Homer J Simpson
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mustardtiger
- Hooch Hound
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- Location: In a tent
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slipperyyoke
- Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
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- Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2005 8:59 pm
Marge: Homer, I've had your scrambled eggs, the secret ingredient is whiskey.
Homer: (shrugs) It keeps the kids quiet.
Homer: (shrugs) It keeps the kids quiet.
The man who intoxicates himself on bad whisky is sometimes moved to kill his wife and set his house on fire, but the victim of applejack is capable of blowing up a whole town with dynamite and of reciting original poetry to every surviving inhabitant.
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yetiMonster
- Booze Head
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- Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2009 10:29 pm
- Location: San Diego, California
Re: Homer J Simpson
Homer as Odysseus: "Men, I must be wasted. That cloud is staring angrily at me."
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Marge as Penelope: "My Husband! It's been 20 long years! Tell me of your adventures."
Homer as Odysseus: "Geez, stop smothering me. I'm going to Moe's."
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Marge as Penelope: "My Husband! It's been 20 long years! Tell me of your adventures."
Homer as Odysseus: "Geez, stop smothering me. I'm going to Moe's."
Projectile vomiting, falling out of a tree, and a heavily overdrawn bank account are all indicators of "The Most Awesome Weekend Ever".
Monkeys that are heavy drinkers make better leaders, respected by the other monkeys.
I'm already spending money I don't have, I might as well be friendly about it.
Drink, drank, drunk. Not a grammar lesson, a progression.
Don't fly dry.
Monkeys that are heavy drinkers make better leaders, respected by the other monkeys.
I'm already spending money I don't have, I might as well be friendly about it.
Drink, drank, drunk. Not a grammar lesson, a progression.
Don't fly dry.
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Resident Asshole
- Drinking God's Good Scotch
- Posts: 2834
- Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2005 8:09 am
- Location: Coming in your back door.
Re: Homer J Simpson
This thread rocks!
Bourbon is my blood.
"Gren Label will rock on the show for me." bot rehan507
"women want to better express themselves. Dress up as their own performance this will be a lack of confidence." bot clshoo348
select backwards to God, his safekeeping a weapon homeopathy bold deed, president each opposite's cervix. bot klmn619
"Gren Label will rock on the show for me." bot rehan507
"women want to better express themselves. Dress up as their own performance this will be a lack of confidence." bot clshoo348
select backwards to God, his safekeeping a weapon homeopathy bold deed, president each opposite's cervix. bot klmn619
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thirsty4beer
- Drunker Than God
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- Location: Luton UK
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itwastakensoblowme
- Hooch Hound
- Posts: 92
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Re: Homer J Simpson
My favorite:
: I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy". Tom Waits.
: I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy". Tom Waits.
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StefanoSbronzato
- Hooch Hound
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- Location: Down t'pub
Re: Homer J Simpson
Me and a friend of mine got so bored one summer we made Skittlebrau. There's a video of it somewhere but it just looks like we have rabies.coqui_chris wrote: "I'm feeling down Apu. You got any of that imported beer with the skittles floating around in it. You know, Skittlebrau?"
"Such a beer does not exist, sir, you must have imagined it"
"awww ... ok, I'll have a six pack and a pack of skittles"
~Homer walks in on Bart and Milhouse dressing up in drag~
Homer: What's going on here? And I want a non-gay explanation for this!
Bart: We're... drunk. Really, really drunk.
Homer: Oh thank god. That's okay then.
~Marge becomes a cop, and sees Homer parking across three disabled spaces~
Marge: You have to move your car.
Homer: I'll just be a second, Marge, I'm going to get some beer for those kids over there.
~Shining parody~
Homer: No beer and no tv makes Homer something something something...
Marge: ...go crazy?
Homer: DON'T MIND IF I DO! WWUAUAAARGGH GLGLBLBLB WAKAKAKWKKAKA
"There are no ugly women, there is only less vodka"--Russian proverb
--baby's first drunk post--Jelmo wrote:Guinnessa dsor brewakafast5. Fucxksa if withre yuour sillyh questionsd
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Bluespook
- Hooching Like Hemingway
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- Location: central Illinois
Re: Homer J Simpson
Moe: "ok, it's st. patricks day, the busiest drinking day of the year, where are the designated drivers."
two guys hold up their hands
"get lost, i got no time for cheapskates."
two guys hold up their hands
"get lost, i got no time for cheapskates."
Beer's just being social. Whiskey's drinkin'.