Drunk Travel Log

[Dear Booze]

I started the work-related travel season today and have just arrived in Pleasanton, CA. This town is whatever the opposite of "pleasant". It sucks. Shittyville? Sucks Balls Meadows? Craprown?

Craptown ladies sing this song
Doo doo, doo doo.

The Pleasanton Marriott is NOT close to any bar. But it has a lounge that closes at eleven fucking o'clock.

Rum and coke is ten fucking dollars.

[Dear Booze]

It's official. This is the worst work-related trip ever. There is not one single bar anywhere within walking distance to my hotel.

How am I supposed to get anything done?

[Dear Booze]

found a bar 8 miles away. drank a bit

[oettinger]

Bring your own stuff next time

[Artful Drunktective]

^ ^ ^That's what I do most of the time and then Uber / Lyft to a bar across town.

[Dear Booze]

I have never had such an awful experience as the trip I took this week. Although I did manage to eventually get black-out drunk, It just wasn't fun.

Typically, on this type of trip I like to find a local bar where I can go and get shitty all by myself. If I'm teavelling with cool people, I don't mind drinking with them too.

On this trip, I was traveling with very uncool people and there were no local bars.

The three co workers (all female) and I went to dinner one night and we did some drankin. But they are inexperienced and stupid. One of them fell down at one point and a different one is the type that gets horny when she drinks. She wouldn't let up with trying to get me to fuck her. I guess I'm now part of the #MeToo group.

All in all, It was a super shitty night of drinking. Which, to me, is a wasted night being wasted.

[Artful Drunktective]

She wouldn't let up with trying to get me to fuck her. I guess I'm now part of the #MeToo group.

Ha! That's funny. Unless you feel violated of course. You should start a #HeToo group.

Sorry that your trip sucked. I've had my share as well but usually I can always make the best of it if I have a bottle in my mini fridge. Drink my boredom and sorrows away on the cum stained hotel bedspread. Good times right there. Good times.

[Patchez]

DB don't you Google Maps the hotel and see what is close to it before you book? You've got to know the area.

[Dear Booze]

DB don't you Google Maps the hotel and see what is close to it before you book? You've got to know the area.

The website said they had a bar at the hotel. True. But fuck, it didn't say they closed at 11:00!

That's some important information.

[Patchez]

DB don't you Google Maps the hotel and see what is close to it before you book? You've got to know the area.

The website said they had a bar at the hotel. True. But fuck, it didn't say they closed at 11:00!

That's some important information.

Never trust those places. They just want your money. The websites will lie to get you there. Always Yelp it or Trip Advisor it.

[ScottMcG]

The website said they had a bar at the hotel. True. But fuck, it didn't say they closed at 11:00!

That's some important information.

That's cruel! Closing at 11 when you have out of town guests is sadistic. What kind of sick fuck even operates such a facility?

[Dear Booze]

The website said they had a bar at the hotel. True. But fuck, it didn't say they closed at 11:00!

That's some important information.

That's cruel! Closing at 11 when you have out of town guests is sadistic. What kind of sick fuck even operates such a facility?

Well, it's a Marriott... so the answer is Mormans. Mormans are the sadistic sick fucks who operate such a facility.

[mistah willies]

The website said they had a bar at the hotel. True. But fuck, it didn't say they closed at 11:00!

That's some important information.

That's cruel! Closing at 11 when you have out of town guests is sadistic. What kind of sick fuck even operates such a facility?

Well, it's a Marriott... so the answer is Mormans. Mormans are the sadistic sick fucks who operate such a facility.

Them Moarmans must be wearing full-body tighty whiteys underneath their disguises much like cloaks with pillow cases for hoods. Is their under-mining due to them being in cahoots with those dastardly DRYs?

We simply must fight against them DRYs. We chug our bottles and use these as armament. Let us fill their salty desert with the mighty piss of our wisdom and enjoyment of life!

DRINK, you're our only hope.

[Dear Booze]

I'm on tbe rosd again. This week, I'm in Monterey, CA. Nice thing about this town is that one of my favorite bars in the world is here. Segovia's.

There's a toothless woman talking about "doin' mah taxes" and "drinkin' sahngeria"; a big black guy talking about "all my baby mamas"; and one very patient bartender.

[Dear Booze]

As it turns out, toothless woman is a nurse. "Ah had a payshent who kept askin' fa coffee evra fiteen minutes. Fuck dat guy. Dis is mah frah-die. Ahm here ra drank. Wannah buy me a drank?"