Drinking Toasts to remember

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator

User avatar
Hossasaurus Wrecked
Hooch Hound
Hooch Hound
Posts: 68
Joined: Wed May 23, 2007 11:29 pm
Location: Florida
Contact:

Post by Hossasaurus Wrecked » Tue Jul 17, 2007 11:36 pm

This one's particularly good for a wedding:

Here's to me and here's to you
Here's to love and laughter
I'll be true as long as you
And not one second after

Shotski's
Souse
Souse
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 7:03 pm
Location: Florida
Contact:

More great Drinking, Party Toasts to remember!

Post by Shotski's » Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:34 pm

- May you...
Work like you don't need the money,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no-one is watching,
screw like it's being filmed,
and drink like a true Irishman.



- No matter how beautiful,
how smart, or how cute she is...
somebody somewhere, is sick of her shit!


And I guess I need one happy, sappy one...

- Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad.
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.


Cheers all you CrAzY party friends!
Bobby Barnes
Shotski's Bar Supplies & Party Mixes
http://www.shotskis.com
http://www.BombShots.com

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Afghanistan Toast

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:44 am

Here's to our enemies....

Laying face down, cold in their graves

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

And a related one

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:46 am

May the Devil make a ladder of the bones of our enemies so he can pick apples in the garden of Hell.

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:47 am

Here's to the perfect Girl,
I couldn't ask for more,
She's deaf and dumb and oversexed,
And owns a liquor store.

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:49 am

May the winds of fortune blow upon you,
May you sail a gentle sea,
And may it always be the other guy
who says "This round's on me!"

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Dec 10, 2007 12:45 pm

There's a message in this bottle -- let's drink until we find it.
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph

Shotski's
Souse
Souse
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 7:03 pm
Location: Florida
Contact:

Too funny!

Post by Shotski's » Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:51 pm

Uncle Gary,

The " ...ownes a liquor store..." one is to funny!!!!!
Bobby Barnes
Shotski's Bar Supplies & Party Mixes
http://www.shotskis.com
http://www.BombShots.com

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:43 am

There are several good reasons for drinking
and one has just entered my head.
If a man can't drink when he's living,
how the hell can he drink when he's dead
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:48 am

Here's to health,
fitness and tone...
I've drank to health so many times,
I've ruined my goddam own
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:52 am

The Frenchman loves his native wine;
The German loves his beer;
The Englishman loves his 'alf and 'alf,
Because it brings good cheer.
The Irishman loves his " whiskey straight,"
Because it gives him dizziness.
The American has no choice at all,
So he drinks the whole damn business
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:53 am

Here's to the love of a beautiful maid,
The love of a staunch true friend.
The love of a baby unafraid,
Has been known since time began.
But the greatest of loves,
The love of all loves,
Is the tender, infinite, passionate love,
OF ONE DRUNKEN BUM TO ANOTHER..
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:03 am

Here's to Osama that son of a bitch
May his pecker fall off with the seven year itch
I'd like to beat on his balls with a big brass hammer
Until his asshole whistles the Star Spangled Banner.
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph

shrontzy
Tippler
Tippler
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2008 1:04 pm

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by shrontzy » Mon Mar 03, 2008 1:06 pm

Here's to brother Tony, brother Tony, brother Tony
Here's to brother Tony, may he chugga-lug
He's happy, he's jolly
He's fucked up by golly
Here's to brother Tony, may he chugga-lug
So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Here's to brother Tony, may he chugga-lug
Drink it down, down, down, down...


If I had a dog that'd piss this stuff,
and I knew that dog could piss enough.
I would tie that dog to the head of my bed
and suck his peter 'til he was dead!

Here's to the perfect girl,
I couldn't ask for more.
She's deaf 'n dumb, oversexed,
and owns a liquor store

No matter how beautiful,
smart, or cute she is...
some man, somewhere, is sick of her shit

My friends are the best friends
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!

To honor, with honor, for honor
if u cant cum in her, cum on her

User avatar
Gaston
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 317
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2008 10:53 pm
Location: Barstool
Contact:

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Gaston » Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:05 pm

Here's a few I've come up with...

"Here's to cheap whiskey
however it may taste
it's always there when you need it
and always knows its place
whether you're on top o' the world
or things are heading south
may you always have cheap whiskey
and may you never miss your mouth"

"Now beer, my friends is a wonderful thing
whether you be a prince, a pauper or even a king
and to spill one precious drop is really a shame
so waste not what you pour and we'll drink to your fame"

"Gather 'round my friends and lets spin us a tale
of bourbon and whiskey, of lager and ale
of new friends and old, of acts both daring and bold
of women of class and balls made of brass
and if we should die before the night ends
at least we went out drinking with friends"
The truth. Why is it so important? The truth is I'm an alcoholic prick. The lie is that I'm a charming well mannered drunkard. now isn't that much prettier? LET THE FALSEHOOD REIGN!

Or it could be the brain addled delusions. I doubt that. If you've ever met me, you'd want to buy me a drink. If you haven't met me, you'd want to buy me two.- DirtyLou

Post Reply