Bernie's Bar review:

fiyah · Post by **fiyah** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 2:45 am

"bernies bar best bloody marys in town, NOT A PLACE FOR SINGLE POOR GIRLS, THE NIGHT BARTENDER WILL KICK YOU OUT FOR "SOLICTING A DRINK, OR CIGARETTES"!!!AND IF YOU DO GO, ASK WHO THEIR BOYFRIEND IS, SO YOU WONT "HIT UP ON THEM"!!!"‎ - by tracy carlucci

Think I'll have to visit this shanty..

ThirstyDrunk · Post by **ThirstyDrunk** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 2:57 am

but I like single poor girls

Jiggers McCoy · Post by **Jiggers McCoy** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 12:34 pm

Nah, single rich girls are where it's at.

Wingman · Post by **Wingman** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 12:46 pm

if her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal.
if her daddy's poor, just do what you feel.

Bur · Post by **Bur** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 2:46 pm

Wingman wrote:if her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal.
if her daddy's poor, just do what you feel.

Classy guy, you be.

peetie44 · Post by **peetie44** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 2:59 pm

Bur wrote:
Wingman wrote:if her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal.
if her daddy's poor, just do what you feel.
Classy guy, you be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_E8OpX2At4

Wingman · Post by **Wingman** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 7:29 pm

peetie44 wrote: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_E8OpX2At4

"we're not dirty, we're not mean.
we love everybody, but we do as we please."

it's like he had savannah in mind....

"in the summer, we go fishin', or go swimming in the sea...."

Two Hearted · Post by **Two Hearted** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:14 pm

"Have a Pall Mall, Honey."

Post by **Badfellow** » Thu Jun 23, 2011 1:08 pm

"Pa, yer crushin my smokes!"

DeeboCools · Post by **DeeboCools** » Thu Jun 23, 2011 4:27 pm

don't know what kind of old-timey shit is going on here but I can't wait to marry up and be a male gold-digger househusband. Seems like a good deal. I'd clean the whole house on beer and fix my wife a cocktail for when she got off and get started on dinner. Then I'd give myself to her. She makes all the money, after all. She could even knock me around a bit.

Post by **Mr Boozificator** » Thu Jun 23, 2011 6:49 pm

DeeboCools wrote:don't know what kind of old-timey shit is going on here but I can't wait to marry up and be a male gold-digger househusband. Seems like a good deal. I'd clean the whole house on beer and fix my wife a cocktail for when she got off and get started on dinner. Then I'd give myself to her. She makes all the money, after all. She could even knock me around a bit.

THAT does make sense.

Post by **Judge** » Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:28 pm

DeeboCools wrote:don't know what kind of old-timey shit is going on here but I can't wait to marry up and be a male gold-digger househusband. Seems like a good deal. I'd clean the whole house on beer and fix my wife a cocktail for when she got off and get started on dinner. Then I'd give myself to her. She makes all the money, after all. She could even knock me around a bit.

I don't doubt your sincere intent. However as I read your proffered skills I have this scene running through my noggin:

"I'd clean the whole house on beer"- I'll get up at 11, grab a beer, fuck off on the intertron for an hour, empty the kitchen garbage because it smells. Find some food. Take a nap. Have more beer and realize its close to 3. Shove the dishes in the washer and run about 'straightening' things, run the vacuum around the front room to make some tracks that are noticeable. At 3:15 feeling good about myself, take off to the grocery and buy a frozen lasagna and bag of salad. Now that I've taken care of dinner treat myself to time at the local for some well deserved commarderie. After a few beers or 5 amble on home and dump the half defrosted lasagne in the oven.

"Fix my wife a cocktail":
She comes home and I pour her a glass of wine from last chardonnay in the house because I didn't get around to buying more when I was laying in another 3 30 packs.

"then I give myself to her"
Putting on my best Rico Suave moves I drop my board shorts on the carpet by the unemptied cat box and tell her 'hey baby, over here...you've earned it". She strides across the room unfortunately meeting my shoes left in the middle of the room, stumbling a bit and makes a seemingly disparaging comment about my lack of visible evidence of being able to 'rock her world'.

My clumsy left hand grab to her right breast runs wide and I end up slapping the cheap wine out of her hand and fall over backwards hitting my head on the base of the coffee table. Then as promised she "even knocks me around a bit." Well maybe more than a bit. But then I rarely remember the next morning when she's off to work and I'm thinking I should stay in bed a bit longer to soothe this throbber of a headache.

I really should clean the kitchen.

Two Hearted · Post by **Two Hearted** » Fri Jun 24, 2011 9:30 am

Judge wrote:
DeeboCools wrote:don't know what kind of old-timey shit is going on here but I can't wait to marry up and be a male gold-digger househusband. Seems like a good deal. I'd clean the whole house on beer and fix my wife a cocktail for when she got off and get started on dinner. Then I'd give myself to her. She makes all the money, after all. She could even knock me around a bit.
I don't doubt your sincere intent. However as I read your proffered skills I have this scene running through my noggin:

"I'd clean the whole house on beer"- I'll get up at 11, grab a beer, fuck off on the intertron for an hour, empty the kitchen garbage because it smells. Find some food. Take a nap. Have more beer and realize its close to 3. Shove the dishes in the washer and run about 'straightening' things, run the vacuum around the front room to make some tracks that are noticeable. At 3:15 feeling good about myself, take off to the grocery and buy a frozen lasagna and bag of salad. Now that I've taken care of dinner treat myself to time at the local for some well deserved commarderie. After a few beers or 5 amble on home and dump the half defrosted lasagne in the oven.

"Fix my wife a cocktail":
She comes home and I pour her a glass of wine from last chardonnay in the house because I didn't get around to buying more when I was laying in another 3 30 packs.

"then I give myself to her"
Putting on my best Rico Suave moves I drop my board shorts on the carpet by the unemptied cat box and tell her 'hey baby, over here...you've earned it". She strides across the room unfortunately meeting my shoes left in the middle of the room, stumbling a bit and makes a seemingly disparaging comment about my lack of visible evidence of being able to 'rock her world'.

My clumsy left hand grab to her right breast runs wide and I end up slapping the cheap wine out of her hand and fall over backwards hitting my head on the base of the coffee table. Then as promised she "even knocks me around a bit." Well maybe more than a bit. But then I rarely remember the next morning when she's off to work and I'm thinking I should stay in bed a bit longer to soothe this throbber of a headache.

I really should clean the kitchen.

I laughed out loud. Well done.

JohnnyT · Post by **JohnnyT** » Fri Jun 24, 2011 2:06 pm

fiyah · Post by **fiyah** » Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:19 am

Judge wrote:
DeeboCools wrote:don't know what kind of old-timey shit is going on here but I can't wait to marry up and be a male gold-digger househusband. Seems like a good deal. I'd clean the whole house on beer and fix my wife a cocktail for when she got off and get started on dinner. Then I'd give myself to her. She makes all the money, after all. She could even knock me around a bit.
I don't doubt your sincere intent. However as I read your proffered skills I have this scene running through my noggin:

"I'd clean the whole house on beer"- I'll get up at 11, grab a beer, fuck off on the intertron for an hour, empty the kitchen garbage because it smells. Find some food. Take a nap. Have more beer and realize its close to 3. Shove the dishes in the washer and run about 'straightening' things, run the vacuum around the front room to make some tracks that are noticeable. At 3:15 feeling good about myself, take off to the grocery and buy a frozen lasagna and bag of salad. Now that I've taken care of dinner treat myself to time at the local for some well deserved commarderie. After a few beers or 5 amble on home and dump the half defrosted lasagne in the oven.

"Fix my wife a cocktail":
She comes home and I pour her a glass of wine from last chardonnay in the house because I didn't get around to buying more when I was laying in another 3 30 packs.

"then I give myself to her"
Putting on my best Rico Suave moves I drop my board shorts on the carpet by the unemptied cat box and tell her 'hey baby, over here...you've earned it". She strides across the room unfortunately meeting my shoes left in the middle of the room, stumbling a bit and makes a seemingly disparaging comment about my lack of visible evidence of being able to 'rock her world'.

My clumsy left hand grab to her right breast runs wide and I end up slapping the cheap wine out of her hand and fall over backwards hitting my head on the base of the coffee table. Then as promised she "even knocks me around a bit." Well maybe more than a bit. But then I rarely remember the next morning when she's off to work and I'm thinking I should stay in bed a bit longer to soothe this throbber of a headache.

I really should clean the kitchen.

My first ever nomination for All-Star post..

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