Drunk Travel Log

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator

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oettinger
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by oettinger »

Dear Booze wrote:
Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:08 pm
As it turns out, toothless woman is a nurse. "Ah had a payshent who kept askin' fa coffee evra fiteen minutes. Fuck dat guy. Dis is mah frah-die. Ahm here ra drank. Wannah buy me a drank?"
I`d rather nurse myself than her perform on me, casts and all
Drink!
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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

This is my final business trip of the season, and I am back in Monterey, California, Steinbeck's town. I'm still undrunk at this point with only one Guinness and one Captain & Coke under my belt.

It's 7:45 PM. I started the night at the Crown & Anchor, a British pub in the Downtown/Marina area. I'm now at Segovia's, my favorite dump in Monterey. Drinks arw cheap and strong, and the bartender is great.
DRINK!

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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

It's been a couple hours and I am now drunkie. Brandonman has kept me me company with questions about rosacea. Cheers fuckers.
DRINK!

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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Totally drunk. Time me to fight, fuck, or buy snacks. I love this town.
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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Happy fucking Cinco de Mayo, fellow drunkards. On this day, at this very moment (5:20 AM), I sit at a airport bar awaiting a flight to Mexico. Funny thing about Mexico. It is the one country that does not celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Weird, huh? Hell the Mexicans don't even know what it is.

But the real pount is that I'm sitting here at the bar but can not order a drink. They don't serve until 6 AM.
DRINK!

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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Regarding Cinco de fucking Mayo...

The fifth of May marks the anniversary of the Mexican army’s 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War. But here is what really happened. And it's really not holiday-worthy.

The Mexicans knew the French were coming, so all the farmers and townfolk got together and waited.

When the French arrived, they were greatly outnumbered. They didn't stand a chance. The battle was over is less than 24 hours. The Mexicans hi fived one another and got drunk as the French assholes backed up quickly and retreated to safety.

But while the Mexicans were celebrating their lopsided win, the French assholes were regrouping, making new plans, and refueling their arsenal of Weapons of Mexican Destruction.

Some time later, The French returned, kicked the shit outta the Mexicans, took over the country and ruled for several years. But it didn't take long for them to grow tired of enchiladas and chronic diarrhea. So they packed up and left. Adios French fuckers. All that killing for nothin'.

And here we are, Cinco de fucking Mayo. A celebration about nothing. It's like someone with chronic constipation who has one good shit in their lifetime and throws an annual party to remember it.

But whatever. I'll play along. How about a Run e Coca? Pour favor.
DRINK!

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oettinger
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by oettinger »

Fuckín french, fuckin mexicans

Enjoy your Mayonnese
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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Mazatlan. The hotel where we are staying is a couple of hard miles to town. The only bars that are open now are poolside bars, which suck. The good irish bar opens in a half hour. So, here I sit, sipping shitty Mexican beer for 30 more minutes.
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oettinger
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by oettinger »

There are rumors floating around, say, you`ve been drunk this morning?
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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

The rumors were correct. I was fairly shit housed on Saturday night. Upon arriving in Mazatlan, Mrs Booze and I drank a fair bit. And then we drank a bit more. And she decided to pass out early. So I headed to Kelly's bar, sat outside so that I could smoke, and drank the shit out of a number of Rum and Cokes. There was a fun Skype session with Artful Detective and Badfellow where we discussed Minnie Ripperton and the pros and cons of a number of music and movie stars. After logging off, I went inside and sat at the bar and listened to some blowhard tell me about his days as a "US Air Force special opps" agent. I got tired and told him he was full of shit and challenged him to a fight. He backed down. The funny thing was that I told him about my days serving on a Navy mine sweeper during Desert Storm. My stories were also untrue.
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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Every once in a while, everyone gets lucky and gets a little more drunk that their fair share. Today was Mrs Booze's day. We started off with golf at Marina Mazatlan and a cooler full of beer. She powered through those. Then we went off to find some local bars.

It's is too fucking hot here, so we plowed through about 5 cocktails each.

And she hit a wall. I got her some food and lots of water. But nothing helped. So I got her into a cab and back to the hotel. She is passed out and will not remember anythinf past noon.

And I'm back at Kelly's bar on a solo mission.
DRINK!

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Are you still enjoying that Cartel Nacho Platter? (hehe thanks Badfellow).
Okole maluna!

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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Mon May 07, 2018 5:58 pm
Are you still enjoying that Cartel Nacho Platter? (hehe thanks Badfellow).
It is delisioso. There is likely not a more elemental Mexican dish than nachos. It is frequently looked down on as the lowbrow foodstuff of bowling alleys and movie theater snack bars. But most everyone secretly loves nachos, a dish that marries flavor and texture in beautiful and delicious ways. If you're a secret (or not-so-secret) aficionado of nachos, consider paying a visit to Juan's Authentic "I'll fuck you up if you don't give me what I want cuisine" Mexican restaurant on Lopez Road, where the nachos are made in their full and abundant glory. Get the Supreme Nachos, which are loaded with your choice of beef or chicken (the ground beef seems to work the best), plus generous scatterings of bullet holes, green onions, beans, and of course, dead bodies with melty, buttery cheese. It's no secret that it's delightful.
DRINK!

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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Went to bed late due to a bar that kept serving me drinks. Even after I told them "no mas"

Woke up feeling just fine. Spent the day at the pool reading a book about the guys who started the Absolute Poker online site.

There's a guy at the pool who kept Mrs Booze and me in a continuous flow of drinks.
DRINK!

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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Another day spent by the pool. We indeded to spend an hour down thete, but ended up meeting some Wahiontonians who were fun. We drank girly drinks from 10:30 Am until 4:30 PM. Gotta get some food. Then real drinks.

BTW, I peed in the pool at least six times.
DRINK!

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