Offensive bar jokes

[Catroaster]

Back in the days of the British Empire, a Colonel was inspecting a field hospital.

He goes up to a soldier in the first room and asks "What's wrong with you, Private?" "Dysentry, Sir!" "What's the treatment?" "Wire brush, sir, to the affected place, sir, three times a day, sir" "And your ambition?" "To get well, sir, to serve the Queen and Country, sir!".He goes up to a soldier in the second room and asks "What's wrong with you, Private?" "Syphillis, Sir!" "What's the treatment?" "Wire brush, sir, to the affected place, sir, three times a day, sir" "And your ambition?" "To get well, sir, to serve the Queen and Country, sir!".Finally. he goes up to a soldier in the third room and asks "What's wrong with you, Private?" "Sore throat, Sir!" "What's the treatment?" "Wire brush, sir, to the affected place, sir, three times a day, sir" "And your ambition?" "To be first with the wire brush, sir!"

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

What's worse than reindeer peeing on your roof? Santa Claus coming down your chimney.

[mistah willies]

Daniel Craig.




I mean, his joke, to wit:


"What's the most disgusting thing you can think of?

Shoving five oysters up your grandmother's cunt and sucking out six."

[jackstraw]

A little boy asked his mother:
- Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
- Don’t even ask me that, > I remember that party..., your lucky that you don’t bark.