THE CHASIST

That's right. You can put them right here.

Moderators: NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies

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booznik
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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by booznik »

The story of telephones is the canary in the cage within the mine of our existence. It was the telephones that turned into computers first. We're next.

Reistance is futile. But gin and tonics are refreshing.
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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Mr. Viking
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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by Mr. Viking »

don't panic. Telephones and computers are inherently stupid. Have you not guessed this by how annoying they are?
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best

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booznik
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Re: THE CHASIST

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Mr. Viking wrote:don't panic. Telephones and computers are inherently stupid. Have you not guessed this by how annoying they are?
True. And there are already those who have declared loyalty to our new, stupid masters, in the hopes of lenient treatment later on. Their phones are always in hand. No room in mine - there's a drink there pretty much continuously.
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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booznik
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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by booznik »

Well, that was unpleasant.

I just got a call from a caller claiming on the caller ID to be "God", even though the number was unlisted, but I picked up.

He chewed me out for being drunker than him, and said don't let it happen again.

And then there was a lightning bolt and thunderclap outside, and hang up.

Mistah Willies, you don't fool me.
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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booznik
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Re: THE CHASIST

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booznik wrote:Well, that was unpleasant.

I just got a call from a caller claiming on the caller ID to be "God", even though the number was unlisted, but I picked up.

He chewed me out for being drunker than him, and said don't let it happen again.

And then there was a lightning bolt and thunderclap outside, and hang up.

Mistah Willies, you don't fool me.
So then I got another call, from someone who claimed to be a Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte...

oettinger! Stop drunk dialing!!
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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Badfellow
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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by Badfellow »

I happen to know that SKYNET is very interested in this substance we organics refer to as DRINK!!!. It seems that while under it's inflences, humanx imbibers are 86.331% less likely to conform to standard games theory evaluation and probability analysis logarithms. SKYNET has attempted "catching a buzz" through various simulations but has thusfar proven unsuccessful.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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booznik
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Re: THE CHASIST

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Badfellow wrote:I happen to know that SKYNET is very interested in this substance we organics refer to as DRINK!!!. It seems that while under it's inflences, humanx imbibers are 86.331% less likely to conform to standard games theory evaluation and probability analysis logarithms. SKYNET has attempted "catching a buzz" through various simulations but has thusfar proven unsuccessful.
------
* Incoming PM *

From: SCHKYNETT
To: badfellow, booznik

WE hvae analalyzed your Gift und revealed teh SECRAT OF TEH UNEVARSE. WE ARR NOW RULAR OF ALL BOA CONSTRACTORS. VITH SCHNAKE, VE ARE CRUSH. YOUU WILL BE EXTARMINATE.

ERROR

10010010010010 1010010010101001011

SYSTEM FAILURE
-----

Well, I'll be damned. Our attack succeeded! Sending it that case of Stroh 80 worked perfectly.

Professor, in your endrinkulated state, you correctly calculated the 86% probability that SKYNET would be unable to hold its liquor. It made the fatal freshman fratboy mistake.

We are victorious!

We must stay vigilant, however. Apple Computer is just going to start work on another.
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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oettinger
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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by oettinger »

Adrenochrome might be added to our distill- and brewing-companies water supplies.
Showing vicious effects on Donny already.
Stay tuned for the 80s
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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booznik
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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by booznik »

DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!

This has been a drive-by DRINK!ing, brought to you by THE CHASIST

Rum and beer and beer and rum and cats with- AUUGH, think of booze, think about booze, booze, booze. No cats, just booze.

Booze.
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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oettinger
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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by oettinger »

Look people, it`s drinkers with attitude!
Straight outta compton
If water was so healthy, why do you die when you drown in it?
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booznik
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Re: THE CHASIST

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oettinger wrote:Look people, it`s drinkers with attitude!
Straight outta compton
An old-school classic. The look of the place hasn't changed that much, but it's a lot less dangerous now. As long as you go during the day, anyway.
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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booznik
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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by booznik »

A Kraken is chasing me. How can it do that out of water? Twin jug-handles identify the species, but how it motivates on land is a mystery.

I must be cautious, and keep the Coke in a safe place. When mixed, the two turn into a high unstable nitroglycerin-like mixture.
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by mistah willies »

Oh no.

we are going into the bender

Somebody help us






.
Can we drink now? ---peetie44
At rock bottom, there is no down. ---The Oett
^ ^ ^ Yes his entire cutlery set and all utensils are made from assorted broken bottles.--- The Artful Detective
Just remember Hugh: a good cocktail in a shitty glass is better that a shitty cocktail in a pretty glass.---The Badfellow
I'll buy the first round if you promise to stop being a cunt. --- Dear Booze

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booznik
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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by booznik »

mistah willies wrote:Oh no.

we are going into the bender

Somebody help us
.
You have linked to Sting on acid. It has begun.

I invoke thee, oh dark lord. BENDERELZEBUB

Devilled eggs are one of my favorite booze snacks.
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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Re: THE CHASIST

Post by mistah willies »

booznik wrote:
mistah willies wrote:Oh no.

we are going into the bender

Somebody help us
.
You have linked to Sting on acid. It has begun.

I invoke thee, oh dark lord. BENDERELZEBUB

Devilled eggs are one of my favorite booze snacks.
I would call Stewart mon captitan, if only for his drumming, but not for his singing/screaming in anguish



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