The ZID Chapters, Part II

[mistah willies]

do it again so I can see

That's what she said.

Yeah, but it got in her eyes

[booznik]

do it again so I can see

That's what she said.

Yeah, but it got in her eyes

That's what you said.

Cheers, me great pirate who has a chainsaw on a stick, and that's not at all naughty, it's just the truth.

ARRRRRRRRRR.

[mistah willies]

ARRRRR!!! me hearty. Chainsaw on a stick, "this is my boomstick.'

Yet, none can compare to Ash


"On a stick" reminds me of this creepily hilarious shit.

Chainsaws are the best, though, huh. Nothing better than filing the chainbefore each fell. Like buttah


where the hell is that spacedude with the next friggin part anyways

[oettinger]

The spaceman can`t handle his drinking it seems

[mistah willies]

The spaceman can`t handle his drinking it seems

agreed. That bastard need to get his shit togetehter. TOgether. He needsd to get his


ahem

His mother has a wooden leg with a kick stand

[booznik]

I just found that spaceman passed out on my doorstep, asking the way to Fucnoe.

I told him, get on the 5 south, keep going 'til you see the green white and red flag.

This should end well.

Might even be a story there.

[mistah willies]

You had an image in your sig line previously: indicated routes in CA. Where would those signs have been located, approx?

[booznik]

You had an image in your sig line previously: indicated routes in CA. Where would those signs have been located, approx?

[Redacted by NSA]

!

You bastards.

Oh well. You can look it up.

[The Urbane Spaceman]

Let’s go see about that thief Sean, shall we?


Necking black rum, what you got?


3. 2. 1. Cheers to you, mighty MDM believer.



Ahhhhhh… Mmmm...



We continue from here.


Now, that punk of considerable girth strode like an evil roi to his vehicle, which looked much like this one.







His actions indicated that he would be driving us to the thief. No asking, no offering, no manners whatsoever. Why was it that Joey and I found ourselves in the company of such strong-willed men every damned day?


Joey and I had plans to return to our apartment after saving Sean, in order to grab our wares, and then shove off to visit the broken church for a punk gathering. (Is a such a group called an anarchy of punks?)


It meant that we would have to rely on Fat Jerry to drive us there from Sean’s.

Perhaps it wasn’t a bad thing after all. We now had our own DD, which meant, “Devilish Dervish.”
I ran back inside to nab some tiny metal envelopes.


When I rejoined the two men, they were leaning against the ride, smoking cigarillos. They had dark shades on their noggins, and they were dressed in all black clothing.


Jerry crushed the lit butt under his boot heal and opened the door for me like a chauffeur. He did the same for Joey on the other side. We held court in the back seat. It felt kind of classy,

...well, as much as any dirt poor punk rocker could feel such poshity back in the day. He had a tune much like this one playing.



It smelled dusty and musty and dank in that long vehicle, I tell you. The scent of formaldehyde emanated from the rear of the cabin. Jerry had spray-painted a skull on the hood and on both forward doors which looked like this.








At least he’d hung black velvet curtains across all the rear windows to stave off the outside sunlight. He blasted his tunes form the sound system that he’d probably won in a card game.


Of course, it was Joey’s idea to mask the stench of rust and decay with a breeze from the hills of the Humboldt County Valley. It worked pretty well, but Jerry said, as he took a long drag, “Holding out on me, eh?”


I whispered to Joey, “He has no fucking idea about that at all!”


Joey laughed and held open his leather jacket. A full bottle of vodka peeked its neck out from the inner pocket. Joey whispered back to me. “He has no idea at all. But he will!”


Onward to Sean and his furry friend.

[booznik]

...Now, that punk of considerable girth strode like an evil roi to his vehicle, which looked much like this one...

That Caddy is the Kraken reincarnated into car form.

Onward to Sean and his furry friend

Urbie, dude. These stories are weird and all, but now there are going to be furries?

Oh. You mean the cross-eyed little hunched-over one. Nevermind. Carrion.

[mistah willies]

I dunno.

I don't think that car can move. Its wheels are all busted

Looks kinda Dry, too


( Oh no he dint )

[oettinger]

I dunno.

I don't think that car can move. Its wheels are all busted

Looks kinda Dry, too


( Oh no he dint )

It`s just a dinosaur sleeping, I look like that on some sundays also.
But put some gold old fashioned high octane fuel into my system and it`s drag racing til the next refill again

[The Urbane Spaceman]

We tried, honestly, we did.

We wanted to be good. But it didn't work out that way for his window.


You see, he wouldn't answer his door, even though he had called us for help. We were his S.O.S. response team. Fat Jerry leaned his weight against the door and it began to groan at the middle. The hinges held tight, and the deadbolt did not waver.


I said, “Wait, let’s think about this. He need help, and he is wigged out of his head, so he won’t answer the door.”


I held my eye to the peephole and could not see a thing. Yup. He’d probably stuffed the thing with a tissue paper or something.


I said, “Well, we will break and enter, but a window pane costs less than a door frame.”


So that is what we did. Always mind your leather. It can help in in any situation. An elbow to the window? Not bad for you at all, if you don’t go too far in. Use all of your might, fast as you can, but prepare to stop just below the surface. You see, it will not make a loud ringing noise like a rock will do. You will not get cut.


Fat Jerry really enjoyed breaking things, so we let him do this. He was giggling all along as he did it. When the sound of the shards hitting the toilet echoed in the apartment, he laughed out loud with glee.


Joey said, “Hey man, don’t be so loud. We could get in trouble for this. Police come: we got some explaining to do, and Sean won’t be able to talk straight. Jeez dude.”


Yeah it was Joey who got lifted up by Jerry and chucked through the window. Jerry was big and Joey was not, but he was fearless. You know, Sean was nowhere to be found. So Joey let us in through the front door. Where was he? Certainly he would not have left his place of safety, in his mental frame of mind?



Here is a song called Picture of Health by Parquet Courts


His shitty apartment was lit up with every light bulb and it was as silent as a tomb in there.


Now, it was not my idea to just start opening up closets and yelling “BOO!” into them. It would have been much better if we talked in reassuring tones and coaxed him out from under the couch, or from the attic, like we were talking to a cat. “Here Seany Seany… I have a nice bowl of warm milk for you.”

Well, we found him inside the closet in the bedroom. He was hidden under a pile of quivering clothing.

“BOO!”


“AGHH! FUCK YOU!”


He kicked his feet and swung his fists through the pants and shirts. He got up very fats for such a big guy and he charged us. That was pretty impressive, I tell you.



Then he saw that it was us when his eyes adjusted to the light, and this did not change his behavior. He was relieved, but also, he was now very angry with us.
It would not be the last time that he and Fat Jerry wrestled, but it sure was fun to watch. Of course, Joey and I stepped out into the hallway as them two men grunted and swung each other about, breaking the bed frame and smashing the table and the lamp on it. The dresser got knocked sideways and that was when Joey and I shouted that enough was enough.


You shouldn't break a dresser. It’s bad form.



“Hey Sean! You called us for help! Now we are here! What is your complaint?!”


It worked.

Sean pushed Fat Jerry away and they both wheezed hard, eyeing each other like angry kindergarten kids.


He coughed a couple times and said, “There’s a lot of spiders in this place!”


But no, there weren't any. He was just under the influence of ZID.


Huh.

How about that.



.

[booznik]

...He coughed a couple times and said, “There’s a lot of spiders in this place!”


But no, there weren't any. He was just under the influence of ZID...

Taken from my own ceiling. No ZID involved.



The spiders are watching and waiting.

[Mr. Viking]

for some reason there is a bumper spider season in the UK. They should be the biggest ever. I found a couple in the car, saw a giant one scurry across the tv. Some stupid fucker even set fire to his house trying to burn one with a deodorant can