side of myself i am really enjoying. Is it wrong of me to blame you instead of myself? Perhaps so. Nevertheless, the correlation is to huge to be ignored. Too much time with you and i morph into a rather loud whirling dervish version of Eeyore.
Tullemore, I am breaking up with you. I was hoping that we could just open up the relationship, see other people, blah blah blah. But i fear this has become an abusive and frankly troubling coupling. I need some time with my friends (you remember Miller Lite, you have spent a lot of time together and gotten along pretty well in the past) and yeah, I would like to spend a little more time with Margarita before they leave for the summer (i never hang out with that guy in the winter time for some reason).
Don't be jealous, don't be sad. Frankly, I can't see what I am bringing to your table. Yes, it's impressive the way i can knock you back like an australian sailor with a hollow leg, but you have to admit, my behavior after such antics leaves a lot to be desired.
I'm not saying we can never see each other again (although at this point i am not leaning towards a reunion anytime soon) - let's just have an amicable parting of ways and move on. it's better for both of us this way.
And please, don't call me tonight. I have a quick date with Margarita after work and it is always so embarrassing for both of us when you crash our date and take over the whole evening.
Fare thee well. Until we meet again, Tullemore...
It wasn't you - it was how I acted when i was involved with you.

That was really good, but in thinking about the Dew, it's something you have to work with. Tullemore worked it's way up from the bastard cousin of Jameson's, to the fully capable drink when the Jameson's was gone. Tullemore has gotten me home on more nights when jameson's left me sleeping in a cab. When I DD DJF, it's Tullemore talking, and it's those DD's that I love the most, Don't leave her, challenge her, drink Tullemoire and nothing else, never let a drink run you off, you are a drunkard, drinks fear you.

you guys are beautiful ~wipes tear

[MeanOldLady]

i hope you don't mind then... i'm banging your ex.