Drunkard Injuries

[Bur]

Drinking + stairs + open-toed/open-backed sandals = fall down go boom.

Sandals; it must be the sandals why I'm always falling all over the place during summer, now I must just figure out why it's the same in spring, winter and fall as well..

[hossthomas]

i feel no shame in admittin that i fall down drunk fairly often. and yes, my wife is constantly remindin me that it's because i'm drunk that i fell down. i've had some damn remarkable drunken injuries but my biggest problem is that i weigh 350+ so usually when i fall i break shit, and usually it tends to be expensive shit.

[JimLahey]

i feel no shame in admittin that i fall down drunk fairly often. and yes, my wife is constantly remindin me that it's because i'm drunk that i fell down. i've had some damn remarkable drunken injuries but my biggest problem is that i weigh 350+ so usually when i fall i break shit, and usually it tends to be expensive shit.

Jesus, you're massive! But that thought of a giant guy crushing things in a drunken stupor is pretty funny.

[Cliffie S. Bockerson]

There is a dangerous period between when a drunk begins to lose his equilibrium and when gravity begins to lose much of its hold. This is the time when we all must exercise caution. Get past that point, coupla more drinks, and you just drift down on to the cement like a feather no matter what your inner ear tells you.

[Bur]

There is a dangerous period between when a drunk begins to lose his equilibrium and when gravity begins to lose much of its hold. This is the time when we all must exercise caution. Get past that point, coupla more drinks, and you just drift down on to the cement like a feather no matter what your inner ear tells you.

I used to live in thought that gravity hold me up here, I've learn otherwise..

[Savage]

I always forget that one last stair tread...

[hossthomas]

i feel no shame in admittin that i fall down drunk fairly often. and yes, my wife is constantly remindin me that it's because i'm drunk that i fell down. i've had some damn remarkable drunken injuries but my biggest problem is that i weigh 350+ so usually when i fall i break shit, and usually it tends to be expensive shit.

Jesus, you're massive! But that thought of a giant guy crushing things in a drunken stupor is pretty funny.

yeah, i always get a kick out of it too. but my wife usually fails to see the humor in it and sometimes yells things that i'm too drunk to pay attention to.

but like ray would say, that's the way she goes

[sloweducation]

i hope i never have to tie my shoes drunk

[Judge]

You really should talk to Fiyah about this. I believe there is a pic somewhere that drives home the point. Not to mention I believe there is still a stain on the flagstone in a sunroom in Berlin, Mass where his DNA will forever be trampled by generations of ManCaseDays.

[JimLahey]

Too many to count. A short list of the best?

1: Jumped off a bridge into a river. I didn't know the river was only 3 feet deep, and I didn't know the spot where I landed had an upturned shopping cart wedged in the mud at the bottom. Hello 5 broken ribs. PS, didn't go to hospital for 2 days because I thought it was just the hangover. My chest is now mishapen and half-retarded.

2: At 13 years old I drank 12 shots of Bacardi rum and had to be locked outside the house because I was such a problem. Needed to pee, tried to steady myself on the wood shed while doing my business, hand slips, face makes contact with corner of shed. Hello insanely deep and disfiguring scar across forehead.

3: Climb through barbed wire fence on way home from bar, slice arm open from elbow to wrist. Need 72 stitches when I get to hospital the next day. Jacket I was wearing the night before is in mint condition. Feel like Jesus for the rest of the week.

4: Fall down a flight of oak stairs backwards. Stay conscious, fall asleep in friend's mother's bed,wake up in a pool of my own blood. Puke in bidet, mistaking it for a toilet. Make up some excuse and leave the house as it is. Never see said friend again.

This is incredible, hahaha!

[WolfOfTheWest]

Too many to count. A short list of the best?

1: Jumped off a bridge into a river. I didn't know the river was only 3 feet deep, and I didn't know the spot where I landed had an upturned shopping cart wedged in the mud at the bottom. Hello 5 broken ribs. PS, didn't go to hospital for 2 days because I thought it was just the hangover. My chest is now mishapen and half-retarded.

2: At 13 years old I drank 12 shots of Bacardi rum and had to be locked outside the house because I was such a problem. Needed to pee, tried to steady myself on the wood shed while doing my business, hand slips, face makes contact with corner of shed. Hello insanely deep and disfiguring scar across forehead.

3: Climb through barbed wire fence on way home from bar, slice arm open from elbow to wrist. Need 72 stitches when I get to hospital the next day. Jacket I was wearing the night before is in mint condition. Feel like Jesus for the rest of the week.

4: Fall down a flight of oak stairs backwards. Stay conscious, fall asleep in friend's mother's bed,wake up in a pool of my own blood. Puke in bidet, mistaking it for a toilet. Make up some excuse and leave the house as it is. Never see said friend again.

This is incredible, hahaha!

I live to entertain!?

[Bourbon]

Figure ill chime in here.

I was an American soldier stationed in The Netherlands a couple years ago. One of my friends came to visit. During his visit, we decide to take the train to Amsterdam. Usually a fairly mundane 3 hour train ride, this time the car we happened to pick was filled with some mixed fraternity/sorority. Overhearing us speaking English, a couple of the members start chatting with us, and soon ask. "Oh you're American, you can chug beer?" Never being one to.back down from a challenge, we say yes, and of course go on to getting plowed on the train.

When my buddy and I finally reach our stop, we part ways with the college students and get off. In my drunken stumbling, I manage to fall off the stairs heading down the train platform, and severely sprain my ankle. No big deal while I'm drunk, I say, and we power through that. My friend and I end up walking down the street then find a hotel, and decide to go party for the night. In our search for a bar (not really too difficult a task, really), we come across a place giving free shots of that magical blackout juice, jagermeister. Had a couple shots, and predictably proceed to black out. Next thing I remember, we're completely lost in the city of Amsterdam, somehow crossed the Amstel River, and we can not find a bridge to get back on the south side and I'm walking with a fairly serious limp. I look down, and my ankle is about the size of a softball. I'm starting to undrunk back up, at least enough to start feeling pain again, and this is not good. We end up walking about 3 more hours, attempting to flag down cars, including cops, but can't get any help, before we finally find something recognizable, and get back to the hotel somewhere around 8:00am. The next morning, I am in pretty intense pain, and after taking a look on Google maps, we deduce our path, and estimate we walked somewhere near 12 miles. My ankle has never been the same, but it was quite a night, or at least what I remembe

[Resident Asshole]

Not much to speak of. I have bruises and cuts on a regular basis but I've never really hurt myself badly while drunk. I did however knock my friend's tooth out while we were barehands boxing while drunk. Broke another friend's ribs doing the same thing. I'm not really too easy to hurt, although I did get jumped by two guys on Super Bowl Sunday last year and they cut me above my eye bad enough that I had to go to the hospital.

They had to go to the hospital also ;-)

[zfish]

Specialists love me. I go to one for my knees. One for my feet. My regular Dr just writes me scripts for pain pills.

I tell them it's my physically demanding job. That's partially true. i just don't tell them about the bone crushing falls I've taken while drunk. That would be unprofessional of me.

[jubjub]

see that beam i'm swinging from in my picture? i don't swing from it anymore. after 2 bottles of wine my hands slipped and i did a forward roll into the coffee table. smacked my face against the corner of the table and got a black eye. lucky i didn't lose any teeth.