Drinking Toasts to remember

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator

User avatar
Slim
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 202
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:25 am
Location: Redondo Beach, CA
Contact:

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Slim » Sat Aug 09, 2008 6:19 pm

To the conquest of Sicily!

Crowd responds with sluured and boisterous: Sicily!

Sorry, I just revisited Patton.
Image

User avatar
One for the Frog
Drinking God's Good Scotch
Drinking God's Good Scotch
Posts: 2846
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2003 9:35 am
Contact:

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by One for the Frog » Tue Aug 26, 2008 4:52 am

I have to come up with a "toast" story as Dr. P. told me years ago. He was boozing out with a Finn:
Padraig (raising glass): "Cheers!"
Finnish guy (shout, shocked): "ARE WE DRINKING, OR TALKING???"

User avatar
Surreal
King Cockeyed
King Cockeyed
Posts: 1867
Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2008 10:54 am
Location: stage left

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Surreal » Mon Sep 15, 2008 12:55 pm

Short, sweet and right to the point:

"Here's to the cars we love and the women we wreck".

-Surreal McCoy
fuck em man, it ain't easy walkin the righteous path.
- Hoss

aixguy82
Tippler
Tippler
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:42 am

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by aixguy82 » Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:46 am

Sugar in Bowl Coffee in a cup, stick her in the butt you won't knock her up.

In the words of winney the pooh always eat your Honey

User avatar
ivan
Hooching Like Hemingway
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3471
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 4:49 pm
Location: 29.532839,-98.331709

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by ivan » Mon Jan 05, 2009 5:43 pm

"While we live, let's live"
nic the chick wrote:ivan and casino are right.

User avatar
Captain Tim
Souse
Souse
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:26 pm
Location: MO

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Captain Tim » Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:58 am

New Year's Toast

Another day, another bender
No retreat and no surrender
While tomorrow, we'll try to remember
What to forget this day in December.

User avatar
Hardcore Stig
Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
Posts: 1104
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2007 6:48 pm
Location: Sunderland, North East England

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Hardcore Stig » Thu Jan 15, 2009 7:27 pm

Forgive me father...for what I'm about to do.
"That's only a problem if you stop drinking"

"Nationality? I'm a drunkard, and that makes me a man of the world"

"The word "pub" should never need to be followed by the word "why""

User avatar
old crow
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 302
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:21 pm
Location: massachusetts
Contact:

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by old crow » Thu Jan 15, 2009 8:27 pm

i usually just say "yo HERE'S TO ALL THAT SHIT"

EGad987
Booze Head
Booze Head
Posts: 48
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2008 9:52 pm
Location: Oklahoma City

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by EGad987 » Thu Feb 19, 2009 6:38 pm

Here's to the girl who gave me this,
It hurts each time I take a piss.
But if she's around when I get well,
I'll get it again, sure as hell.



Here's to the breezes,
that blow through the treeses,
and blow the skirts off young girls kneeses.
Which often leads to sights that pleases,
but more often leads to social diseases.

User avatar
Negromancer
King Cockeyed
King Cockeyed
Posts: 1990
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2009 10:36 am
Location: Norway

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Negromancer » Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:10 am

HAHAHA!
"The best drink of the day, was the drink he had in his head before the first drink of the day."

mikepsmith1
Tippler
Tippler
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:33 am

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by mikepsmith1 » Mon Nov 09, 2009 4:49 am

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

User avatar
Bluespook
Hooching Like Hemingway
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3443
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 5:34 pm
Location: central Illinois

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Bluespook » Sat Mar 27, 2010 8:29 pm

Some of these need modifying if you don't live in illinois

We the boys from illinois
We live in caves and ditches
We bang our cocks on jagged rocks
We're mean sons of bitches

We The boys from illinois
We live in caves and ditches
We wipe our ass with broken glass
And laugh because it itches


If the ocean were whiskey and i were a duck
I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up
but the ocean's not whiskey and i'm not a duck
so pass me the bottle and shut the fuck up.
Beer's just being social. Whiskey's drinkin'.

Patrick9110
Tippler
Tippler
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:48 am

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Patrick9110 » Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:53 am

To the Bitches we've met, and the Bitches we've fucked
And Those amungst us who've had no such luck
To the beer in the glass, and the vodka in the cup
To poking her in the ass, so she don't get knocked up
Here's to you and here's to me
Best of friend we'll always be
But if we ever disagree
Then fuck all of you heres to me!

- Tucker Max

User avatar
billygoatcurse
Booze Head
Booze Head
Posts: 46
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 2:24 am

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by billygoatcurse » Thu Apr 22, 2010 7:44 pm

heard a good one a while back while boozing in a small, seedy bar. some guy is standing up at the bar, puts his hand on his buddy's shoulder and says "ladies and gentleman, please raise your glasses for Mike, he found out some incredible life altering news today and would like to share it with everyone" mike stands up and says "I AM NOT THE FATHER! YEAHH!" never knew a bar could turn into a Maury Povich episode, but it was quite entertaining.
"IT'S A CAT & MOUSE TYPE DEAL" - Duane Hampel's explanation for everything.

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Uncle Gary » Mon Aug 02, 2010 5:00 am

Some Guinness was spilt on the bar room floor,
when the pub was closed for the night.
Out of his hole crept a wee brown mouse,
and he stood in the pale moonlight.
He lapped up the frothy foam from the floor,
then back on his haunches he sat.
All night long you could hear the mouse roar,
"Bring on the God Damn CAT!!!"
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph

Post Reply