W C Fields quotes

[Uncle Gary]

I missed a day to toast to WC Fields: he died on Christmas Day, 1946. In his honor, I submit these quotes, which I ran across in a book I'm reading (The Portable Curmudgeon):

-- Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live on nothing but food and water.

-- A woman drove me to drink, and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.

-- I always keep a stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

-- What contempible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?

-- The cost of living has gone up a dollar a quart.

-- I exercise self control by never touching any beverage stronger than beer before breakfast.

-- Anybody who hates dogs and loves whiskey can't be all bad.

-- Late in his life, when Fields was ill and confined to bed, a friend found him reading the Bible and asked, "What the hell are you doing?" Fields replied, "Looking for loopholes."

[Kevin21]

Another good one by W.C. --

"Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink."
-W.C. Fields

[fizzmaster]

WC is great, a true comedic icon. I love "The Bank Dick".

When the Japanese struck Pearl Harbor, Fields brought a hand truck to a liquor store and bought 6 cases of gin. When a friend saw him returning, he asked why he bought 6 cases. Fields replied. "I think it's going to be a short war."

[kowalski]

And it ain't a fit night out for man nor beast.

[Steve]

Another good one by W.C. --

"Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink."
-W.C. Fields

I have that on a T-shirt.