An old one from my ship days:
Here's to you and here's to me
The best of friends we'll always be
But if, by chance, you disagree,
The fuck you all, and here's to me.
And do steal from an old song:
And there's nothing so desperate, so dull or so drear,
as to sit at the bar, of a pub with no beer
So raise me a glass, as I sit right here
And pray once more, I'll never face that fear.
Drinking Toasts to remember
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- Hardcore Stig
- Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2007 6:48 pm
- Location: Sunderland, North East England
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
Ripped this one off from a movie: "We may not always get what we want, we may not always get what we need, just so long as we don't get what we deserve."
Or as David Lee Roth says, "I am living single, but I am drinking double!"
Or as David Lee Roth says, "I am living single, but I am drinking double!"
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
Does anyone know the full version of this toast:
Here's to the hole that never heals,
The more you rub it the better it feels,
And all the soap this side of Hell,
Won't wash away that fishy smell,
...
...
Syphyllis, blue balls, crabs and lice,
I've had them all by Jesus Christ,
Gentlemen,
The Queen
I think it is from a comedy duo called Maclean & Maclean
Thanks
Here's to the hole that never heals,
The more you rub it the better it feels,
And all the soap this side of Hell,
Won't wash away that fishy smell,
...
...
Syphyllis, blue balls, crabs and lice,
I've had them all by Jesus Christ,
Gentlemen,
The Queen
I think it is from a comedy duo called Maclean & Maclean
Thanks
- Uncle Gary
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 287
- Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
- Location: Scotch Town
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
Here's to swimmin'
with bowlegged women.
with bowlegged women.
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph
- Whiskeydick
- Hooch Hound
- Posts: 50
- Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 12:44 pm
- Location: My brother's bar!
- peetie44
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 10389
- Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:05 am
- Location: Belgium, Austin TX, SoCal, Branson MO, Cape Cod MA
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
"Here's to pussy
Which all men crave
Dark as a well and deep as a cave
It's got more hair than a motherfuckin' hog
And eats more meat than a sunnavabitchin' dog"
Which all men crave
Dark as a well and deep as a cave
It's got more hair than a motherfuckin' hog
And eats more meat than a sunnavabitchin' dog"
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
- KaosDad
- Inebriate Savant
- Posts: 508
- Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2008 2:05 pm
- Location: The Bar in Broadlands
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
If you are an old school gamer:
Toaster 1 - "Here's to us!"
Toaster 2 -"Who's like us?"
Toaster 3 -"Damn few!"
All - "And they're ALL dead!"
A bit of philosphy: "Great Minds think alike." "But Fools seldom differ."
Here's to the women that I've loved
and all the ones I've kissed.
As for regrets, I just have one;
that's all the ones I've missed.
Oh, women's faults are many,
us men have only two:
Every single thing we say,
and everything we do.
And finally:
One Martini,
Two Martini,
Three Martini,
Floor
Toaster 1 - "Here's to us!"
Toaster 2 -"Who's like us?"
Toaster 3 -"Damn few!"
All - "And they're ALL dead!"
A bit of philosphy: "Great Minds think alike." "But Fools seldom differ."
Here's to the women that I've loved
and all the ones I've kissed.
As for regrets, I just have one;
that's all the ones I've missed.
Oh, women's faults are many,
us men have only two:
Every single thing we say,
and everything we do.
And finally:
One Martini,
Two Martini,
Three Martini,
Floor
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
"here's to livin' like schneider: one day at a time."
- peetie44
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 10389
- Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:05 am
- Location: Belgium, Austin TX, SoCal, Branson MO, Cape Cod MA
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
DIVORCE:
"The fucking you get for the fucking you got"
"The fucking you get for the fucking you got"
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
- Dr. Dotto S. Blotto
- Inebriate Savant
- Posts: 683
- Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 10:29 am
- Location: here with you.
- Contact:
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
I especially like this one.ms. awesomesauce wrote:"here's to livin' like schneider: one day at a time."
Slave to the Id since 1968.
Less Talk, More Monkey
"DRIVE, MONKEY! DRIVE!" - Dante
Less Talk, More Monkey
"DRIVE, MONKEY! DRIVE!" - Dante
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
Holy shit some of these are too damn funny!
It's been a while since I've read the new ones, and all I can say is The Modern Drunkard Forum Members fucking kick ass!
It's been a while since I've read the new ones, and all I can say is The Modern Drunkard Forum Members fucking kick ass!
- Dr. Dotto S. Blotto
- Inebriate Savant
- Posts: 683
- Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 10:29 am
- Location: here with you.
- Contact:
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
If the ocean were whiskey
and I were a duck
I'd swim to the bottom
and never come up!
"My whiskey, My whiskey, My whiskey" I cry!
If I don't have whiskey I surely will die.
and I were a duck
I'd swim to the bottom
and never come up!
"My whiskey, My whiskey, My whiskey" I cry!
If I don't have whiskey I surely will die.
Slave to the Id since 1968.
Less Talk, More Monkey
"DRIVE, MONKEY! DRIVE!" - Dante
Less Talk, More Monkey
"DRIVE, MONKEY! DRIVE!" - Dante
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
"drinking is never the answer, it is the question. The answer is always yes"
This toast is a good one when everyone at the table is drunk except for one (or a few) persons who start to complain that the rest should stop drinking. It is extra good if the Yes part is yelled by all inebriated ones.
This toast is a good one when everyone at the table is drunk except for one (or a few) persons who start to complain that the rest should stop drinking. It is extra good if the Yes part is yelled by all inebriated ones.
Don't be undrunk my son. It serves no cause.
- Drinky the Drunk Guy
- Booze Head
- Posts: 32
- Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2005 12:24 pm
- Location: Central IL
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
I've modified something I read somewhere on these pages to make it rhyme a lil better...
(to be toasted late in the festivities)
"I do think
we've had enough to drink
now the time is such...
let's drink too much"
I even managed to spit it out correctly once or twice.
(and, in my head, I've got it down as an awesome Coutry Music song)
(to be toasted late in the festivities)
"I do think
we've had enough to drink
now the time is such...
let's drink too much"
I even managed to spit it out correctly once or twice.
(and, in my head, I've got it down as an awesome Coutry Music song)
"When I'm not drinkin'... I'm thinkin' 'bout drinkin'..." — The Meat Purveyors
- DrinkPlanner
- Hooch Hound
- Posts: 89
- Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:34 pm
- Location: Atlanta, GA
- Contact:
Re: Drinking Toasts to remember
I heard this one recently, my friend called it the "Frank Sinatra Toast"
"To our enemies...fuck 'em!"
"To our enemies...fuck 'em!"