Last Night I...

[Casual Binger]

...went n bought fish n chips. Normally I'd pop over to the pub across the road from the chippie while my order was being done, but I'd taken my older boy with me, so I kept an eye on him while I waited. I got three pieces of crumbed Hoki n five dollars of chips with vinegar on them. Back home I opened my second last bottle of home brew. English style bitter supposedly. Nice enough, but it's a starter not a finisher if you know what I mean. After that I switched to Coopers Red n Montieths Gold. Once the kids were bathed n in bed asleep I stayed up reading a serialised David Wellington vampire novel on the iPad n eating flat cut potato chips dipped in tomato sauce...

[mistah willies]

...celebrated my wife's birthday at this place called 11 Central: high falootin' fancy dress (read: old people wearing all their gold and jewels, eating $20 Caesar salads and nursing $15 glasses of red wine) and then we Injuns come busting in and hotting and hollering, shooting pistols. Well, just about like that. Lots of snooty stares down loooong noses, but then I got me some of the best local stout form the tap in a tall glass (22oz) which is known as Sea Dog. Damn fine. I'm the one who orders and gets his drink first, and then the next one, while folks are still making up their friggin minds about the first one. I need better compny sometimes, huh.






I didn't get wrecked all night, I stayed away form the hard stuff, because food was involved. after they got their drinks and I was one my second out of the four of them there tasty bitches, I asked the bartender, "What is this thing here on the drink menu? Harviestoun Old Engine Oil Engineer's reserve? 8% ABV, so it says."





She says, "No one drank it, so it's gone. We have none left. need to print out new menus I guess." I was interested, but not too bummed. Sounded like a devilish sort of brew. we put away huge sea scallops on them pan-sauteed spinach leaves, and some sorta Maine lobester with fluffy pastry, just before we got those NY strips with shrimp on top in a cream sauce. Mind you, we had my Dotta and her man, plus my boy (He's 30) and his DRY lady, plus a young Injun and his pregnant woman. We all laughing because we are like that. LOUD. Old folks snort and grab the remainders of their romaine lettuice and snoot off into the night, all hunched over, counting their gold pennies. Then, the bartnder, she comes back with a big smile on her face. Yup... She has a bottle of that Engine Oil.







I couold have sworn, whene i first read it, that it read, "Injun Oil" because that would be great, right? I smiled big. She said, "you wnzat me to chill this?" i said, "What, it's been siting out back?" she said, "Yup. Sorry about that." I said, "Hell no! It's menat to be drank at backroom temps! Just as long as it wasn't over the stove!" She cracked it open and said, "you want a fresh glass?" I said, "No, that ain't necessary. I'll use this one here, it'll do just fine." That stuff, man, I tell you, it poured like molasses. Even the head, the foam, it was dark brown. I imagined what my teeth woould look like after. Like when them Italians drink their espresso or someshit. I tasted like deep roasted malt. It had that perfect, hidden wink from hops from way off in the next alley, but it also had chocolate notes in it. That was different. I had to share it with others. Except for the DRY chick and the pregnant Lady of course. The drinking girls had some of those fancy martinis which aren't technically a Martini, but the first rule of DRINKing is that if it floats your goat, then there's no gloat. Don't be a chump, nor an arsehole. After we closed the place down, (came to about $800, but I nsaved up for HER night out, because I'm cool like that, me a broke ass Injun) we mosied over to Dotta''s flat and they sparked, I simply smoked cigs. Dotta's man handed me somehting I didn't know exsisted. It was "Scot Ale, named Big CHub. 8%ABV.






Man, that was like candy. Not msoky at all, but them hops were a little bit pronounced, for not being an IPA. Supposed to be a but brown. Oh well (Can you tell I'm not a hopster?) It went down very well. we got home in the next hoor, and it was back to PBRs and black squid ink. In a few hours, we gonna go shoot her Browining 30.06 which should be fun. She has tags for some big game, but let's just get to know her new friend, ain't that right? Hey, i'll be back to do more drinking tin the afternoon, about 12 hours form now, in case there's any news. I'm going into the deep woods of Maine. Yessah, and fucking a-men, chummy. Out.

[shawnonious]

Open high-end bars are a God-Send. I much prefer Old-Chub when it's in the Nitro cans. The regular carbed ones are eh to me. I have had a couple in my fridge for like two months probably. Come to St. Louis before I get desperate enough to drink 'em and they're all yours. I hear that on the "Snobs looking down their noses figuring out what they were going to drink as I got my second drink" at the open bars for something like that. Last reception I was at, I hung out while the bartender set up, got my beer and whiskey, killed em, and got another round before anybody realized the bar was open.

[Casual Binger]

Can't imagine why no one was ordering a beer called Old Engine Oil. What is it with the names craft brewers give their beers? Aussie offerings include Mountain Goat, Two Birds, Fat Yak, Black Giraffe, Sly Fox, Brown Duck. Notice a pattern here? I should start naming my homebrews Rambunctious Peacock or Purple Rabbit or some shit.

Sounds like a great night. If I dropped $800 on a dinner for wife's birthday she'd pay me out for being spendthrift. Maybe I need to acclimatise her.

[mistah willies]

Precocious Peacock. Wait, presumptuous Peacock. no. Wait. Pretentious arsehat. That's it! I know, folks get all proud of their brew, or at least they are trying to shout their name as loud as they can over the din of all the others. That's why we Injuns call it dinner. Speaking of which, this here broke-ass Injun is saving up for her next year birthday party. no idea what will happen then. Hopefully it will be good. Today, we sat and called, but no moose came in for her. We saw someone who chased a moose down into a gully that was nothing but busted roots from the giant skidders and logging operations. He and his bros had to quarter it up and carry it out that way. Fuck that shit. Takes too long and the meat will begin to spoil, and chasing an animal fills the muscles with adrenaline and fear and pain. Blecch. Always wondered how kangaroo tastes?

[oettinger]

my Dotta and her man

Oh boy, Mr. Viking, i got bad news for you.

Yessah, and fucking a-men, chummy.

Hahahahahahaa, sorry, I read: "And fucking a man."

[mistah willies]

Yessah, and fucking a-men, chummy.

Hahahahahahaa, sorry, I read: "And fucking a man."[/quote]

Shhh...

We will not talk about the ride home

[Casual Binger]

Precocious Peacock. Wait, presumptuous Peacock. no. Wait. Pretentious arsehat. That's it! I know, folks get all proud of their brew, or at least they are trying to shout their name as loud as they can over the din of all the others. That's why we Injuns call it dinner. Speaking of which, this here broke-ass Injun is saving up for her next year birthday party. no idea what will happen then. Hopefully it will be good. Today, we sat and called, but no moose came in for her. We saw someone who chased a moose down into a gully that was nothing but busted roots from the giant skidders and logging operations. He and his bros had to quarter it up and carry it out that way. Fuck that shit. Takes too long and the meat will begin to spoil, and chasing an animal fills the muscles with adrenaline and fear and pain. Blecch. Always wondered how kangaroo tastes?

I had kangaroo for lunch yesterday, it's not that great. A slightly sharper, more bitter taste than beef. No idea how it's raised. Apparently it's mostly wild. I Imagine two guys called Kevin n Ricky in a ute with spotlights, but it's probably a crew of guys in hi-viz gear with stun guns, or shooting darts from a chopper maybe. Washed it down with a James Squire One Fifty Lashes, a glass of Margaret River Chenin Blanc n a Little Creatures Pale Ale.

[mistah willies]

Huh. Kangaroo probably tastes something akin to muskrat, which is also an herbivore. This one favors flag root, which is extremely fragrant, of the mint family. You are what you eat, as it were. I've heard about Polynesian ladies and all the fruit they eat, but probably a misnomer. Then again, there are tales of how men in a submarine smell like bovines when they sweat, to those who eat canines. And vice versa... Last night I made a moose stew with turnip, taters, carrots and onions, and some snow pea pods for color. Four of "Maine's Best IPA" (their actual business name) was not overtly pungent. A fellow could get used to drinking IPA. I prefer a nut brown or stout. Speaking of Moose meat, I wonder how I smell to others when I sweat...

[AntonArkydivich]

Huh. Kangaroo probably tastes something akin to muskrat, which is also an herbivore. This one favors flag root, which is extremely fragrant, of the mint family. You are what you eat, as it were. I've heard about Polynesian ladies and all the fruit they eat, but probably a misnomer. Then again, there are tales of how men in a submarine smell like bovines when they sweat, to those who eat canines. And vice versa... Last night I made a moose stew with turnip, taters, carrots and onions, and some snow pea pods for color. Four of "Maine's Best IPA" (their actual business name) was not overtly pungent. A fellow could get used to drinking IPA. I prefer a nut brown or stout. Speaking of Moose meat, I wonder how I smell to others when I sweat...

Oh man, I miss moose so much. Growing up in Alaska spoiled me. Raw moose hamburger, mixed with egg, garlic, chopped onion and pickles, and washed down with cheap whiskey and beer...

Hold on, I gotta get a tissue, I'm starting to tear up.

And East Coast IPA's are so much more balanced then their Pacific counterparts. "Hey, let's dump a shit-ton of hops into this to cover up any semblance of trying and convince people they're pussies if they don't like it!"

I wonder how I smell to others when I sweat...

Cheap gin and patchouli?

[oettinger]

You just got drink in your eyes, tear up some more.

Garlic hamburgers? I might kill one of the dogs.

Free fur coats on your tongue sunday morning

[mistah willies]

You just got drink in your eyes, tear up some more.

Garlic hamburgers? I might kill one of the dogs.

Free fur coats on your tongue sunday morning

Furry tongue: Many things can cause this.