Drinking Quotes

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

Moderators: NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies

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mistah willies
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Re: Drinking Quotes

Post by mistah willies »

"Nothing ruins Friday night
like waking up in Tuesday's light"

---Glinty McFlintlock ca. 1883

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oettinger
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Re: Drinking Quotes

Post by oettinger »

Every hangover starts with waking up
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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Dear Booze
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Re: Drinking Quotes

Post by Dear Booze »

To the bartender:
"Do you guys give free birthday shots? I'm asking because it's my birthday."
~My buddy, Alan, on his birthday.

Follow up: He received a free drink from the pub. and then everyone in the place started buying him drinks.

Follow up to the follow up: Alan passed out on the floor and we used Alan's phone to take pictures of every customer posing with him one-at-a-time.
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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mistah willies
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Re: Drinking Quotes

Post by mistah willies »

Dear Booze wrote:
Sun Mar 22, 2020 10:37 am
To the bartender:
"Do you guys give free birthday shots? I'm asking because it's my birthday."
~My buddy, Alan, on his birthday.

Follow up: He received a free drink from the pub. and then everyone in the place started buying him drinks.

Follow up to the follow up: Alan passed out on the floor and we used Alan's phone to take pictures of every customer posing with him one-at-a-time.
Alan is a lucky man, once a year at least

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Dear Booze
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Re: Drinking Quotes

Post by Dear Booze »

"You drank Absinthe, Guinness, and Rum? Now that's a balanced diet!"

~Lush City
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Drinking Quotes

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Pulled this gold off of Dear Booze's website (I think).

"Booze in springtime cures hay fever, the chills, ugliness, crying babies, jock itch, a sore tooth, old man winter syndrome, the vapors, insomnia, gangrene, vampirism, the hebe gebies, hocus pocus and the hokey pokey.
Use as directed.
Drink, now. <end of directions>"
Okole maluna!

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Nausea
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Re: Drinking Quotes

Post by Nausea »

You do the hokey pokey and you drink 'till you fall down.
Oh God, my grandmother would kill me.

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Nausea
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Re: Drinking Quotes

Post by Nausea »

"Every day is a fresh lemon." -- Oettinger.
Oh God, my grandmother would kill me.

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