Weekend of Triumph Pt 1: Friday

[liquor&poker]

I wasn't going to catalogue the events of this weekend until the Russians show up but Friday and Saturday were so awesome I have to share them.

Friday night we went to a party at a dude's house in New Port Richey. I picked up a handle of Ezra Brooks for about 25$ which was sweet. We got there before most of the others but that's ok because it allows me to do some uninterrupted drinking before the thing gets kicked off.

Let me explain something. I got seriously confused by this handle I was drinking out of. It forced me to drink way too fast and decidedly too much. I remember thinking, "I'm only THIS far past the neck??" I realized my error when my wife said to me, "Don't you think you should slow down?" She was right but I pulled through it.

There were these two girls in the computer room looking at Myspace and they had a few of those little bitty bottles of liquor (like 2 shots a piece or whatever) and my interest was piqued because my four main interests are booze, girls, computers, and darkened rooms. So I went to check it out. Anyway, they were daring eachother to drink their shot thingies and I noticed one of them was WT101 so I said to the girl, "Only drink half of that one cuz I want the other half." So they both drank half their thingy and were wincing and gasping and I asked the other girl what she had. It was Gibley's Gin. I said, "Gin is for bitches." She said, "Prove it." and handed me her bottle. I was like, "Ok but if I drink Gin, I have to chase it with something." So I shot the Gin and then took down the Bourbon and then I go, "Deeeeelicious".

My wife and I went into this one room and there were these two girls and a guy talking so we went and joined them. They were listening to music and that Vanilla Ice song came on and the one girl was mouthing the lyrics so I started rapping it too. This is when I realized how drunk I was. My brain couldn't keep up with Ice Ice Baby.

Oh snap...and then later in the kitchen my wife holds up the bottle of Wild Turkey that this girl bought me cuz she owed me and it was gone past the neck! WTF I didn't break the seal on that fucker.

Can you imagine you see a bottle of Whiskey with a virgin seal and you just decide, "Hell this is probably here for me" and peel the foil and drink some of it? What kind of cocksucker does that? Didn't even seek out the owner. And to top it off, it was sitting next to my already decimated handle of Ezra. Why not drink out of that? Why BREAK MY FUCKING SEAL??

So I tell the wife, "Put them both in the car. Now. And lock it."
Later we found out that these three thugish guys probably did it because they were spotted carrying Koty's bottle of Jaeger when they left. Fucking kids. No honor.

All in all, I got away with the rest of the WT, Ezra, I smacked about 1,000 girls asses and danced with some too. I also smoked a cigarette. It was a load of fun but we had to go at like 11. cuz we had to attend a wedding the next day.