Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

oldsmartskunk · Post by **oldsmartskunk** » Sun Apr 19, 2015 5:26 pm

Ahoy my dear landlubbers. Don't mind that pirate greeting. Just want to make you all welcome. As lady gaga would say "it doesn't matter if you love him or bearded transvestite with disgusting hairy nipples". Wait, what was i trying to say? Oh yes, what does a guy do when he is all alone on monday morning? Yeah, i work 48 hours shifts so i have sliding schedule and it turns out i am free when all of you magnificent bastards are working... What do i do? I am getting drunk, shitfaced, hammered and do crap that makes me happy. So this is a tale of boredom, drinking and titties.
It happened on monday. I don't remember exactly when it happened. Or why. How how. It doesn't really matter does it? The fact is, found myself sitting at bar at 10am. Drinking, beer, whiskey and some more of the dame. A saggy tittied waitress came up to me and said i am free in 30 minutes. Who am i to deny a company. Yeah sure, i am free in.. Freaking anytime. We sat and drank. She was nice. i was myself. We went to the bathroom, she showed me her titties. Those were really saggy. was drunk enough to feel some sense of higher intervention so i didn't neglect this golden opportunity and squeezed them. And you wanna good sex story? Fuck if i know if it is possible with my drinking habits and whiskey dickness, but i don't know what hell happened in that bathroom. Only thing i know we ended up in my apartment grabbing and touching. It was disgusting. It really was. I woke up next to a hideous creature. Still drunk. So i kept drinking and she had to go to work. I turned on some dvd's. Walked around naked. Drank some more. 8pm came unexpected. My girlfriend came home and woke me up. I was out cold on the kitchen floor.

Post by **mistah willies** » Sun Apr 19, 2015 7:57 pm

Hell of a True story. Nicely done.

Now look here:

1. Free titties. 'Nuff said.

2. Grabbing and feeling and touching, well, at least the police weren't called. That happens, and it a serious buzz kill, unless there is permission from her. Strange tramps can get you you in a lot of trouble.

3. Walking around nekkid while buzzed? Never a harsh. But stay inside.

4. Girlfriend? Hey, no guilt. Let the cards fall where they do. There is time for honesty, and there are times for excuses.

Did you kill a baby?

NO.

Did you find yourself on a different path?

Maybe the ugliness exists for a specific reason.

It is up to you to decide.

You are the master of your own existence.

Live in lies, or live as you wish.

If I know you, V

then you always eat the whole apple and don't save a bite for anyone else.

Bottle raised in your direction NOW.

Dear Booze · Post by **Dear Booze** » Sun Apr 19, 2015 10:48 pm

Ugly girls need lovin' too. God bless you for your volunteer work.

oldsmartskunk · Post by **oldsmartskunk** » Sun Apr 19, 2015 11:10 pm

I don't remember posting this. Last thing i remember is oettinger in/on his bed.

Post by **oettinger** » Fri Apr 24, 2015 11:29 am

oldsmartskunk wrote:I don't remember posting this. Last thing i remember is oettinger in/on his bed.

That is good right?!
Test for STDs now, I got plenty from my GF.
Damn the itching...brb

Palinka (RIP) · Post by **Palinka (RIP)** » Fri Apr 24, 2015 2:06 pm

oldsmartskunk wrote:I don't remember posting this. Last thing i remember is oettinger in/on his bed.

Well, oettinger certainly fits all three categories of your thread title.

Bur · Post by **Bur** » Thu May 21, 2015 3:13 am

Palinka wrote:
oldsmartskunk wrote:I don't remember posting this. Last thing i remember is oettinger in/on his bed.
Well, oettinger certainly fits all three categories of your thread title.

Made my morning.

givemesomepils · Post by **givemesomepils** » Thu May 21, 2015 1:31 pm

man i would fuck just about anything right now, about 3 days ago i got drunk with my neighbor (she really is beautiful) anyway one thing led to another and around 6am we ended up hooking up for about 10 min she decided to stop leaving me with the worst case of blue balls I have experienced to this day. this is the second time she did that to me, the only other time we did anything she was so drunk she fell asleep mid bj

on a side note my kitten walked up to me and licked my nipple while i was typing this.

oldsmartskunk · Post by **oldsmartskunk** » Fri May 22, 2015 9:18 am

givemesomepills wrote:man i would fuck just about anything right now, about 3 days ago i got drunk with my neighbor (she really is beautiful) anyway one thing led to another and around 6am we ended up hooking up for about 10 min she decided to stop leaving me with the worst case of blue balls I have experienced to this day. this is the second time she did that to me, the only other time we did anything she was so drunk she fell asleep mid bj

on a side note my kitten walked up to me and licked my nipple while i was typing this.

I pity thy misfortune. I found that really beautiful girls sucks at sex and generally have fucked up "i look good, so i am good at everything" personality. Who needs that kind of drama. I prefer watching drunk oettinger rubbing his titties on skype cam. That made me realize there are worse things than no sex. Gives some perspective. You get what you get. Take it. I didn't mean hairy manboobs.

Post by **oettinger** » Fri May 22, 2015 10:45 am

No comment on a lot of things.
So:
No Comment

This thread is saggin off in the wrong direction anyway

givemesomepils · Post by **givemesomepils** » Fri May 22, 2015 7:42 pm

oldsmartskunk wrote:
givemesomepills wrote:man i would fuck just about anything right now, about 3 days ago i got drunk with my neighbor (she really is beautiful) anyway one thing led to another and around 6am we ended up hooking up for about 10 min she decided to stop leaving me with the worst case of blue balls I have experienced to this day. this is the second time she did that to me, the only other time we did anything she was so drunk she fell asleep mid bj

on a side note my kitten walked up to me and licked my nipple while i was typing this.
I pity thy misfortune. I found that really beautiful girls sucks at sex and generally have fucked up "i look good, so i am good at everything" personality. Who needs that kind of drama. I prefer watching drunk oettinger rubbing his titties on skype cam. That made me realize there are worse things than no sex. Gives some perspective. You get what you get. Take it. I didn't mean hairy manboobs.

yeah i still hang out with her, she does have that attitude you described, and how drunk she gets makes her straight up erratic she burned me with a cigarette because i asked her to leave my house one time. right now shes passed out next to me she kept making blue Hawaiians until she got asked to leave where we were before.

oldsmartskunk · Post by **oldsmartskunk** » Sat May 23, 2015 2:05 am

Once i tried to seduce a really hot chick. I succeeded, but it was not worth it. Total disappointment. Bitch messed my place up, and acted like crazy. And her excuse was "yeah, i'm a drunk bitch". I threw her out. And handed her shoes over the doorstep. She made so much noise on her way out, my neighbours called the police.
Situation just proves the point. As a drunkard gentleman one must have refined taste in women - grab anyone who is willing to have sex with you, especially desperate ones. Avoid bitchy type beauties. And in your case - when she will pass out do a "dirty sanchez" - stick a finger up her ass and draw stereotypical Mexican moustaches . She deserved em.

Post by **oettinger** » Sat May 23, 2015 8:37 am

oldsmartskunk wrote:Once i tried to seduce a really hot chick. I succeeded, but it was not worth it. Total disappointment. Bitch messed my place up, and acted like crazy. And her excuse was "yeah, i'm a drunk bitch". I threw her out. And handed her shoes over the doorstep. She made so much noise on her way out, my neighbours called the police.

Wow wow wow, I would never treat my sister like you just did.

oldsmartskunk · Post by **oldsmartskunk** » Sat May 23, 2015 12:26 pm

oettinger wrote:
oldsmartskunk wrote:Once i tried to seduce a really hot chick. I succeeded, but it was not worth it. Total disappointment. Bitch messed my place up, and acted like crazy. And her excuse was "yeah, i'm a drunk bitch". I threw her out. And handed her shoes over the doorstep. She made so much noise on her way out, my neighbours called the police.
Wow wow wow, I would never treat my sister like you just did.

Plow thy German arse landlubber!

givemesomepils · Post by **givemesomepils** » Sat May 23, 2015 7:03 pm

oldsmartskunk wrote:Once i tried to seduce a really hot chick. I succeeded, but it was not worth it. Total disappointment. Bitch messed my place up, and acted like crazy. And her excuse was "yeah, i'm a drunk bitch".

yeah she talked to me last night, and told me she see's demons (not joking), wanted me to help her put syringes at her parents as a cry for help (not joking), and she cried for about 15 mins which turned into a 30min laughing spell that ended with her telling me it was the demons that were making her laugh (not joking) also she was was pretty drunk, compared to how undrunk i felt as i sat and watched this person have a fucking meltdown.

everything i just said really happened last night, no kidding i have never been so scared of 112 pound girl.

Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.

Re: Drinking, saggy titties and general boredom.