My Name is Earl

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

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Oggar
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My Name is Earl

Post by Oggar » Tue Nov 21, 2006 8:53 am

Joy didn't need me to get over her stage fright, turns out all she needed was a nip of Whiskey... followed by a pint of Tequila.

Randy: If I had a squirt gun filled with Vodka I'd shoot cops with it, 'cause they couldn't get mad.
Earl: I think they'd still get mad Randy.
Randy: Really? But they'd be gettin' free Vodka. I'm gonna try it.
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott

RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.

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Oggar
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Post by Oggar » Tue Nov 21, 2006 10:32 am

Sorry to tell you Tom but there is no band. We played one gig, got drunk, got laid and sold our instruments to get more Beer.

Since being drunk helped me through this the first time, I decided I'd better be twice as drunk this time.
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott

RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.

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Rabies
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Re: My Name is Earl

Post by Rabies » Mon Oct 04, 2010 9:42 pm

There better be some of that beer left for Christmas mornin

For a minute I wondered if, once again, I had drunk nine months of my life away
There's a game called drinking, it's a lot like solitaire

Look poor, act crazy, and carry a gun. -Faint-Hearted

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Rabies
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Re: My Name is Earl

Post by Rabies » Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:46 pm

Earl: We should go on a beer run; are we okay to drive?
Randy: I know a good way to find out. If I can steer that remote control car in the living room without crashing, were ok.
Earl: Randy that’s the cat.
Randy: (squinting at the cat) We shouldn’t drive.
There's a game called drinking, it's a lot like solitaire

Look poor, act crazy, and carry a gun. -Faint-Hearted

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Rabies
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Re: My Name is Earl

Post by Rabies » Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:47 pm

Randy: I never thought of drinking beer upside down before.
Earl: It tastes the same.
Randy: Yeah, but it goes to your brain before it goes to your livers.

Earl: And usually the Air Force would shoot you for doing that, but they figured I was too drunk to remember what I saw. But as we all know now - they were wrong.
There's a game called drinking, it's a lot like solitaire

Look poor, act crazy, and carry a gun. -Faint-Hearted

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