The Jimmy Lester Chronicles

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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mistah willies
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Re: Jimmy Lester, Part XI

Post by mistah willies »

A good slow build with solid backstory builds a proper foundation for an epic tale.

This appears to be happening.

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Dear Booze
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Jimmy Lester, Part XII

Post by Dear Booze »

By closing time, the Acme Tavern was packed. Mostly with college kids. Shit. It was a cluster fuck. Telegraph Road is lined with bars and they all closed at the same time. And none of the shit kids were ready to leave. They were just standing around on the sidewalk smoking cigarettes and trying to get laid. Fuck. Move on!

Jack’s car was parked directly across the street from where we were but there were so many people out on the streets that we were unable to move it. Worse yet, there were cars just sitting in the middle of the road as their drivers leaned out the windows talking to other people. It was like some sort of drunk American Graffiti scene.

Jack and Mike got in the car while Danny and I acted like traffic cops trying to get the other fucking cars moving. But then everything went to shit.

A girl in a little BMW told Danny to fuck off. Then her boyfriend leaned across from the passenger seat and flicked a cigarette out of the driver’s side window, directly at Danny’s face.

Mother. Fucker.

I pushed Danny out of the way and leaned in through the driver’s window, pushed the stupid cunt backwards in her seat, reached across and grabbed her asshole boyfriend by the hair with my left hand and began to pummel him in the face with my right hand. It was pretty funny. The asshole had his seat belt on and he was unable to move. Meanwhile, in between every punch I threw, as I cocked back to throw another, my right elbow kept smashing the girl on the right side of her face. Finally he had the sense to release his seatbelt and was able to land a pretty solid right jab right above my left eye. Then he jumped out of the passenger door. So I ran around to meet him. I guess he pussied out because it looked like he hesitated. There he was, the door was open and he was standing between the door and the car. Jesus. That’s the stupidest thing he could have done. Naturally I kicked the door into his body with enough force to make his knees buckle. Then I grabbed him by the hair again, drug him a few feet away, and continued to beat him senseless.

After several direct blows to his stupid fucking face, I decided that the guy had enough and let him go. I waited for a couple seconds to make sure he wasn’t gonna make a move. Then I gave him one quick kick to his ribs and walked away. Shit, the whole thing happened so fast that there really wasn’t much time to draw a crowd. I don’t think anyone noticed what was happening. Well, except for the two fuckheads who got their asses beat.

I walked calmly to the car, where Jack, Mike and Danny were waiting, climbed into the back seat and sat quietly as we drove off in the darkness.



At three o’clock, the following afternoon, we met with Steven’s attorney, Ben Coslow. We found out that we were the new owners of not only the house and it’s furnishings in the Oakland Hills, but also part of a retirement home, part of a private school, a large amount of stock in several electronics companies, and restaurant chains, a small amount of property in Montana, a handful of conservative long-term market investments. It was hard determine exactly what the entire estate was worth and would likely take a considerable amount of time and work to come up with an exact number. But Mr. Coslow estimated it to be at least $8,000,000.
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Re: Jimmy Lester, Part XII

Post by oettinger »

Weren`t you be supposed to be on a conference in monterey? This is probably the only productive thing it produced between your bar visits.

You also seem to really, really hate college kids. Who doesn`t!

Back to the story on hand:
Dear Booze wrote:
Thu Feb 23, 2017 12:18 pm
8,000,000.
And got sued by the little fuck over it later on?
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Re: Jimmy Lester, Part XII

Post by oldsmartskunk »

Description of that fistfight was epic. Holy shit, i live in a fuckin zoo of a country so stuff like this happens all the time. Yet, it feels good reading it.

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Re: Jimmy Lester, Part XII

Post by oettinger »

oldsmartskunk wrote:
Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:15 pm
i live in a fuckin zoo of a country so stuff like this happens all the time.
"Don`t feed the animals" it reads on sings at the barbwired border.

Alcohol, cigarettes and peanuts is a big No No!
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Re: Jimmy Lester, Part XII

Post by Casual Binger »

Well, you were right about him being an arsehole. Bad employee, bad husband, bad father, bad customer, now all-around badass. I'm no fan of spoilt kids who's parents buy them luxury cars before they're old enough to have held a real job and learned the value of money, but I prefer them to violent psychos who lose their shit when kids are crowding the street after the bars close on St. Patricks Day. Guys like that give drinking a bad name. There are enough of them in my town, and they're the reason you can't buy a neat whiskey due to the Liquor Accord, which is designed, and fails, to prevent such incidents.

Maybe Jimmy will spent sometime inside before he meets his fate?

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Re: Jimmy Lester, Part XII

Post by oldsmartskunk »

Casual Binger wrote:
Tue Feb 28, 2017 1:49 pm
...violent psychos who lose their shit when kids are crowding the street after the bars close on St. Patricks Day. Guys like that give drinking a bad name. There are enough of them in my town, and they're the reason you can't buy a neat whiskey due to the Liquor Accord, which is designed, and fails, to prevent such incidents.
Assholes are assholes when they are undrunk. Some people turn to assholes when they are drunk. Some are assholes when they undrunk up. Balance of life! Alcohol is not the issue here,but it certainly can bring your issues to the surface. Jimmy Lester wasn't born this way. I guess this is how he dealt with all the shit in his life.

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Re: Jimmy Lester, Part XII

Post by mistah willies »

You know, he tells a hell of a tale, especially when you consider that he's dead. Sunset Blvd sort of thing.

Speaking of assholes, sometimes Skype is not for the faint of heart..

Unless you know we're all just a bunch of endrunkened bastards.

But that Jimmy Fucking Lester,

,,,well, he's not for the faint of dead. That Friggin guy tanks the cake

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Jimmy Lester, Part XIII

Post by Dear Booze »

My brothers and I were all stunned. If we immediately divided the Barco estate, we would inherit at least two million dollars each. The problem was, none of the assets were in cash. And liquidating everything would be idiotic. So, with Ben Coslow’s help, we agreed on a plan. We would sell all of the furniture and personal property located at the house, and soon after, we would sell the house. We would also sell the Montana property, and some of the restaurant stock. We would keep everything else for the time being, but we would manage all of the investments through a trust.

One of the challenges was that we needed to have someone in Oakland to manage the task of liquidating the personal property. So I volunteered to quit my job, give up my apartment and move to the Barco house until everything was gone. It would only take a few months, but it had to be done. My brothers agreed that I was best suited for the job and also agreed that I would receive a stipend of $1,000 a month plus miscellaneous expenses while working on this project.

To me, this was fantastic. I would live in a nice house, for free, and I would get a grand a month. This was a very good deal. The only thing I had to do was sell off furniture and all the other old shit.

Then, on April 3, I got a call from my brother Jack. The Fresno County Sheriff’s office paid him a visit regarding a felony assault case out of Alameda County. Fuck. Those shit kids from Telegraph Road traced Jack down from his car’s license plate
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Re: Jimmy Lester, Part XIII

Post by Casual Binger »

The brief moment at the top of the roller coaster, before the plunge.

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Re: Jimmy Lester, Part XIII

Post by mistah willies »

That's a powefil

powrful distialltion, and as always hell of a punch

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Re: Jimmy Lester, Part XIII

Post by oettinger »

Slowly the suspects who ran Jimmy over narrow down to:
- A bunch of pissed off college kids
- His brothers, claiming he gave away for free/broke the furniture and burned the house while drunk. Or worse told them and took all the money himself
- an old random woman


On another note,
Jimmy, didn`t you mention some family member living next to a hospital doing experiments with babys?
I recently saw an interview with some japanese guy talking about the government doing that to american people using radiation in the 50s and 60s.
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