A Fistful of Dollars

[steved2112]

Apologies if I've already posted this one elsewhere...


I had been out partying beyond my threshold, and awoke on a good friend's couch. It was 11, and I needed to be at the bank by noon, which was an hour away.

The hangover was relentless, and the drive was an exercise in endurance. I was too focused on my mission to give in to the urge to pull over and find something to shoot myself with. At the bridge I paid the $2 toll with a 10, and threw the change into the passenger seat. This is important for later.

I made it into the bank parking lot at 12:03. Gone were my hopes of achieving my mission. And with them my resolve to not barf.

My apartment was around the corner. I decided I'd come too far to hurl in a bank parking lot. So I drove most recklessly to my apartment. Entered the parking lot accelerating for my space, and threw the vehicle into park. It lurched back and forth against the gears as I yanked the keys from the ignition. I grabbed the change in a wad, and threw the door open. That was the moment my stomach finally heaved, and as I noticed the new neighbors' car next to mine, I spewed green bile all over the ground.

Th new neighbors were moving in at that moment, so their introduction to me was a disheveled drunk hurtling into a parking space, then vomiting out the driver's door while clutching a wad of loose bills.

We never really hit it off...

[Fast Cast]

Welcome...BLLLEEEEECH!!!...I'm Steve...nice car!

Great story.

[thirsty4beer]

"*Gasp* Nigel, look at that wretched Bum we have moved in beside!"

Nigel to self, "Brilliant. now i have someone i can actually relate to you stuck up old bitch!"

[waahoohah]

I've met a new landlord in much the same way, and no, we never became very chummy either. something about checking out a new place by seeing where you can hurl and where you can't just seems to turn the new landlord against you.