Yesterday I was drunk enough to fall head first into a shelf. Passed out on the floor some and woke up with DVDs and broken galss scattered everywhere. Some small wounds on my balding forehead are a nice reminder of this endeavor.
Maybe my drunken innerself knew how much I enjoy fixing stuff. But not on hungover saturdays stupid!
Drunkard Injuries
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- Lush City
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Re: So you fell down, let's hear about it...
These are some serious stories here.
"Comedy is pain at someone else's expense." -- W.C. Fields.
"Comedy is pain at someone else's expense." -- W.C. Fields.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
- Mr. Viking
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
well, I had to take a week off work due to falling down stairs (I remember being near stairs) and spraining my ankle quite severely. Naturally I attempted to keep dancing (there are expectations to be fulfilled) and fell multiple more times. Culminated in my spending a lot of last week in bed. I was back in the same late night bar this weekend, bolstered by hiking boots and dancing on one leg. Adversity breeds creativity
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Re: So you fell down, let's hear about it...
I wasn't the one that fell, but I was the one who was drunk.
Super Bowl Sunday 4 years ago I was at my buddy's party. I had just done 2 shots of Jameson on top of all the other drinks I had during the day when I got the call. My wife was pregnant and out getting groceries with her sister. She somehow managed to fall UP the porch steps, which started some Braxton-Hicks contractions. It being her first pregnancy she thought the kid was coming so they rushed to the hospital. I got a ride there and because she was crying and I was drunk they took me out of the room several times to ask if I had pushed her down the stairs. She told them not to worry, if I had pushed her down the stairs she would have shot me.
Super Bowl Sunday 4 years ago I was at my buddy's party. I had just done 2 shots of Jameson on top of all the other drinks I had during the day when I got the call. My wife was pregnant and out getting groceries with her sister. She somehow managed to fall UP the porch steps, which started some Braxton-Hicks contractions. It being her first pregnancy she thought the kid was coming so they rushed to the hospital. I got a ride there and because she was crying and I was drunk they took me out of the room several times to ask if I had pushed her down the stairs. She told them not to worry, if I had pushed her down the stairs she would have shot me.
Bourbon is my blood.
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"Gren Label will rock on the show for me." bot rehan507
"women want to better express themselves. Dress up as their own performance this will be a lack of confidence." bot clshoo348
select backwards to God, his safekeeping a weapon homeopathy bold deed, president each opposite's cervix. bot klmn619
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: So you fell down, let's hear about it...
fall down go boom, poo poo undies
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
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Re: So you fell down, let's hear about it...
Little kids are so out of control. That's all they do is fall down. I knocked myself out when I was around 4 or 5.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
Re: So you fell down, let's hear about it...
Friend got a batch of homemade wine done, I believe he ranks success of the process by how many broken bones he will have after the bender (he broke his arm in the bathroom last time).
Drank an considerable amount of the stuff myself. Woke up with my underwear inside-out from the couch with cut on my back (how what why) at afternoon and everything tastes of the strange dry-strawberry flavor. I had sock on my left leg and just a shoe on the right.
Well, still got half a liter or so of the stuff left, should keep me steady and safe from the shakes.
On to the breach now, known as likely little less eventful work week.
Drank an considerable amount of the stuff myself. Woke up with my underwear inside-out from the couch with cut on my back (how what why) at afternoon and everything tastes of the strange dry-strawberry flavor. I had sock on my left leg and just a shoe on the right.
Well, still got half a liter or so of the stuff left, should keep me steady and safe from the shakes.
On to the breach now, known as likely little less eventful work week.
Re: So you fell down, let's hear about it...
So a few weeks ago I had a few too many lol..Stumbled into a desk and had a whale of a bruise for days...pretty big one
Last edited by speed3914 on Thu Oct 01, 2015 6:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
- mistah willies
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Re: So you fell down, let's hear about it...
Today,
Indoor air quality (IAQ) assessment
Yup, a bit fuzzy, as was I
But me?
Got a loooong slice form a rusty nail.
Lady says, "You need a proper tetanuts shot!"
I said,
"i have the proper shots at home. I'm proper like that."
Now drinking to fight of any possible proepr inflection
Indoor air quality (IAQ) assessment
Yup, a bit fuzzy, as was I
But me?
Got a loooong slice form a rusty nail.
Lady says, "You need a proper tetanuts shot!"
I said,
"i have the proper shots at home. I'm proper like that."
Now drinking to fight of any possible proepr inflection
- Lush City
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Re: So you fell down, let's hear about it...
Well, everyone bangs their bare foot on a railing and splits their skin down to the muscle layer requiring heavy bandaging and bleeding control. I'm talking about huge prat falls likely to take anyone's life except for the truly initiated. Anything less is also welcome. Whahoohaa!
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
Re: drinking injuries...
May have been "overserved" a bit a few weeks ago, and stumbled into my computer desk. A nice 18" long gash down my lower back lol was my reward. Bruises were epic! Never saw anything like them. At least now I have a reference point lol
- peetie44
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Re: drinking injuries...
You're gonna fit right in here, speedy.speed3914 wrote:May have been "overserved" a bit a few weeks ago, and stumbled into my computer desk. A nice 18" long gash down my lower back lol was my reward. Bruises were epic! Never saw anything like them. At least now I have a reference point lol
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
Re: drinking injuries...
peetie44 wrote:You're gonna fit right in here, speedy.speed3914 wrote:May have been "overserved" a bit a few weeks ago, and stumbled into my computer desk. A nice 18" long gash down my lower back lol was my reward. Bruises were epic! Never saw anything like them. At least now I have a reference point lol
Wow I feel so proud! "wipes tear from corner of eye" Glad to be here :D
- mistah willies
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Re: drinking injuries...
peetie44 wrote:
You're gonna fit right in here, speedy.
Hehehe
That's what...
nah, too easy
Welcome speedster Drink a lot and post
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- Inebriate Savant
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Re: drinking injuries...
I have a new one. idk all the details but, it went something like this.
I was really wanting some vodka last week so i got some i remember telling my friend your about to see someone this vodka the fastest you have ever seen in your life. the next thing i know I wake up in my room on top of a broken table with a horrible gash in the back of my ear.
I was really wanting some vodka last week so i got some i remember telling my friend your about to see someone this vodka the fastest you have ever seen in your life. the next thing i know I wake up in my room on top of a broken table with a horrible gash in the back of my ear.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." hunter s. thompson god rest his soul