Drunkard Injuries

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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Mr. Viking
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Mr. Viking »

I had some grazing on my left arm. Thought I had fallen, then remember I was wrestling with a team mate so a barmaid could cut his hair. Exposed brick is pretty but not practical
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brandonman
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

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Mr. Viking wrote: so a barmaid could cut his hair.
I could be mis reading since I'm awake after only 3 hours of sleep, on my phone, but to me... this demands the story!
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ThirstyDrunk
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

givemesomepils wrote: rolled over right into the fire.
Oh man, one time I was spending the weekend with my hillbilly friends down in Pine Gap, they live in a trailer that teeters on the side of the holler and have a big week long party every year. They have a giant bonfire that they cook on all week long. It's late into the evening of the second night, I'm blitzed, poking the fire with a stick, when the benevolent matron of the trailer tells me "Don't you lose that stick in the fire that's my cookin stick". Well sure enough after awhile I lose the stick in the fire. So I get out of my lawn chair to retrieve said stick and fall fist first into the center coals. Nobody was undrunk enough to notice so I grabbed the stick, threw it on the ground and sat back in my chair and stuck my hand in the cooler full of ice.
Time travel to the next morning, I wake up and my hand is freezing and throbbing. I pull it out of the cooler and there is no skin on my hand from the top knuckle down. Everyone seemed more concerned about it than I did, I'll just say thank dog for moonshine, nature's best wound disinfectant and full body anesthetic. the skin grew back after a couple months.
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brandonman
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by brandonman »

Something tells me that in precisely three weeks, I'm going to be reporting back to you guys with some sort of interesting tale, that I imagine will result in injury. Might warrant its own thread. This occassion will mark a serious boozing landmark for me, and my #1 drinking buddy with that immortal Irish blood that can pack away booze will be taking me out. His girlfriend will be DD'ing. I have some Irish blood, and the past year, I've been making sure that the Irish drinking blood comes out for this showing. and any showing after.
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" -Tom Waits

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oettinger
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by oettinger »

Thirsticus wrote:
givemesomepils wrote: rolled over right into the fire.
Oh man, one time I was spending the weekend with my hillbilly friends down in Pine Gap, they live in a trailer that teeters on the side of the holler and have a big week long party every year. They have a giant bonfire that they cook on all week long. It's late into the evening of the second night, I'm blitzed, poking the fire with a stick, when the benevolent matron of the trailer tells me "Don't you lose that stick in the fire that's my cookin stick". Well sure enough after awhile I lose the stick in the fire. So I get out of my lawn chair to retrieve said stick and fall fist first into the center coals. Nobody was undrunk enough to notice so I grabbed the stick, threw it on the ground and sat back in my chair and stuck my hand in the cooler full of ice.
Time travel to the next morning, I wake up and my hand is freezing and throbbing. I pull it out of the cooler and there is no skin on my hand from the top knuckle down. Everyone seemed more concerned about it than I did, I'll just say thank dog for moonshine, nature's best wound disinfectant and full body anesthetic. the skin grew back after a couple months.
Drunks and fire, a fantastic yet (often self-) destructive combination
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Jordo!
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by Jordo! »

Actually, I do have two stupid drinking injuries I completely forgot about.

One was that I couldn't seem to crack a knuckle on one of my fingers, so after pulling on it repeatedly, I just began whacking the hell out of it, indiscriminately, on a metal pole or fence or something, hoping to loosen it up (?). Dislocated the shit out of it; excruciating pain the next day. Happy ending tho: Got lots of percocet for my troubles.

The other was ultra-mega-clutzy. In a dance club, somehow managed to twist my whole foot (?) walking up to ask the dj to play something. Limped along drunkenly, not thinking much on it. Next day, swollen purple, surely something in there broken.

Wrapped it up, put on my steel toed kicker boots, and went to see GWAR (RIP Dave Brockie) two days later as planned. My poor booted foot was trod upon in the mass of my fellow blood and alien goo stained maniacs. Owie. Limped home, covered in the usual mess that is spewed by GWAR cheerfully.

These are both like over a decade ago... live and learn.

Otherwise, I'm like a slinky when drunk. Or maybe a parkour dude. I zig, I zag, I flop, but I pop back up.
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oettinger
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by oettinger »

The russian buddy had this stupid going crazy moments when he suddenly punched you out of nowhere when drunk. He once hit me blindsided and might have given me a concussion. All I know is that the next day I wasn`t the usual hungover but was throwing up odd amounts of vomit countless times all day to go along with a brutal headache. He blamed my substantial consumption of alcohol of course
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givemesomepils
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by givemesomepils »

Jordo! wrote:I just began whacking the hell out of it, indiscriminately, on a metal pole or fence or something, hoping to loosen it up (?). Dislocated the shit out of it; excruciating pain the next day. Happy ending tho: Got lots of percocet for my troubles.
ah, lol I can see this happening it is very unsatisfying to not have a knuckle pop add that to being really drunk and this is what you get, percocet is a nice score I never get anything better than loricets.
oettinger wrote:The russian buddy had this stupid going crazy moments when he suddenly punched you out of nowhere when drunk.
Idk if I could be friends with someone that does that, if I was it would end with us fighting. I have only been in 2 fights in the last decade, but my temper is to bad to not swing from my reflexes.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." hunter s. thompson god rest his soul

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oettinger
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by oettinger »

givemesomepils wrote:
oettinger wrote:The russian buddy had this stupid going crazy moments when he suddenly punched you out of nowhere when drunk.
Idk if I could be friends with someone that does that, if I was it would end with us fighting. I have only been in 2 fights in the last decade, but my temper is to bad to not swing from my reflexes.
I`m a social worker for a reason (albeit "inactive"), we can take a beating plus then some and don`t care for hells sake. I just feel pity for the lost souls needing this kind of action to let their inner demons out. And yes there are some folks who better not drink. They give MDMers a bad rep
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by Palinka (RIP) »

oettinger wrote:I`m..."inactive"
Every six hours, for six hours. The rest of the time is spent drinking mixtures of Bloody Marys, whisky and vodka and lemon (without changing or cleaning the drinking vessel).

Unconscious people can take quite a beating (and the occasional stabbing from Constantin).
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by oldsmartskunk »

Palinka wrote:
oettinger wrote:I`m..."inactive"
Every six hours, for six hours. The rest of the time is spent drinking mixtures of Bloody Marys, whisky and vodka and lemon (without changing or cleaning the drinking vessel).

Unconscious people can take quite a beating (and the occasional stabbing from Constantin).
He is a German. They do it on a boring Monday evening.

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oettinger
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by oettinger »

Palinka wrote:without changing or cleaning the drinking vessel
If there is a safe way to dodge this bullet please enlighten me.
I own a coffee cup and a drinking cup, everything else is needles furniture catching dust
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by NYDingbat »

Went out to Happy Hour with a coupla broads from High School on Friday. I ate all of 2 wings and drank many pints of Stoli O and club. I've got bruises on my head, my back and I'm pretty sure I broke a toe. Mother of pearl - I wasn't this beat up at the Con in Denver in '08! And I did break a toe there - and had a cut on it that didn't heal for 6 months - had to wear flip flops that whole winter - wasn't even a little happy about that.
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by Mr. Viking »

I have a scar just behind my hairline from when I launched myself towards a dancefloor and hit the ceiling. Who the fuck puts a ceiling indoors anyway?
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best

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oettinger
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Re: drinking injuries...

Post by oettinger »

Mr. Viking wrote:I have a scar just behind my hairline from when I launched myself towards a dancefloor and hit the ceiling. Who the fuck puts a ceiling indoors anyway?
And doors right, you want to be outside anyway, why the stupid obstacle course?

Also, shower curtains are not build to hang on to while drunk. I once took a drunken shower when all of a sudden the russian buddy... wait, this story is NSFW /In the end the toilet lid was broken / story
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