Drunkard Injuries

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Bur
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Bur » Thu Jul 31, 2014 4:17 am

oldsmartskunk wrote:Got really really drunk. In winter. Me and my mate went out to take a walk and i decided to take a leak. During this holy process i fell dick down into snow. That looked really funny. And my wiener felt really funny for days!
Strange I have not noticed any funny feels despite dozens of occasions where I went snow swimming in the winter. The photo evidence of one these cases still lurks these boards I believe.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oldsmartskunk » Thu Jul 31, 2014 5:08 am

Bur wrote:
oldsmartskunk wrote:Got really really drunk. In winter. Me and my mate went out to take a walk and i decided to take a leak. During this holy process i fell dick down into snow. That looked really funny. And my wiener felt really funny for days!
Strange I have not noticed any funny feels despite dozens of occasions where I went snow swimming in the winter. The photo evidence of one these cases still lurks these boards I believe.
You must've built up an immunity!

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oettinger
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oettinger » Fri Aug 01, 2014 8:43 am

How often in the span of a liftetime does an average drunk break/injure his toes on walls or doorcases/closed-doors and never notices?
100 times? Just throwing that out there, never counted myself
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:36 pm

oettinger wrote:How often in the span of a liftetime does an average drunk break/injure his toes on walls or doorcases/closed-doors and never notices?
100 times? Just throwing that out there, never counted myself
It tends to be more of a fracture (usually a hairline fracture, at that). Not too many real breakages of the tarsals.

The carpals, though, hoo-wee, do they tend to get busted up.
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oldsmartskunk
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oldsmartskunk » Sun Aug 03, 2014 4:28 am

I call this chilli on my willy. I was marinating meat with a chilli sauce. I barely scrubbed my hand and ran to the bathroom. And guess what? A piece of chilly got on my willy. That was HOT. Why do i get so many of these "penile" injuries...

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Patchez » Sun Aug 03, 2014 4:42 am

Oh... yes, I've semi felt your pain.
I was at a joint that had the whole shell flavored peanuts.
I start drinking and enjoying the Cajun flavored nuts. By the bowl full. About an hour goes by and the need to relieve was too much. I head to the bathroom. I piss like a cow on a flat rock.
Job done I head back to the bar. Three beers in my junk is tingling. Not in the good way. I'm trying to think what the hell is going on while I shove Cajun flavored peanuts down my gullet.

Two beers and another bowlful of peanuts , as I'm headed to the bathroom again, dick still on fire. The light bulb goes on.

Wash your hands before pissing...dumbass
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Savage » Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:28 am

Well, I had a bit of an accident recently, and all four of my littlest toes are quite purple and stiff.
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Mr. Viking » Sat Jun 20, 2015 5:05 am

nothing major, just a big blister on my heel. See, drinking makes me exercise
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oettinger » Sat Jun 20, 2015 8:35 am

Mr. Viking wrote:nothing major, just a big blister on my heel. See, drinking makes me exercise
This thread is a staple of your`s.

I broke another glass-jar recently with my lemon mixer bottle. A week later I drunkenly found another shard of said glass and of course cut my finger with it and somehow managed to get it stuck beneath my skin. Only drunks are drunk enough to pull stunts like these
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Mr. Viking » Sat Jun 20, 2015 9:08 am

oettinger wrote:
Mr. Viking wrote:nothing major, just a big blister on my heel. See, drinking makes me exercise
This thread is a staple of your`s.

I broke another glass-jar recently with my lemon mixer bottle. A week later I drunkenly found another shard of said glass and of course cut my finger with it and somehow managed to get it stuck beneath my skin. Only drunks are drunk enough to pull stunts like these
hope it doesn't get infected. Dip it in vodka or something
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oettinger » Sat Jun 20, 2015 9:13 am

Mr. Viking wrote:
oettinger wrote:
Mr. Viking wrote:nothing major, just a big blister on my heel. See, drinking makes me exercise
This thread is a staple of your`s.

I broke another glass-jar recently with my lemon mixer bottle. A week later I drunkenly found another shard of said glass and of course cut my finger with it and somehow managed to get it stuck beneath my skin. Only drunks are drunk enough to pull stunts like these
hope it doesn't get infected. Dip it in vodka or something
Sucked it out and almost choked on it.
If anything kills me prematurely I think vodka got the bragging rights, Phillipp Morris meanwhile sits in the corner crying like a little baby
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oldsmartskunk » Sat Jun 20, 2015 9:27 am

oettinger wrote:Sucked it out and almost choked on it.
Well well well, coming out finally?

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oettinger » Sat Jun 20, 2015 9:40 am

oldsmartskunk wrote:
oettinger wrote:Sucked it out and almost choked on it.
Well well well, coming out finally?
I knew this comment would happen.
And no, it`s not coming out to this day! I tried my very professional sucking technics to no avail. This sucks. Sucks! Sucks! Sucks! My prolonged sex-chance sucks as much as does my prolonged refill!
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Savage » Sun Jun 21, 2015 3:44 am

I fell outa bed a few mos ago, thanks to a drunken Jarhead trying to climb Mount Savage while so drunk he wouldn't know me from --well, I won't even go there, as it is my new policy to not post anything that would outrage or upset my grandchildren
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oettinger » Sun Jun 21, 2015 4:58 am

Savage wrote:I fell outa bed a few mos ago, thanks to a drunken Jarhead trying to climb Mount Savage while so drunk he wouldn't know me from --well, I won't even go there, as it is my new policy to not post anything that would outrage or upset my grandchildren
Damn I need some grandchildren too if this really works! How much do they charge for the starter-kit?
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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