One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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oettinger
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oettinger »

oldsmartskunk wrote:#208 Threw up through the window. Whole mass of semi-digested food landed on some guys head. Apparently he was smoking. Wrong place,wrong time. Shithead didn't talk to me for a year after that.
What an asshole!
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booznik
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

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oldsmartskunk wrote:#208 Threw up through the window. Whole mass of semi-digested food landed on some guys head. Apparently he was smoking. Wrong place,wrong time. Shithead didn't talk to me for a year after that.
Now this made me laugh. I guess you're lucky he didn't retaliate with physical violence.

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Bur
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Bur »

#209 likened a guy twice my size to parent's dog

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

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Bur wrote:#209 likened a guy twice my size to parent's dog
And then?

Was there BLOOD?
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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ThirstyDrunk
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

110 things i forgot i did whilde drunk
Take a whiff of my pantleg, baby.

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oettinger
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oettinger »

# 111 the russian buddy just told me that he took a nude bath in the ruhr river while being quite drunk. That means that at about tuesday a big pile of dead fish should arrive on the southern coast of the UK. Dead fisherman included. Some took their lives because of the smell, some were flat out burned by the acidic water.
In fact he once got this hobby to show his bare ass to any oncoming traffic, cops included. Never got arrested, as(s) oh my, it was so over top that they just shook their heads

Mind you those big rivers can suck you in quickly and you`ll never see daylight again. Beware!
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

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oettinger wrote:...Never got arrested, as(s) oh my, it was so over top that they just shook their heads...
We're police officers! We're not trained to handle this kind of violence!

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"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by mistah willies »

#112

Me and Joey aborught Fat Jerry to LA and we picked up runawyas mod kids back in 83 when we had this 73 FOrd LTD and the angry punk flipped ooff everyone ont he weay, and then we got inot several bars with our hallooween facepaint on becaus eit was Halooween and we partied with that girl who sanf the song Oh SOmthing somthing uoubso fine her name was

fuck man


i ll do betetr
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by oldsmartskunk »

#213 Had sex with a fattest girl in a bar. I'm quite proud of it!

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by mistah willies »

oldsmartskunk wrote:#213 Had sex with a fattest girl in a bar. I'm quite proud of it!

we call that Jelly over here!

Jelling.


Dude?

Hey next one


#212 Going out to the pub, got a smack in the face from my Dotta.


Why?


I was about to drip glue from a tiny bottle into my eyes like Visine.

It was for her fingernail covering somthing or what the hell is that thing anyway.

Why make the tiny bottle look that way?


This was an hour ago.


So, #213 FOund out that I can type better than I can speak or navigate between glue and eye drops. Probably stay home and check out MDM


*Sip*




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At rock bottom, there is no down. ---The Oett
^ ^ ^ Yes his entire cutlery set and all utensils are made from assorted broken bottles.--- The Artful Detective
Just remember Hugh: a good cocktail in a shitty glass is better that a shitty cocktail in a pretty glass.---The Badfellow
I'll buy the first round if you promise to stop being a cunt. --- Dear Booze

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Dear Booze »

#216

Failed to close and lock my hotel room door in Las Vegas and woke to find that I had been liberated of $1,000 and a $25 chip.
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Casual Binger »

Dear Booze wrote:#216

Failed to close and lock my hotel room door in Las Vegas and woke to find that I had been liberated of $1,000 and a $25 chip.
That sucks man, did the chip have sentimental value? Does the hotel have cameras in the hall? You might not be able to get anyone convicted off footage of entering an open door, but you could probably get them arrested, if they could be identified as opportunistic fellow guests. The Vegas cops would give them a lesson in manners? Maybe wishful thinking.

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by Dear Booze »

Casual Binger wrote:
Dear Booze wrote:#216

Failed to close and lock my hotel room door in Las Vegas and woke to find that I had been liberated of $1,000 and a $25 chip.
That sucks man, did the chip have sentimental value? Does the hotel have cameras in the hall? You might not be able to get anyone convicted off footage of entering an open door, but you could probably get them arrested, if they could be identified as opportunistic fellow guests. The Vegas cops would give them a lesson in manners? Maybe wishful thinking.
Yes. Wishful thinking. Nevada law cannot convict someone for entering a room. Since there are no cameras in the room, they can't prove that anything was stolen. Since they didn't take jewelry or credit cards, they are Scott Free. Worst thing that can happen is the hotel security finds them and issues a "no trespass" warning. As far as the chip, it wasn't sentimental. It was only a casino chip that I had left over from a blackjack game from earlier
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by AntonArkydivich »

It's been weeks since anyone tossed anything up on this thread, but I'm drunk enough to think this is a good idea. So…

#217 Got arrested by the Lithuanian Police for riding a bus without a valid ticket. I had purchased the ticket, but had not the foggiest clue how to validate it once I got on the bus.

#218 Got drunk in Lithuania, woke up on a bus to Latvia. Got drunk in Latvia, woke up in Moscow (I had a Russian visa, but I wasn't planning on making the trip for a couple more days.)

#219 While dancing in Prague, a sloshed female aquiantance broke a glass of beer on the dance floor. While reaching to pick up the glass, I laid my hand open, and proceeded to leak blood all over the bouncer I asked for a first aid kit. Spent the rest of my night with paper towel and duct tape wrapped around my hand (which was better the getting 86-ed).

#220 While nearing a black-out during a music festival in Geneva, was handed a water bottle by a man I thought was one of my friends. After taking a long pull and several gulps, I looked around and it turns out my friend was a generous hobo with a giant grin on his face, and my "friends" were laughing their asses off, as one of them gasped/shouted at me "Do you know how much Absinthe you just drank?!" Spent the rest of the night trying to keep the thoughts in my head and the contents of my stomach from spewing out into the world as I danced with people who I will never remember. Ever.
Making my own city lights out of bourbon and the stars of a barroom fight.
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk

Post by mistah willies »

^ ^ ^

Damn fiend first post

Welcome aboard, and don't be a stranger
Can we drink now? ---peetie44
At rock bottom, there is no down. ---The Oett
^ ^ ^ Yes his entire cutlery set and all utensils are made from assorted broken bottles.--- The Artful Detective
Just remember Hugh: a good cocktail in a shitty glass is better that a shitty cocktail in a pretty glass.---The Badfellow
I'll buy the first round if you promise to stop being a cunt. --- Dear Booze

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