One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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Maj
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Maj » Mon Jun 30, 2014 8:56 pm

#198 Went for wings after my son's grade 8 graduation. Was undrunk throughout the grad but wings begs beers and so I*'m true to fuckin form. Wife said "are you ok to drive?', obligatory response is "get in the fuckin van."

No shit, I got on the boulevard, stopped at the stop sign like a champ, and headed home at the speed limit on the fuckn dot.

Fuckin cop behind me out of no where, I pull over on to a side street, wife knows the dril, had the insurance and ownership with my licence in his fuckin asshole face as my window was rolling down.

"I can't imagine what I did officer . . . " I said dripping sarcasm.

"How many beers have you had?" he said.

"I've had one beer sir. Why did you pull me over?" says I.

"OK, I belive you," he says backpeddliing towards his cruiser.

"Wait!" says I. "You didn't tell me why you pulled me over."
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by mistah willies » Thu Jul 03, 2014 9:37 pm

199

Wrote on the MDM in a drinken fog on the MDM forums board.

Many times, like now


Morning verison of me never recalls doing it

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by booznik » Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:24 pm

mistah willies wrote:Wrote on the MDM in a drinken fog on the MDM forums board...
A DRINK!en fog indeed. That is usually the nighttime weather in the rocky shoals near Willies Cove, and few captain dare navigate those waters, lest they break apart and drown in the martini depths.

But you dare, good sir. And you succeed.
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oettinger » Fri Jul 04, 2014 9:24 am

mistah willies wrote:199

Wrote on the MDM in a drinken fog on the MDM forums board.

Many times, like now


Morning verison of me never recalls doing it
Reading next morning with a drink in hand goes like this:

A) Did I really write this, whoa greatness, hope the whole board notices this gem
B) What, why did I snot this on the board, god please let no one take note
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Fri Jul 04, 2014 11:01 am

oettinger wrote:...please let no one take note
As one of the few people to read every single post made, each and every day, you can bet that I will take note (and occasionally edit it, on your behalf - which is not an action that I take lightly, and I always inform the Board Member who's post I have edited, that it was done, why it was done and offer them a chance to discuss it).
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Kindly listen to this, please.
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oettinger » Fri Jul 04, 2014 1:08 pm

Palinka wrote:
oettinger wrote:...please let no one take note
As one of the few people to read every single post made.
Hey, I try to keep up myself. Thing is:
# 200 re-reading posts of yesterday you seem to recognize but still can`t quite remeber reading.
This delicious happenstance calls for a mind altering drink!
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by mistah willies » Sat Jul 05, 2014 3:10 pm

booznik wrote:
mistah willies wrote:Wrote on the MDM in a drinken fog on the MDM forums board...
A DRINK!en fog indeed. That is usually the nighttime weather in the rocky shoals near Willies Cove, and few captain dare navigate those waters, lest they break apart and drown in the martini depths.

But you dare, good sir. And you succeed.
I have no recollection of writing the above, and I thank you sir for your magnanimity; much appreciated.



#201 Woke up still drunk with a full belly, very thirsty, and half a bag of uncooked rice spilled all over me sheets.

A rock in my stomach: the rest of the rice

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oldsmartskunk » Sat Jul 05, 2014 3:23 pm

Uncooked rice reminded me of something :D
#202 Woke at 1pm, on the kitchen floor, in my underwear(got drunk early in the morning). Burnt french fries were all over the kitchen.

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oettinger » Sat Jul 05, 2014 3:38 pm

That is called cooking souzed, by a long stretch, like a mary with coke, but its cooking
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oldsmartskunk » Thu Jul 17, 2014 4:43 pm

#203 Went into an abandoned graveyard, at 2 am. Fell into quite a deep ditch. Crawled out on all fours.

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oettinger » Fri Jul 18, 2014 10:11 am

oldsmartskunk wrote:#203 Went into an abandoned graveyard, at 2 am. Fell into quite a deep ditch. Crawled out on all fours.
Cause this is thriller, now I got two worms in my brain, one tells me to drink heavily the other to listen to whole MJ catalogue. Guess which one I will try to tune out first. Both work towards the bucket

#205 joined a party at a place up north finding some korn-schnaps in a freezer only to be noticed that the stuff was on tap for the retired folks sunday morning party the next day. By that time three of us took six bottles each and headed home already. Mixed it with liters of expired vitamin juice I happily brought home from work
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Fri Jul 18, 2014 11:52 am

I think that I have the winner: #206 Banned the entire population of Pakistan from The Board (we had a particularly virulent bot that had a Pakistan IP address and kept showing up, no matter how quickly we banned the bugger, with a new IP address, as many as three times a day, for about six weeks - However, since it had to have the Pakistan IP prefix, I just banned Pakistan).
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oldsmartskunk » Fri Jul 18, 2014 12:16 pm

Palinka wrote:I think that I have the winner: #206 Banned the entire population of Pakistan from The Board (we had a particularly virulent bot that had a Pakistan IP address and kept showing up, no matter how quickly we banned the bugger, with a new IP address, as many as three times a day, for about six weeks - However, since it had to have the Pakistan IP prefix, I just banned Pakistan).
Holy Pakistanian Jesus! I bow to thee my lord !

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oettinger » Fri Jul 18, 2014 12:19 pm

Palinka wrote:I think that I have the winner: #206 Banned the entire population of Pakistan from The Board (we had a particularly virulent bot that had a Pakistan IP address and kept showing up, no matter how quickly we banned the bugger, with a new IP address, as many as three times a day, for about six weeks - However, since it had to have the Pakistan IP prefix, I just banned Pakistan).
I think that was me, sorry. Couldn`t enter the damned boards no matter how much I tried, forgot every password

Joke aside, well done

Now I have to offer

#207 when we were teens we got drunk on christmas holidays. During those garbage disposals are delayed for two to three days. Thus full containers were waiting for takeoff on every street. My friend and I got this great idea to kick them all over on the snowy roads. We`ve done this dozen times before during every season before.
We managed to kick some kilometers of containers when we were stopped by police. I had my alibi in place but my buddy screwed the two of us totally up by being so drunk and asking the wrong questions back. We had to put all that litter back into place while the cops followed us at step speed in their car.
Luckily for us, half of the kilometer they didn`t even know of, aswell as the park bench on the highway. I tried to engage with the beautiful cop woman but when she was talking back her old ass boss told her to not talk to the delinquients.
Got to his place and drunk some more till passing out
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oldsmartskunk » Sat Jul 19, 2014 5:56 am

#208 Threw up through the window. Whole mass of semi-digested food landed on some guys head. Apparently he was smoking. Wrong place,wrong time. Shithead didn't talk to me for a year after that.

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