One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator

Post Reply
User avatar
oettinger
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8350
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:23 am

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oettinger » Fri Sep 19, 2014 1:15 pm

#221 got drunk for some days with three class A drunkard gentlemen

#222 got lost in some foreign town in the same setting and asked an old man for advice to show me the taxi stand. When I approached him shouting "Sir, Sir can you help me please", the elderly woman started to laugh heavily
I might edit: she was very nice and helpful and took me with her as she was going the direction also
I just really like the taste of alcohol
Image

User avatar
oldsmartskunk
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 740
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2014 4:07 am

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oldsmartskunk » Sun Oct 05, 2014 2:54 pm

#223 Peed on a public bus. Puked in it too. Woke up 3hours later 300miles away.

User avatar
oettinger
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8350
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:23 am

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oettinger » Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:45 am

#224 peed on the wrong door/stairs on a public train late at night. When it was time to get out a big drunken leap was required
I just really like the taste of alcohol
Image

User avatar
AntonArkydivich
Super Drunkard
Super Drunkard
Posts: 196
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:06 am

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by AntonArkydivich » Wed Oct 22, 2014 2:42 am

I feel the need to add one that I had forgotten about. I would like to thank juvenile irresponsibility and traumatic cranial trauma for this gem.

Camping in the Azusa Mountains in May, in the middle of a crazy California drought (this is important). Me and my wife, my best (Russian) friend, and his wife. Got a ton of firewood, set up camp, and it starts to rain early in the night. We cooked brats, shivered beneath tarps, and drank, played cards, and drank, and drank. Eventually, the wives passed out, and me and my buddy decided to have a few more drinks, and then a cigarette or two, a ways away, underneath a dense pine tree.

On the walk back, it started snowing. It hadn't rained in months, but the little rain turned into a torrent of snow/sleet. I slipped in the fresh and unexpected mud, saw our red plastic cooler in front of me, and tried to fall away from it. I came to my senses lying on the ground, the fire flickering in front of me, and my friend poking me in the ribs with his boot, saying "Get up. Don't be hurt. Only pussies get hurt." I couldn't stop laughing. Turns out, that was his way of expressing sincere concern.

I navigated my way through the rest of night (which included a couple of new friendships in the campground neighborhood) and went to bed assuming nothing was wrong.

I went to bed with the hood of my sweatshirt up, and woke up the next morning with an almost perfect recollection of the night... until my wife sat up and shouted, "What the f--k happened to your head!?"

I had a softball sized patch of blood on the hood of my sweater from where my head had (apparently) smacked against the cooler I had been trying to avoid. The next day, my wife, who is a nurse, made me go to the ER, because my pupils were different sizes (allegedly). They said I was fine, and to lay off contact sports for a month or two.

Now, I'm not trying to justify what happened. It was stupid, stupid, stupid. But, I did grow up hearing my mother tell me, "The Good Lord looks after fools, drunks, and little children." And I'll be damned, but inebriation actually inhibits cranial swelling in the event of blunt trauma, which I discovered afterwards. I drove all four of us the three hours home the next day, no problems. Maybe I wouldn't have slipped if I was undrunk, but if I was going to regardless, thank God I wasn't.

So here's to all the drunks, fools, and little children who God looks after...myself included.
Making my own city lights out of bourbon and the stars of a barroom fight.
- Josh Ritter

User avatar
Patchez
Boozing Like Bukowski
Boozing Like Bukowski
Posts: 4742
Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:41 pm
Location: South Central, PA

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Patchez » Wed Oct 22, 2014 10:51 am

Is piss the wife off immensely, in there?

If not make that one the next #.
“The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.” -Douglas Adams

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

User avatar
Palinka (RIP)
Moderator
Posts: 9793
Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2003 7:29 pm
Location: In The Liquor Cabinet

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:39 am

Patchez wrote:Is piss the wife off immensely, in there?

If not make that one the next #.
Then you can share in "The Song For Smatter"

May it serve you well.
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
ImageImage

User avatar
mistah willies
Chugging Like Churchill
Chugging Like Churchill
Posts: 5822
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:48 pm
Location: A ship upon the vast ocean of the Mighty MDM
Contact:

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by mistah willies » Thu Oct 23, 2014 4:39 pm

Patchez wrote:Is piss the wife off immensely, in there?

If not make that one the next #.
That'd be #226 because AntonArkydivich kicked the hell out of #225 with his tale.

I feel your pain, my friend, and I think a bunch of us were on Skype whe---

*ahem* I mean, It's never (cough cough) happened to ( fuck cough) happened to me (lying)

Palinka wrote: Then you can share in "The Song For Smatter"

May it serve you well.
HA!


Fucking excellent.

Yup, I'm stealing that but I promise to make good use of it when the time comes, prolly soon. I'll be sure to give ya proper credit.

#227

Woke up in a different casino. Last fucking week.



.
Can we drink now? ---peetie44
At rock bottom, there is no down. ---The Oett
^ ^ ^ Yes his entire cutlery set and all utensils are made from assorted broken bottles.--- The Artful Detective
Just remember Hugh: a good cocktail in a shitty glass is better that a shitty cocktail in a pretty glass.---The Badfellow
I'll buy the first round if you promise to stop being a cunt. --- Dear Booze

User avatar
oettinger
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8350
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:23 am

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oettinger » Fri Oct 24, 2014 11:42 am

#228 Spent a night at some lake and got drunk. The girls thought it would be fun to spill beer on me, stupid ladies. Soaking wet I put my shirt next to the campfire to dry when it started to burn. Put more beer on it to extinguish.
The next morning waking up in the wilderness I spotted an old ketchup plastic bottle and told everyone "watch this" and jumped on it. To bad the opening was clocked like concrete and the whole thing exploded all over me!
With pants and shoes on I then took a bath in the muddy water. The some people saw us and instead of calling the police gave us some crackers to eat!!!! HA! We looked that bad sleeping outside and such...
I then put on the leftovers of my shirt was told by the girls that my smell was beyond feculent. The ride home took some 1,5 hours of me disgusting innocent people.
I just really like the taste of alcohol
Image

User avatar
Palinka (RIP)
Moderator
Posts: 9793
Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2003 7:29 pm
Location: In The Liquor Cabinet

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Fri Oct 24, 2014 12:05 pm

oettinger wrote:...1,5 hours of me disgusting innocent people.
So, no change there, then...
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
ImageImage

User avatar
mistah willies
Chugging Like Churchill
Chugging Like Churchill
Posts: 5822
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:48 pm
Location: A ship upon the vast ocean of the Mighty MDM
Contact:

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by mistah willies » Sat Oct 25, 2014 6:20 pm

#229

Got drunk with two Germaniacs, a northern Ireland man, and a Calidude of digital exponentialism.

We determined that the new German should spread his balls across the country, washing windows with them.

I have never heard such a discussion before this time.

You Drunkard bastards.


I am ruined now

User avatar
AntonArkydivich
Super Drunkard
Super Drunkard
Posts: 196
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:06 am

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by AntonArkydivich » Mon Oct 27, 2014 10:39 am

chilly willies wrote:
Patchez wrote:Is piss the wife off immensely, in there?

If not make that one the next #.
That'd be #226 because AntonArkydivich kicked the hell out of #225 with his tale.

I feel your pain, my friend, and I think a bunch of us were on Skype whe---

*ahem* I mean, It's never (cough cough) happened to ( fuck cough) happened to me (lying)

Palinka wrote: Then you can share in "The Song For Smatter"

May it serve you well.
Thank you, friends, for picking up the slack for me. Yes, when she realized I wasn't going to die, #226 did involve an immensely pissed off spouse. Who would have thought?
Making my own city lights out of bourbon and the stars of a barroom fight.
- Josh Ritter

User avatar
Resident Asshole
Drinking God's Good Scotch
Drinking God's Good Scotch
Posts: 2833
Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2005 8:09 am
Location: Coming in your back door.

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Resident Asshole » Tue Oct 28, 2014 1:16 pm

# 230 On my honeymoon in Dominican Republic, after the wife had gone to sleep went to the "night club" (only because it was the only bar still open) and amused the local employees by teaching them how to flair bartend with shakers and glasses. Thank goodness the glasses were plastic because I dropped them many times but they seemed genuinely happy and were no better than I was even though they were not drunk.

I love all inclusives!
Bourbon is my blood.

"Gren Label will rock on the show for me." bot rehan507

"women want to better express themselves. Dress up as their own performance this will be a lack of confidence." bot clshoo348

select backwards to God, his safekeeping a weapon homeopathy bold deed, president each opposite's cervix. bot klmn619

User avatar
oldsmartskunk
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 740
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2014 4:07 am

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oldsmartskunk » Fri Dec 26, 2014 8:54 am

#231 Got drunk as fuck. Was nice to people. Went to sleep with no adventures! As a result bastards drank all contents of m liquor cabinet.

User avatar
brandonman
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 502
Joined: Wed Dec 24, 2014 12:01 am
Location: St Louis, MO

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by brandonman » Fri Dec 26, 2014 2:46 pm

#232 - Thrown up off a balcony during cigarette time onto those foldout cloth patio chairs of the people that lived below the host
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" -Tom Waits

User avatar
brandonman
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 502
Joined: Wed Dec 24, 2014 12:01 am
Location: St Louis, MO

Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by brandonman » Sun Dec 28, 2014 2:07 am

brandonman wrote:#232 - Thrown up off a balcony during cigarette time onto those foldout cloth patio chairs of the people that lived below the host
And believe it or not, never heard a lick about it from the host, only my drinking/smoking buddy at the time.
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" -Tom Waits

Post Reply