Homer J Simpson

deadpuppiesandwhores · Thu Jun 12, 2003 6:31 pm

good quote from tonights episode.

"my wife is not a doobie to passed around. i vowed years ago to bogart her for the rest of my life."
homer j. simpson

BOOZYBOOZEALOT · Post by **BOOZYBOOZEALOT** » Tue Jun 17, 2003 12:15 pm

i forgot how all of it went but it was something like this...... you put the beer in the coconunt and throw the can away.... anyway the beer can hit ned over the fence and ned says something gay to homer.
Homer: "ah man can't a guy drink alone on a wednesday morning."

TARTANSPECIAL · Post by **TARTANSPECIAL** » Tue Jun 17, 2003 6:54 pm

barcalounge wrote:There's always the motto: "Alcohol: the cause of and solution to all of life's problems."

and Homer's "I'm drunk on love....and beer."

Ain't it true :twisted:

3DrinksAhead · Post by **3DrinksAhead** » Wed Jun 18, 2003 12:11 pm

Marge: "Homer, is that your fourth beer?"
Homer: "Does Whiskey count as beer?"
Marge: "no."
Homer: "then yes, this is my fourth beer".

thirsty4beer · Post by **thirsty4beer** » Tue Jun 24, 2003 1:35 pm

Bart:looks like theres nothing left for me to do but become the biggest town drunk ever
Homer:well talking wont get you there! (takes long pull on a duff)

Barca · Post by **Barca** » Tue Jun 24, 2003 2:35 pm

Paramedic: Son, you've consumed a dangerous amount of alcohol.
Homer: The only dangerous amount of alcohol is none.....hey, let's go to IHOP.

massivedrunk · Post by **massivedrunk** » Wed Jun 25, 2003 6:09 pm

"there are three ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way, and the max power way."

isnt the max power way the wriong way?

yes only faster.

Gregarious Boy · Post by **Gregarious Boy** » Sun Jun 29, 2003 10:17 am

Homer: Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like when daddy hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. Remember that?
Lisa: Yeah
Homer: When daddy hit the referee?
Lisa: Yeah
Homer: Yeah

thirsty4beer · Post by **thirsty4beer** » Mon Jul 07, 2003 2:51 pm

Barney: hey homer, thanks for asking me to your BBQ
Homer: great, you brought a whole keg!
Barney: yeah; where can i fill it up?

Invite to homers event : please come to my BBBQ
Lisa:whats the extra B for?
Homer:that stands for BYOBB
Lisa:whats that extra B for?
Homer:oh, that one's a typo

deadpuppiesandwhores · Wed Jul 09, 2003 2:57 pm

homer:no t.v. and no beer makes homer go... something something
marge:go crazy?
homer:don't mind if i do... kdjafioflzxkjhf

thirsty4beer · Post by **thirsty4beer** » Sat Jul 19, 2003 1:59 pm

After his 30 days of no drinking:

Homer:I'm off to moe's
Marge:eh?
Homer: yep, send the kids to the nieghbours, cos i'm coming back LOADED

Hugh Janblack · Post by **Hugh Janblack** » Tue Jul 29, 2003 4:01 pm

This is a favorite of mine that I use whenever possible....

The family is at a book store and Lisa finds the Duff Book of Records....

Lisa - It was actually used to help settle disputes in a bar.

Homer - Lisa said "bar"!! I'm off to Moe's!!

Homer runs out the store.

Marge - Homer!!! We never agreed to that!!!

grogzombie · Post by **grogzombie** » Tue Sep 09, 2003 4:16 am

Barney: (In Moe's Tavern)"If you didn't close, I'd never leave".

Omar The Tentmaker · Post by **Omar The Tentmaker** » Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:33 pm

grogzombie wrote:Barney: (In Moe's Tavern)"If you didn't close, I'd never leave".

I couldnt agreeeeee moree

Crux · Post by **Crux** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 4:04 am

Damned if I can remember the exact context, however....

Moe: Sorry, Homer. Can't sell you any beer before (X amount of time) on sunday.
Homer: Aww... hey, what're you guys doing?
Carl and Lenny, standing in front of a line on the floor marked 'Drinking Time,' which is right in the path of a shaft of sunlight from the window.
Lenny: Waiting for drinking time!