Ron White (blue collar comedian)

SoulToStrings · Post by **SoulToStrings** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:51 am

Ron White the comedian has many-a-drunken quotes worthy of mention. My favorite is of course the track on his "Drunk in Public" tour entitled "I drink too much"

He just states plainly "I drink too much." "Other people learn things when I drink..." "Last night, my limo driver learned that if I say I gotta yack, it don't mean I got a hairy buffalo livin' in my back yard!"

Limo driver, "What's it eat?"
Ron, "CORN!"

This guy is great for drunk humor, and he also drinks like a fish. Very worth checking out if you haven't heard/seen him on Comedy Central. I just saw him live at the Lakeland Center here in Florida. good stuff!

SoulToStrings · Post by **SoulToStrings** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 8:54 am

Another funny Ron White moment is when he's talking about being on a little shitty airplane, and he's talking about how he dosen't care since he has been drinking since lunch.
The plane starts to loose some oil, so they have to go back to the airport. Ron says "Take it down, i don't care. Just hit somethin' hard I don't wanna walk away from this son-of-a-bitch!"

General E. Fubar · Post by **General E. Fubar** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 4:36 am

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I was drunk in a bar! They, threw me into public-KA! I don't want to be drunk in public! I wanna be drunk in a bar, which is perfectly legal! Arrest them!" He didn't arrest them, instead he had me do a field undrunkenness check, where you stand on one foot, raise the other foot six inches off the ground, and count to thirty. I made it to "woo!"

That may have been where they got me on my DWI

SoulToStrings · Post by **SoulToStrings** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:18 am

LOL love that one as well. tater salad is so funny
the way he does that hey hey hey hey hey line is classic

Rowdydrunk79 · Post by **Rowdydrunk79** » Thu May 11, 2006 8:40 pm

I saw him when he came to Augusta last Augusta he started off with:
"I want y'all to know I've invented a new drinking game. Whatchya do is rent a limo, load it up with friends and booze. Then drive around I-285 in Atlanta and take a shot everytime you see the word 'Waffle'."

Tipsy McStagger · Post by **Tipsy McStagger** » Fri May 12, 2006 2:37 am

Rowdydrunk79 wrote:I saw him when he came to Augusta last Augusta he started off with:
"I want y'all to know I've invented a new drinking game. Whatchya do is rent a limo, load it up with friends and booze. Then drive around I-285 in Atlanta and take a shot everytime you see the word 'Waffle'."

Christ, you can be drunk in fifteen minutes around there!

Shmoo · Post by **Shmoo** » Tue May 16, 2006 5:19 pm

Tipsy McStagger wrote:
Rowdydrunk79 wrote:I saw him when he came to Augusta last Augusta he started off with:
"I want y'all to know I've invented a new drinking game. Whatchya do is rent a limo, load it up with friends and booze. Then drive around I-285 in Atlanta and take a shot everytime you see the word 'Waffle'."
Christ, you can be drunk in fifteen minutes around there!

I once drove around 285 several years ago on Cinco de Mayo. That was a longer ride than I expected. Thank goodness for circles. I finally recognized something.

White Lightning · Post by **White Lightning** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 9:57 pm

"I was a victim of profiling. They pulled over everyone who drove down that particular sidewalk."

Bucko · Post by **Bucko** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 1:01 am

"Take it down, i don't care. Just hit somethin' hard I don't wanna walk away from this son-of-a-bitch!"

i bet we'll beat the ambulances by a half hour!

“I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonade…then find someone that life gave vodka to and have a party.”

ech0s · Post by **ech0s** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 9:23 pm

[quote=“I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonade…then find someone that life gave vodka to and have a party.”[/quote] Was my favorite from his routine

Bucko · Post by **Bucko** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:30 am

Rumpelstiltskin wrote:
"Take it down, i don't care. Just hit somethin' hard I don't wanna walk away from this son-of-a-bitch!"
i bet we'll beat the ambulances by a half hour!

“I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonade…then find someone that life gave vodka to and have a party.”

holy f'in shit asin it strange when you find post thet the your habe tno recolection of putin up.. and seein it secer monthes later

Gin McGuinness · Post by **Gin McGuinness** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:17 am

Thanks to Amazon, I've bought everything with this guy in it. I can say with a full slur that I love this man!

Ron White (blue collar comedian)

Ron White (blue collar comedian)

air plane crash