Employment advice?

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Barclay
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by Barclay » Sat Jan 29, 2011 4:19 pm

I work in IT (Sysadmin) and highly recommended it due to its soul-killing qualities. Drives you to drink, you see.
*hic*

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grippingthewheel
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by grippingthewheel » Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:16 am

Dig ditches. Clean pools. Deliver high-end pizza i.e. flat-bread goat cheese & cocaine pies. Chicks think it's hot.

Avoid leaf-blowing and lawn-mowing and selling oranges near on-ramps. Not so hot.

Watch porn for additional occupational advice.

Good luck.
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Frankennietzsche
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by Frankennietzsche » Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:16 pm

Get a warehouse job. Forklifts are fun. Sales isn't that much fun, which is what I am mostly doing right now.

Everywhere you go, though, you have to take some type of bite of the giant shit sandwich. It's mostly a matter of how much you can stomache.
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by Heathen55 » Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:04 pm

Work for the Fed. It will quickly relieve you of any fraction of a soul you may have left.
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BBoozer
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by BBoozer » Tue Feb 08, 2011 10:21 am

Get a fuckin' engineerin' degree. Do DIY on a saturday morning. Watch mind numbin' game shows with your kids at night. Grow up. Grow the fuck up. Grow a pair, Steve, and get yourself whatever job's on offer.

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Glasgae Sam
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by Glasgae Sam » Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:51 pm

I spent 6 months out of work last year, and grabbed the first job which sounded vaguely interesting. I've now been there almost a year, and actually really like it. I work on contracts to rent excavators and other heavy construction equipment, which means a good chunk of my day is taken up learning about new and impressively BIG machinery. Before this I was a lawyer. So my advice is to cast a wide net - just try stuff out, you never know what will stick :)
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Frankennietzsche
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by Frankennietzsche » Thu Feb 10, 2011 10:18 pm

I tells you: warehouse job. Especially if you are able to entertain yourself mentally. You don't have to think much, you can be as hung over, relatively, as people will just assume that you are "slow" or might not care if you are hungover. And, it's pretty universal once you have it on your resume, not that it's glamorous.

I like being stuck in the warehouse when they pull me off of sales. Hauling around 80 pound mufflers up and down stairs isn't easy, but it is as the same time.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Re: Employment advice?

Post by waahoohah » Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:06 pm

FNZ wrote:Get a warehouse job. Forklifts are fun.
Listen to the man. He knows what he's talking about.
Do you know what an air pillow is? Think of bubble wrap, but each bubble is about the size of a burrito. Those are air pillows.
Now, imagine taking a strip of air pillows, laying them out on the floor, and running them over with a forklift.










That's right. It sounds a lot like a tommy gun, and is almost as loud.
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Steve
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by Steve » Sat Feb 12, 2011 6:26 am

waahoohah wrote:
FNZ wrote:Get a warehouse job. Forklifts are fun.
Listen to the man. He knows what he's talking about.
Do you know what an air pillow is? Think of bubble wrap, but each bubble is about the size of a burrito. Those are air pillows.
Now, imagine taking a strip of air pillows, laying them out on the floor, and running them over with a forklift.










That's right. It sounds a lot like a tommy gun, and is almost as loud.
That makes learning to drive a forklift sound much more fun!
Yes, I'm easily pleased sometimes.

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greygoose
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by greygoose » Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:08 am

you can't really expect a reasonable response without telling us what you skills are, no? other than that, you could search for universities doing studies on the affects of alcohol on the liver. i'd expect that that means free booze. or you could take the fnz path and have fun with forklifts.
why is my moral compass always pointed east? that's the direction of the nearest liquor store.

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Steve
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by Steve » Mon Feb 14, 2011 5:40 am

greygoose wrote:you can't really expect a reasonable response without telling us what you skills are, no? other than that, you could search for universities doing studies on the affects of alcohol on the liver. i'd expect that that means free booze. or you could take the fnz path and have fun with forklifts.
Does writing sarcastic blogs count as a skill?

But seriously, my previous jobs have all been in accounts/ office admin, but with no formal qualifications or certificates. I have about ten years job experience, but skills? The last five or sx companies I did accounts for went bankrupt. So the word "skill" is stretching it a bit! I could give great advice on what NOT to do in business matters, because I've seen so many fail.

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waahoohah
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by waahoohah » Mon Feb 14, 2011 8:39 am

FNZ wrote:I tells you: warehouse job. Especially if you are able to entertain yourself mentally. You don't have to think much, you can be as hung over, relatively, as people will just assume that you are "slow" or might not care if you are hungover. And, it's pretty universal once you have it on your resume, not that it's glamorous.

I like being stuck in the warehouse when they pull me off of sales. Hauling around 80 pound mufflers up and down stairs isn't easy, but it is as the same time.
This. Listen to him, he speaks truth. I'm hungover, at work, hiding in a corner of our warehouse while I type this, and nobody cares.
Oh, that? Yeah, I did that, it's my fault. I'm sorry.

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BenTheBeast
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by BenTheBeast » Sat Feb 19, 2011 10:19 pm

Contract killing is a business always in need of new recruits...Relieve stress and waste people at the same time, it's a perfect combination.
Logic goes out the window when large sums of money are involved.

Everyone knows what the problems are, but fixing them would be a giant pain in the ass.

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Steve
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Re: Employment advice?

Post by Steve » Sun Feb 20, 2011 4:50 am

BenTheBeast wrote:Contract killing is a business always in need of new recruits...Relieve stress and waste people at the same time, it's a perfect combination.
If I get to pick the victims, I'm sold on this one!

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Re: Employment advice?

Post by bluebottle » Fri Feb 25, 2011 7:54 am

grippingthewheel wrote:Dig ditches. Clean pools. Deliver high-end pizza i.e. flat-bread goat cheese & cocaine pies. Chicks think it's hot.

Avoid leaf-blowing and lawn-mowing and selling oranges near on-ramps. Not so hot.Watch porn for additional occupational advice.

Good luck.
what, you shoot my idea down from the get go? i still have a full orange tree in my back yard. i'm gonna do that. but on the employment advice, i would say hang around home depot and get hunert bucks a day for labor. apparently, you can speak ingles, which is a plus. mota, anyone?

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