Drunkard Injuries

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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beerkegbilly
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by beerkegbilly » Sun Jan 30, 2011 5:01 pm

I woke up with sprained ankle knee fingers. bite marks lipstick marks around bite marks does that count
skinned knuckles to many drunk rowdy nights USMC and after.

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JimLahey
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by JimLahey » Sun Apr 03, 2011 8:15 pm

After about 12 whiskeys at a local dive I thought it was a good idea to hang upside down from a soccer goal post. So far so good. Then I decided to do it with only one leg. Slipped down and crashed on my head/shoulder, woke up with a really wicked bruise and a headache.

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Surreal
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Surreal » Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:10 pm

Mayhem wrote:Yeah, lots, but the worst one was........

The very tailend of Invasion III, when only two remained, Ruiner and Crystal. Through drunkard time-keeping Crystal missed her flight and needed to stay an extra day, and Ruiner wasn't going to be leaving until the next day, so they hung out at my place for the evening. It was the first time all Invasion that I didn't have to ferry folks back and forth to places, so I gave myself opportunity to drink heavily, Beer and OW 107, I think, among other things. The night wore on, and the Wander Twins were on the computer, looking at Youtube stuff, and I was drinking heavily, as I already stated. After a bit I toddled to my bedroom to have a bit of a lie-down, and I tripped over my size 12 feet. I stumbled, and promptly fell with full force on my nightstand. I gurgled something like "help" but those two had the computer volume high and they were also deafened by the love that was unhatching, so no one heard me. I recall that I laid on the floor, looking up, and saying to myself "this is nice". After a minute or an hour, probably more an hour, I decided to get up and try to get in to bed. While I was attempting this difficult task I realized the pain in my side.
Long story short is that I broke two ribs, and those two are married with a kid now.
I think you have a worse story. Quit holding back.
fuck em man, it ain't easy walkin the righteous path.
- Hoss

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Two Hearted
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Two Hearted » Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:20 pm

Sissies, the bunch of ya.
The cabin sits shut-down, cold-frozen and empty, dead mice in the traps, waiting for me to drink alone there in the dark.
--Smatter

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Surreal
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Surreal » Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:26 pm

She's right. I seen her do a triple lindy out the backside of a yooper campfire into a stand of hemlock and she didn't even bat an eye.

The duck? well, he didn't do so well..... kinda cranky.
fuck em man, it ain't easy walkin the righteous path.
- Hoss

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Two Hearted » Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:17 pm

Surreal wrote:She's right. I seen her do a triple lindy out the backside of a yooper campfire into a stand of hemlock and she didn't even bat an eye.

The duck? well, he didn't do so well..... kinda cranky.

The Cranky Neck?!
Yeah the ducks didn't do so well. (soooo tasty though!)

Me? Nope, at least of last weekend, I didn't do so well either. Bonfire goodness. Although it was much better than the cranky-neck. No batting eyes here.

Just don't tell me of your drunken "scratches", everyone.
Don't make me break out my injuries.
The cabin sits shut-down, cold-frozen and empty, dead mice in the traps, waiting for me to drink alone there in the dark.
--Smatter

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beerkegbilly
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by beerkegbilly » Tue May 10, 2011 7:08 pm

Last week I burn my eye taking my dog out to piss my smoke fell out of my mouth hit my leash and landed in my eye burning my eyelashes off and a little burn on the corner of the eye I dog war not hurt in the almost blinding of beerkegbilly

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DeeboCools
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by DeeboCools » Fri May 20, 2011 1:46 pm

beerkegbilly wrote:Last week I burn my eye taking my dog out to piss my smoke fell out of my mouth hit my leash and landed in my eye burning my eyelashes off and a little burn on the corner of the eye I dog war not hurt in the almost blinding of beerkegbilly
hilarious. Also, as a smoker remember not to smoke while sleepy. My dad's almost burned the house down twice, and he wasn't even loaded
"S0briety diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes." -William James

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eli
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by eli » Sun May 29, 2011 6:50 pm

Not really an injury......

Middle of January, woke up one Sunday morning, laying in the middle of ditch filled with water with an empty Bulleit bottle in my coat pocket. Nice case of pneumonia from that little venture.
Nebulous metaphorical weapons are fine and dandy objects for inclusion in a weekly dose of morality tales, but if you want a "rod and staff" that will provide you with genuine comfort, I'd recommend a 1911.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Miklo » Wed Jun 15, 2011 4:24 pm

worst injury to date, i still fucking hurt. after about 2 and 1/2 1.5 ltr bottles of wine i thought i could ride my friends dirt bike. i popped a wheelie and flew down the street, when i reached the corner i took it to fast/slipped on some dirt on the asphalt. slid the bike and rolled down the street. given the circumstances it could have been alot worse, but i ended up with a little road rash on both hands, a couple on my back, and on my knee. i got a sore back and sore leg. i will be drinking the pain away as soon as i get home, if i can hold my glass, because my dumb ass still came into work today. this shit hurts like a mother fucker.
“And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.”
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by mcphargus » Sun Jun 26, 2011 3:37 pm

Something about a quiet chain bar makes me happy. They generally aren't used to a stupid loud drunk at Ruby Tuesdays in my neighborhood. Toward the end of the evening, we were loud enough to be asked to leave, which lead to a peaceful demonstration and lots of screaming about how the US judicial system has roundly rejected prior restraint. To which end, we were permitted to finish our beer/gin/whiskey before leaving.

I'm lighting a cigarette when I notice the curb wasn't where I left it when I came in. The pavement welcomed my face with a pebbly smile. My cigarette ran for cover. Upon impact, my first priority was to find the cigarette. Already being on the ground, I rolled to the cigarette and rescued her with my teeth.

My loyal cohort turned as I shakily rose and with the greatest concern, queried: "Did I just fuckin' miss that?!"
Do what you want with the girl, but leave the monkey alone.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by DeeboCools » Wed Jun 29, 2011 5:47 pm

mcphargus wrote:Something about a quiet chain bar makes me happy. They generally aren't used to a stupid loud drunk at Ruby Tuesdays in my neighborhood. Toward the end of the evening, we were loud enough to be asked to leave, which lead to a peaceful demonstration and lots of screaming about how the US judicial system has roundly rejected prior restraint. To which end, we were permitted to finish our beer/gin/whiskey before leaving.

I'm lighting a cigarette when I notice the curb wasn't where I left it when I came in. The pavement welcomed my face with a pebbly smile. My cigarette ran for cover. Upon impact, my first priority was to find the cigarette. Already being on the ground, I rolled to the cigarette and rescued her with my teeth.

My loyal cohort turned as I shakily rose and with the greatest concern, queried: "Did I just fuckin' miss that?!"
I lol'd.
"S0briety diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes." -William James

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Oggar » Wed Jul 13, 2011 3:29 pm

Missing half a tooth from MassCon, no idea what happened to it. Perhaps trying to open a bottle but, who knows? Good times.
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott

RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by WolfOfTheWest » Tue Jul 26, 2011 4:36 pm

Too many to count. A short list of the best?

1: Jumped off a bridge into a river. I didn't know the river was only 3 feet deep, and I didn't know the spot where I landed had an upturned shopping cart wedged in the mud at the bottom. Hello 5 broken ribs. PS, didn't go to hospital for 2 days because I thought it was just the hangover. My chest is now mishapen and half-retarded.

2: At 13 years old I drank 12 shots of Bacardi rum and had to be locked outside the house because I was such a problem. Needed to pee, tried to steady myself on the wood shed while doing my business, hand slips, face makes contact with corner of shed. Hello insanely deep and disfiguring scar across forehead.

3: Climb through barbed wire fence on way home from bar, slice arm open from elbow to wrist. Need 72 stitches when I get to hospital the next day. Jacket I was wearing the night before is in mint condition. Feel like Jesus for the rest of the week.

4: Fall down a flight of oak stairs backwards. Stay conscious, fall asleep in friend's mother's bed,wake up in a pool of my own blood. Puke in bidet, mistaking it for a toilet. Make up some excuse and leave the house as it is. Never see said friend again.
"My ambition is handicapped by laziness" — Charles Bukowski

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by DeeboCools » Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:20 pm

Phenom wrote: 2: At 13 years old I drank 12 shots of Bacardi rum and had to be locked outside the house because I was such a problem. Needed to pee, tried to steady myself on the wood shed while doing my business, hand slips, face makes contact with corner of shed. Hello insanely deep and disfiguring scar across forehead.
HA HA! You were piss drunk at 13 years old and your parents just said "Go out and play!" That's some good shit.
"S0briety diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes." -William James

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