A quote from the bartender last night

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

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oettinger
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by oettinger »

They will not know what hit them!
Hand me that assphalt pepper to get excited
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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Palinka (RIP)
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by Palinka (RIP) »

oettinger wrote:...Hand me that assphalt pepper to get excited
Be careful what you wish for...

N.B. NSFW.
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
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mistah willies
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by mistah willies »

*click* mistah willies reporting in from the ship. We have taken her. Repeat, we have taken her. Drys have been dessicated. Jolly Drunkard is now being raised. *click*
Can we drink now? ---peetie44
At rock bottom, there is no down. ---The Oett
^ ^ ^ Yes his entire cutlery set and all utensils are made from assorted broken bottles.--- The Artful Detective
Just remember Hugh: a good cocktail in a shitty glass is better that a shitty cocktail in a pretty glass.---The Badfellow
I'll buy the first round if you promise to stop being a cunt. --- Dear Booze

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oettinger
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by oettinger »

Colonel Clark "Diarreah" Thompson calling in, struggle is on and it`s brutal. Got a passed out russian rocket by my side this time though
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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mistah willies
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by mistah willies »

ARR.

We be continuing the struggle against them Drys. It appears that the sand dunes have Dryed them out.

"Little Miss tupperware
sat on her bottom, bare,
whistling Kurds away

Along came a spider
and ISIS defiled her
and now they have hell to pay."

or something like that


DRINK!

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oettinger
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by oettinger »

Game "over" bullet, drinking in Sir,
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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mistah willies
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by mistah willies »

PROSIT!




.
Can we drink now? ---peetie44
At rock bottom, there is no down. ---The Oett
^ ^ ^ Yes his entire cutlery set and all utensils are made from assorted broken bottles.--- The Artful Detective
Just remember Hugh: a good cocktail in a shitty glass is better that a shitty cocktail in a pretty glass.---The Badfellow
I'll buy the first round if you promise to stop being a cunt. --- Dear Booze

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oettinger
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by oettinger »

Reading these is really funny.
Cheers fellas,
I
mean
sometimes
I`m like
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That I`m drunk helps alot also!
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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stacy55
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by stacy55 »

You guys might not believe but once a bartender said to me " I am having the best job of my entire career".

But how so, is being a bartender really a cool job ?

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Gall4185
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by Gall4185 »

Being a bartender isn't an easy job,and it's seldom glamorous. But i get to play with alcohol for a living,try to make sure people have a great time and I can describe myself as a professional bad influence. What's not to love?

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oettinger
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by oettinger »

Reporting in Sir, I think we lost you Sir. Sunk a cocktail called the armada. Now back into the waves...
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by Earl »

oettinger wrote:
Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:59 pm
Reporting in Sir, I think we lost you Sir. Sunk a cocktail called the armada. Now back into the waves...

Transmission received, Sir. Multiple cocktails confirmed sunk. Reports show suspicion of the Dry's planning to sabotage the likker tanks. The Sorghum Spys have been sent with two fifths and a lowball to collect intel. Over and out

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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by Lush City »

Badfellow wrote:
Thu Mar 13, 2014 5:47 pm
After a proper front-loading, Oggar and I walked up to the bar last evening. The bartender kept us proper, but after a half dozen or whatever Jim Beams in less than a half hour she says "Christ, I need to start serving you guys doubles". And so she did, and it was good. It just got drunker from there. But, nobody got hurt and the toilet is still intact, so we'll count it as another major victory for the Drunkard Korps.

Secondly, very strong coffee with a shot or several of Benchmark Bourbon added is a delicious, wholesome breakfast. Rather than the morning handing us our asses, we handed it back.
Wow! You are 3 years ahead of me!
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
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Badfellow
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by Badfellow »

Earl wrote:
Sun Nov 26, 2017 7:47 pm
Reports show suspicion of the Dry's planning to sabotage the likker tanks. The Sorghum Spys have been sent with two fifths and a lowball to collect intel. Over and out
Good catch, Commander.
I hereby authorize the Sorghum Spies to enact protocol: zeta-ethyl-exlax on the dry's punchbowl at the annual Anti-Saloon League Prissy Prom & Carrie Nation Convention. This is a highly drunk and dangerous mission should you choose to accept. Deployment of overproof liquor and still tails is recommended.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Badfellow
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Re: A quote from the bartender last night

Post by Badfellow »

Lush City wrote:
Sun Nov 26, 2017 11:35 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Thu Mar 13, 2014 5:47 pm
After a proper front-loading, Oggar and I walked up to the bar last evening...
Wow! You are 3 years ahead of me!
Well, you are X years ahead of me, so that puts us into some sort of space/time infinity drinking loop paradox. Better call Prof. Hawking.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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