Some of these are amusing, true and odd. It's all in the perception I guess.
http://travel.yahoo.com/blogs/compass/d ... 49993.html
Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
- Frankennietzsche
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 12348
- Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:13 pm
- Location: Master of the Meatloaf Winds
- Contact:
Re: Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
Ingrateful ferners!
It mades me think of this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/20/opini ... .html?_r=0
It mades me think of this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/20/opini ... .html?_r=0
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
-
- Moderator
- Posts: 9790
- Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2003 7:29 pm
- Location: In The Liquor Cabinet
Re: Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
And never put a tick in the box marked, "Do you plan to overthrow the legal government of the United States?" on the landing card (unless you have a really good Army hidden about your person).
Also, when the Customs Officer asks you if you want a receipt for the Cuban cigars that he has just confiscated, answer in the negative unless you enjoy "full cavity searches".
Finally, for some reason, wearing a Kilt, when going through security, even when the metal-detectors blare, seems to get you a free pass (N.B. This last sentence is not to be read by terrorists or people who have ticked the box marked, "Do you plan to overthrow the legal government of the United States?" on the landing card).
Further advice may follow from this seasoned visitor to the US, as and when I remember them (free drinks on transatlantic flights may be considered proof of the existence of your deity/pantheon of choice).
Also, when the Customs Officer asks you if you want a receipt for the Cuban cigars that he has just confiscated, answer in the negative unless you enjoy "full cavity searches".
Finally, for some reason, wearing a Kilt, when going through security, even when the metal-detectors blare, seems to get you a free pass (N.B. This last sentence is not to be read by terrorists or people who have ticked the box marked, "Do you plan to overthrow the legal government of the United States?" on the landing card).
Further advice may follow from this seasoned visitor to the US, as and when I remember them (free drinks on transatlantic flights may be considered proof of the existence of your deity/pantheon of choice).
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
- Frankennietzsche
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 12348
- Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:13 pm
- Location: Master of the Meatloaf Winds
- Contact:
Re: Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
This is not necessarily true. It really depends on what demographic that one visits. Someone inform the Japanese that they may be visiting the wrong Americans. I blame the protestants, specifically the Southern Baptists, Methodists and the WASP-y types, in general, plus the LDS, the self-improvement gurus, the various Dr. Phils, the "addiction" specialists and the nervous-nelly and the nanny-types (which would be a good name for a band), and mostly, the Quaker tradition on which this land was founded. Also, George W Bush.Nobody is impressed by how much you can drink.“In the U.S., they do not have a sense of pride if they drink a large amount. Rather, if you drink a lot, there is a sense that you cannot manage yourself, and you can lose respect from those around you. Being drunk doesn't excuse your actions, and to drink alcohol habitually is a sign of alcoholism. Alcoholics are seen as mentally weak, and are ostracized by society due to their inability to have self control."
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
Re: Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
My all time favorite is still the Westboro Baptist Church. Never cease to amaze me
Drink!
- Frankennietzsche
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 12348
- Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:13 pm
- Location: Master of the Meatloaf Winds
- Contact:
Re: Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
The Westboro "church" is really just an extended family cult. Almost all of the members are either related by blood or marriage. It is actually quite amazing how much noise that they make with how many members that they have.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
- mistah willies
- Drinking Like W.C.
- Posts: 6747
- Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:48 pm
- Location: A ship upon the vast ocean of the Mighty MDM
- Contact:
Re: Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
Just helping clarify a bit?frankennietzsche wrote:The Westboro "church" is really just an extended family cult. Almost all of the members are either related by blood and/or marriage. It is actually quite amazing how much noise that they make with how many members that they have.
Re: Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
Just google it. I totally got what he wanted to point out. These people are so much over the top that it really is more comedy than anything else, that`s why I mentioned them. For funs sake, they should not be taken seriously in only the smallest ways. There`s this guy, Louis Theroux, who does all these strange documentarys where he visits brothels, amish people, "killadelphia"-ghettos and so on. The episode with these people will crack you up.mistah willies wrote:Just helping clarify a bit?frankennietzsche wrote:The Westboro "church" is really just an extended family cult. Almost all of the members are either related by blood and/or marriage. It is actually quite amazing how much noise that they make with how many members that they have.
Drink!
- Frankennietzsche
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 12348
- Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:13 pm
- Location: Master of the Meatloaf Winds
- Contact:
Re: Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
Related, cross-forum link or interest.oettinger wrote:Just google it. I totally got what he wanted to point out. These people are so much over the top that it really is more comedy than anything else, that`s why I mentioned them. For funs sake, they should not be taken seriously in only the smallest ways. There`s this guy, Louis Theroux, who does all these strange documentarys where he visits brothels, amish people, "killadelphia"-ghettos and so on. The episode with these people will crack you up.mistah willies wrote:Just helping clarify a bit?frankennietzsche wrote:The Westboro "church" is really just an extended family cult. Almost all of the members are either related by blood and/or marriage. It is actually quite amazing how much noise that they make with how many members that they have.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
- mistah willies
- Drinking Like W.C.
- Posts: 6747
- Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:48 pm
- Location: A ship upon the vast ocean of the Mighty MDM
- Contact:
Re: Travel Tips about visiting the U.S.
To paraphrase Bur, "Your Americans are broken."frankennietzsche wrote:This is not necessarily true. It really depends on what demographic that one visits. Someone inform the Japanese that they may be visiting the wrong Americans.Nobody is impressed by how much you can drink.“In the U.S., they do not have a sense of pride if they drink a large amount..."