My first college house party...

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Wolfcoat
Booze Head
Booze Head
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Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 7:13 am
Location: Flatlands of the Midwest, USA

My first college house party...

Post by Wolfcoat »

So in the late 80s, I head off to college. I end up meeting a bunch of guys in the dorm (eventually we all get a house off campus the next year, which has its own interesting stories). Two of the guys play in a band called the Bedspins. OK, cool. So Andy tells me they are playing a show at a house called the Phi Delt Annex, since some frat dudes who are Phi Delts live there. I show up early, to hang with my buds in the band and help set up. I meet two of the three Phi Delts, they seem to be reasonable guys. There's a keg in the kitchen, and mattresses over the front room windows for sound deadening.

I figure I better check the pressure on the keg, so I go and fill up a tester. Good and cold and wet, like beer should be.

Amps and kits set up, sound check is over, and people have really begun to pile into this little old house. The kitchen is so packed now that you have to kinda slide along the counters to get to the keg. I fill and chug and fill again, just in case I can't make my way back to the keg.

Band starts playing, which draws some folks into that room, and away from the keg. So I'm there filling again.

All is good, I'm thrilling at being underage and drinkin a beer at a keg/band party like a twenty-something. I'm standing ther,e bopping a bit in place, and then this high-decibel drunk is spilling his beer on my finely manicured trenchcoat...OK, let it slide, all is good.

Jamming continues, and the guy is now sloshing his beer on me...glad the trench is scotch guarded. Ignore and jam.

Then, the third spill, on my fookin coat, leg, and boots. I turn to say "hey man what the shite gives" and he turns and head-butts me in the sternum. (Now I'll take that from a friend or relative, but I don't know this guy from Adam).

I don't think I saw red, or any particular color, but I did get tunnel vision. All I can focus on and grab is his dumb, hi-decibel throat. I don't think I was actually choking him, since that generally requires two hands to get a good carotid pinch of cross-collar choke going. Still, I may have pushed and squeezed a bit.

Either way, the result was that he goes down like a tossed caber. Now there are people turning around from watching the band to see who is sliding down their jackets like bony molasses. I'm trying to nonchalantly drink my beer like I am unawares of these exploits, just here drinkin me beer and digging the band, man. The two guys that live there are looking at me and floorboy, back and forth. They don't seem too happy.

Things looked like they might get bad, then luckily I'm saved by the cops. These fukkers were there immediamente, must've been posted along the street knowing there would be drunk teens. Red and blue strobe flashes s are coming in the front door along with the cops.

I head for the kitchen since it has a back door. The panic of cops has not yet reached the kitchen, it is packed with beer drinking kids. I hop the counter and jump for the door, only to be collared by a cop.

I take in the scene: 2 cops, collecting from the back door. They already have about 4 kids seated on this bench out back. the bench is in front of a hedge row that separates the property form the sidewalk and the world outside. They sit me down on the bench along with 4 troubled looking youths.

At this point, the 6 or so beers I've had are getting squeezed out of my pipes by a tiger-dose of adrenaline. Sure, I've drank before, and gotten drunk, but I am now in possession of the Enforcement Class.

Still, there are only two of them, and their attention is all on pulling kids outta the house. I see my moment - a kid struggling to fight off the cop draws the other to pull on the kid too--I pull my collar up on my trench, and then do a backwards somersault off of the bench and through the hedge, and run like Sleipnir in the Kentucky derby. I ran at least a mile, until my lungs felt like fire.

Giggling, I made the last 400 yds to the dorm, and giggle meself to sleep.

Next day, the legs are a bit sore, but other than that and a few scratches on the scalp I am fine.

I saw Andy a few days later, an commented on the awesome show at the Phi Delt Annex. He commented on how it was cool til the cops showed up. "Cops really?" I deadpanned. "I must've left before that"

About two weeks later, I found out the guy I "altercated" with was the other guy who lived in the house.

I never went back.
Here's to us, and those like us.
Damn few of us left.

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