Drunkard Injuries

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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Weez
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Weez » Tue Aug 09, 2011 6:38 pm

Jumped on a fourwheeler that coudlnt idle or else it would die. Drunk on crown and waters. An automatic so I pinned it....not used to not shifting up/down through the gear.

Little did I not remember, there were no breaks. Come into a gradual turn but can't get er' slowed down; can't gear down, can't use breaks.

smash into a tree...fly about 20 feet over the handlebars down the firt road.

jump up to rescue my friends bike, which was on its side and draining fluids. I tip it over and its still running...all is good!

until I walk around the other side....wheel is comeplety off and laying on the ground, upporting the axle....so much for that quad.

when the boys come runnin and asked what happened, a sinple "hit a tree bud" is my answer.

time to burn it...load the wheeler into the back of a truck and blow it up in an abandoned area.

Overall a successful evening...injuries? none....but mighty soar lemme tell ya
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JimLahey
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by JimLahey » Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:44 pm

Phenom wrote:Too many to count. A short list of the best?

1: Jumped off a bridge into a river. I didn't know the river was only 3 feet deep, and I didn't know the spot where I landed had an upturned shopping cart wedged in the mud at the bottom. Hello 5 broken ribs. PS, didn't go to hospital for 2 days because I thought it was just the hangover. My chest is now mishapen and half-retarded.

2: At 13 years old I drank 12 shots of Bacardi rum and had to be locked outside the house because I was such a problem. Needed to pee, tried to steady myself on the wood shed while doing my business, hand slips, face makes contact with corner of shed. Hello insanely deep and disfiguring scar across forehead.

3: Climb through barbed wire fence on way home from bar, slice arm open from elbow to wrist. Need 72 stitches when I get to hospital the next day. Jacket I was wearing the night before is in mint condition. Feel like Jesus for the rest of the week.

4: Fall down a flight of oak stairs backwards. Stay conscious, fall asleep in friend's mother's bed,wake up in a pool of my own blood. Puke in bidet, mistaking it for a toilet. Make up some excuse and leave the house as it is. Never see said friend again.
This is incredible, hahaha!

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WolfOfTheWest
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by WolfOfTheWest » Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:14 pm

JimLahey wrote:
Phenom wrote:Too many to count. A short list of the best?

1: Jumped off a bridge into a river. I didn't know the river was only 3 feet deep, and I didn't know the spot where I landed had an upturned shopping cart wedged in the mud at the bottom. Hello 5 broken ribs. PS, didn't go to hospital for 2 days because I thought it was just the hangover. My chest is now mishapen and half-retarded.

2: At 13 years old I drank 12 shots of Bacardi rum and had to be locked outside the house because I was such a problem. Needed to pee, tried to steady myself on the wood shed while doing my business, hand slips, face makes contact with corner of shed. Hello insanely deep and disfiguring scar across forehead.

3: Climb through barbed wire fence on way home from bar, slice arm open from elbow to wrist. Need 72 stitches when I get to hospital the next day. Jacket I was wearing the night before is in mint condition. Feel like Jesus for the rest of the week.

4: Fall down a flight of oak stairs backwards. Stay conscious, fall asleep in friend's mother's bed,wake up in a pool of my own blood. Puke in bidet, mistaking it for a toilet. Make up some excuse and leave the house as it is. Never see said friend again.

This is incredible, hahaha!

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Bourbon
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Bourbon » Tue Nov 08, 2011 8:45 pm

Figure ill chime in here.

I was an American soldier stationed in The Netherlands a couple years ago. One of my friends came to visit. During his visit, we decide to take the train to Amsterdam. Usually a fairly mundane 3 hour train ride, this time the car we happened to pick was filled with some mixed fraternity/sorority. Overhearing us speaking English, a couple of the members start chatting with us, and soon ask. "Oh you're American, you can chug beer?" Never being one to.back down from a challenge, we say yes, and of course go on to getting plowed on the train.

When my buddy and I finally reach our stop, we part ways with the college students and get off. In my drunken stumbling, I manage to fall off the stairs heading down the train platform, and severely sprain my ankle. No big deal while I'm drunk, I say, and we power through that. My friend and I end up walking down the street then find a hotel, and decide to go party for the night. In our search for a bar (not really too difficult a task, really), we come across a place giving free shots of that magical blackout juice, jagermeister. Had a couple shots, and predictably proceed to black out. Next thing I remember, we're completely lost in the city of Amsterdam, somehow crossed the Amstel River, and we can not find a bridge to get back on the south side and I'm walking with a fairly serious limp. I look down, and my ankle is about the size of a softball. I'm starting to undrunk back up, at least enough to start feeling pain again, and this is not good. We end up walking about 3 more hours, attempting to flag down cars, including cops, but can't get any help, before we finally find something recognizable, and get back to the hotel somewhere around 8:00am. The next morning, I am in pretty intense pain, and after taking a look on Google maps, we deduce our path, and estimate we walked somewhere near 12 miles. My ankle has never been the same, but it was quite a night, or at least what I remembe

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Resident Asshole » Thu Nov 17, 2011 12:28 pm

Not much to speak of. I have bruises and cuts on a regular basis but I've never really hurt myself badly while drunk. I did however knock my friend's tooth out while we were barehands boxing while drunk. Broke another friend's ribs doing the same thing. I'm not really too easy to hurt, although I did get jumped by two guys on Super Bowl Sunday last year and they cut me above my eye bad enough that I had to go to the hospital.

They had to go to the hospital also ;-)
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zfish
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by zfish » Sat Dec 10, 2011 7:21 pm

Specialists love me. I go to one for my knees. One for my feet. My regular Dr just writes me scripts for pain pills.

I tell them it's my physically demanding job. That's partially true. i just don't tell them about the bone crushing falls I've taken while drunk. That would be unprofessional of me.
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by jubjub » Sat Dec 31, 2011 10:58 am

see that beam i'm swinging from in my picture? i don't swing from it anymore. after 2 bottles of wine my hands slipped and i did a forward roll into the coffee table. smacked my face against the corner of the table and got a black eye. lucky i didn't lose any teeth.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Wingman » Sat Dec 31, 2011 11:23 pm

jubjub wrote:see that beam i'm swinging from in my picture? i don't swing from it anymore. after 2 bottles of wine my hands slipped and i did a forward roll into the coffee table. smacked my face against the corner of the table and got a black eye. lucky i didn't lose any teeth.
got a picture of me somewhere after about 3 bottles of wine in capetown, hanging from a beam. also, see my sig.
Stupid should hurt.

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jubjub
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by jubjub » Sun Jan 01, 2012 1:15 am

if you ever find that photo, post it. would love to see it.

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John Lennon
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by John Lennon » Sun Jun 03, 2012 4:09 pm

After a particularly heavy session I headed to a local takeaway for some chips & kebab with a hefty dollop of garlic sauce. Whilst eating this I started to fall and in a bid to stay upright I tried to turn my forward fall into a backwards one.

I succeeded in my plan and did a complete 360 and ran at top speed head first into some shutters of a nearby store.

I lay in a mound of chips and garlic sauce whilst other revellers openly mocked me.

Felt good man!
Last edited by John Lennon on Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by BeerMakesMeSmart » Sun Jun 03, 2012 4:23 pm

I feel for you. About a year ago I was leaving the bar and lost my balance on the last step and got rolling forward. I stayed on my feet across the street but finally fell just in time to land on my side on a concrete planter and broke my ribs.
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John Lennon
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by John Lennon » Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:31 pm

It went a little like this:

Image

Without the skateboard...or the morbid obesity.

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Miklo
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Miklo » Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:15 am

John Lennon wrote:It went a little like this:

Image

Without the skateboard...or the morbid obesity.
I cant tell you how many times i watched this....its still fucking funny as hell!
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Mr. Viking » Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:29 am

I didn't get injured but someone seems to have kicked a huge dent into the gas fire
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Mr. Viking » Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:23 pm

The Carlsberg Kid wrote:Where to start. Is this about physical injuries or emotional ones ? The latter are usually far worse and much longer lasting in my experience. But if its physical stuff then - as alluded to elsewhere.

DONEGAL.IRELAND.NIGHT.NOV 2004.

Our hero has consumed two 14% bottles of Cab Sauvingnon in about 4 hours and is blitzed. He decides to go for a drive to the beach. He takes a third bottle along on the passenger seat for good measure. It begins to rain heavily. The car aquaplanes and does a 360o into a brick wall at approx 50mph.

Our hero is knocked unconscious. He wakes up surrounded by flashing lights, people, cops, paramedics. He cant hear anything, but he can see it all. He is lifted out of the car. Stretcherd into the back of an ambulance. He cant move at all. He watches the roof of the ambulance and its greeny light on the ceiling.

25 miles later he is taken into the A&E room. He wakes up the next day. He is alive and he can move. He has a broken nose and minor facial lacerations. The worst thing is the splitting headache. He HAS to have a drink, and now. Against doctors orders he discharges himself from hospital before noon and makes straight for the nearest bar. He downs 4 Holsten Pils and feels better. Later his girlfriend leaves him. The pain of that continues for years. The physical pain is nothing.
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