The Whiskey Speech

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WhiskeyReb
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The Whiskey Speech

Post by WhiskeyReb » Wed Dec 02, 2015 11:22 pm

As I sit here, sipping on some sour mash whiskey, I had to turn the TV news off. Better to shut out the bad news and drink. Rather than dwell on all the world's problems, allow me to share with you, my fellow drunks, a true story from 1952, when the subject of whiskey laws served as a heated controversy within the Mississippi state legislature. A young state representative by the name of S.N. "Soggy" Sweat addressed a group of legislators and their spouses on this highly volatile subject. His speech, known in these parts as the "Whiskey Speech", earned a loud round of applause from about half the crowd after the first part. Then Rep. Sweat paused, and with a gleam in his eye, eloquently delivered the second half of the speech, which garnered a hearty round of applause from the other half of the crowd. Hopefully you will read this with drink in hand as, without further adieu, I now share with you "The Whiskey Speech."

My friends, I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I want you to know that I do not shun controversy. On the contrary, I will take a stand on any issue at any time, regardless of how fraught with controversy it might be. You have asked me how I feel about whiskey. All right, here is how I feel about whiskey.

If– when you say whiskey– you mean the devil’s brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster, that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacle of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, and despair, and shame and helplessness, and hopelessness, then certainly I am against it.

But, if– when you say whiskey– you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips, and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman’s step on a frosty, crispy morning; if you mean the drink which enables a man to magnify his joy, and his happiness, and to forget, if only for a little while, life’s great tragedies, and heartaches, and sorrows; if you mean that drink, the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars, which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitiful aged and infirm; to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it.

This is my stand. I will not retreat from it. I will not compromise.”

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Patchez
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Re: The Whiskey Speech

Post by Patchez » Wed Dec 02, 2015 11:57 pm

I like the second half but like most politicians he took no stand at all.

All flippy floppy and spineless.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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