Drunken Beast

[partypipes]

I drank 10 shots of Captain Morgan in 45 minutes during a pre-game at my friends apartment on campus. My college buddies and I decided to hit up an off-campus house before the bar. There werent many people at the house, mostly just the people that were going to the bar together, because it was a V.I.P event. I felt the Captain somewhat wearing off, so I grabbed some beers from the fridge. Thirty minutes pass, and I finish my fifth beer.

The drunkenness returned, and I was ready to hit the bar. We got to the bar around 11, and my friends and I make our way to the front. My boy, who hadnt really pre-gamed before, wanted some tequila shots to get that quick burst, you know what Im saying. I knew tequila was probably not the best idea for me at this point, but I went with it anyway. Foolish. I had 4 shots and was semi-destroyed at this point. I made my way to the dance floor and mingled with some cuties before it was time to return to the bar. I had more tequila shots and some mixed drinks. I turned my back to the bar rail and just stood there getting grinded on.

I felt myself getting drunker and drunker. This chick seemed really into me even though I wasnt doing shit. I was just standing there. Im assuming she felt the snake, so I went with it. She was the total opposite of what I look for in a girl. Things started getting frisky and we hookup. I dont remember it, but I do remember her telling me that her boyfriend was standing next to me. I was drunk. I didnt give a fuck.

I returned to my dorm after the club with a buddy of mine, his girl, and his girls friend (the girl I had just hooked up with). We ordered pizza. My friend and his girl left the room, leaving me with this beast. I asked her why she hadnt gone as well. She told me she didnt feel like walking. I told her I would walk her home. She quickly rejected this idea. I went to the bathroom to ponder the situation. I thought about running away, but that would be foolish because I was definitely going to see her again. Worst came to worst, and she had made herself comfortable while I was gone. My roommate had texted me, because he had just gotten back to the room.

"What is in our room?" he asked
My response: "Do you have a shotgun?"

I wanted no conversation with this animal, so I pretended to fall asleep. She wasnt having it. She grasped my dick, and tried everything in her power to get it hard.

Perhaps she was unaware of this equation: Jose Cuervo + Vodka + Captain + Beer = an unhappy, unwilling, unmotivated dick.

I told her this but she ignored me. No need to explain, you can only imagine how awkward the morning was.

For the rest of the semester, I ran into that girl everyday walking to class. I avoided any eye contact, put my head down and ignored her.

[UnkleLemmy]

Was she drunk? Thats what I look for in a girl.

Well, that and me.

[BBoozer]

Just two words: brown bag.

[Bur]

Just two words: brown bag.

It seems everyone has either better imagination compared than I do, or maybe it's just that their paper bags are superior.