Raging Alcoholic

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

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Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
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Location: Barnsley

Post by Steve » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:39 am

Luckily where I live drinking to excess is not looked down upon much, and is actually EXPECTED a lot of the time. I've even had people compliment me on my drinking. Just last night someone in the pub said "I'm glad you're here to show 'em how it's done. You put them all to shame." and a few months ago a bloke described me as "the drunkest man in Yorkshire", he then asked if a had a hangover after what I drank the night before. When I said no he replied "fuckin' hell, are you an X-Man?"
Strange thing is, it doesn't take me a vast amount to get drunk, and I don't consider myself to be a big drinker. I just seem to have aquired a reputation. People at nearby tables make a point of observing what I drink, like it's a spectator sport or something.

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Super Drunkard
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Post by IndyGuy77 » Thu Nov 08, 2007 10:39 pm

I wish my local Trader Joes could sell hard liquor.

I have to settle for their great beers. They have awesome European/German style brews.
Current favorite drinks: BOOKERS!! Bombay Sapphire, Makers Mark, Trader Joe's Germanic beers

May a moody baby doom a yam?

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Re: Raging Alcoholic

Post by mcphargus » Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:29 pm

I'll preface this by saying that after so many years I'm more of a gentleman now. I'd recently moved into an apartment and it was St Patricks weekend. Apartment warming + St Patricks party + I was only 22 meant there was a mess to clean up.

Somewhere between car bombs, rum, guiness, yuengling and baileys I acquired a moniker that I ain't lived down: dragon.

My guts went pan-dimensional and when it was over, my downstairs neighbor's porch and, to my sincere regret, her cigarettes were sprayed with ditritus. We hosed down her porch the next morning.

"Nice to meet you, my name is Clint. The puke on your porch, yeah, that's my fault. We brought a mop though. Hey! You're kind of cute! I should have asked you to swing by last night. We had a helluva party! Oh, so you know? How?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah, don't worry, we'll get this cleaned up and out of your hair in no time."

The next day, my upstairs neighbor left a pile of pamphlets and cards for AA meetings and sponsors outside my door. Best first impression ever.
Do what you want with the girl, but leave the monkey alone.

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Lord of Benders
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Re: Raging Alcoholic

Post by Jags » Wed Jul 20, 2011 7:29 pm

When I pick up my kegs from Giant 6 times out of 10 someone comments about where's the party and I've come to reply that it is just my weekly supply.

The older I get, the better I was.

It's damn expensive to look this cheap.

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