Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

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oldsmartskunk
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Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by oldsmartskunk » Mon Jan 09, 2017 4:14 am

I had quite an interesting thought - some of us are quite young and single. Some are even extremely sexy (oettinger comes to mind). How does drinking lifestyle affects relationship/human interactions? How do you date? Who do you date? Is there rule of thumb in drunk dating?(for male members - avoid adam's apple on female look alike) Any input could be really... Entertaining!

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Badfellow » Mon Jan 09, 2017 2:36 pm

Well, my perverse Lithuanian friend, since you have cast a number of nets to the sea without offering any of your own pearls of wisdom, I suppose we'll have to do with some of my chum.

* First of all, lower your standards. Yeah, like you're some sort of David Hasselhoff yourself. You can't spell home without homely, and that's exactly where you'll be taking her if you play your cards right.

* Try to remeber how you picked up the last trashy broad so you can use your loser tactics on the next one.

* As a general rule, the amber liquors make your prospective date look more alluring, but are also prone to contribute to acute flacid love missle and other stupor related conditions.

* Bible chicks are NOT cool, bro.

* Practice all your slick moves and pick-up lines on dad's new girlfriend after he passes out. This one's a cocktail waitress!
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by oldsmartskunk » Mon Jan 09, 2017 3:48 pm

All my pointers came from real life. Trial and error. And being an asshole! I said and did all that crap at some point in my life!
* Never hit on your date's younger sister. (it was worth it)
* Never hit on your friends younger sister ( i would do it again and i did it again during his wedding)
* If by a slim chance your date's father is a long distance truck driver DON'T hit her with a truth ( your daddy probably knows all hookers throughout the Europe/he likely has hemorrhoids so huge Japanese people mistake it for godzilla and start running)
* Slapping a woman with a whiskey dick is not a turn on. However, brushing it gently against her lips is ( she was a psycho)
* Beer is not a good lubricant (you will end up running with your pants down while being chased by a woman whose name you can't remember)
* Don't tell daddy jokes (my favorites are "you father is a vampire hunter armed with wooden dildos" or "your father usually wakes family up by frying some eggs - putting his testicles on a hot frying pan then running around naked and screaming)
Some of these offended random women across my path of destruction and self loathing, others pissed of girls i was dating.
* Bible chicks are cool. Crack that one open and you will get yourself a treat of your life. Especially those crazy jehova's witnesses.

And how the hell am i perverse? I haven't met a single human being who is more pure than me!

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Frankennietzsche » Mon Jan 09, 2017 6:45 pm

oldsmartskunk wrote:
Mon Jan 09, 2017 4:14 am
- avoid adam's apple on female look alike)
My friend RIPT says that, for him, that is a good sign.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Frankennietzsche » Mon Jan 09, 2017 6:46 pm

Any input could be really... Entertaining!
THA'S WHAT SHE SAID!
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Frankennietzsche » Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:22 pm

You got to watch out for the old 180 degree spin on drinking every night. I've had it happen. You meet them in a bar, you see them every time in a bar, and then, after a while they start with the "You go out drinking too much."
I don't know how you can predict it, though.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by mistah willies » Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:26 pm

Frankennietzsche wrote:
Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:22 pm
You got to watch out for the old 180 degree spin on drinking every night. I've had it happen. You meet them in a bar, you see them every time in a bar, and then, after a while they start with the "You go out drinking too much."
I don't know how you can predict it, though.
Give her a wink and say, "Huh, looks like we keep the same schedule. What are you having?"

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by oettinger » Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:25 am

oldsmartskunk wrote:
Mon Jan 09, 2017 4:14 am
(oettinger comes to mind).
Thanks!

Five bucks we said, right?
I do not remember posting that ^^^
Image

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by oldsmartskunk » Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:32 am

oettinger wrote:
Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:25 am
oldsmartskunk wrote:
Mon Jan 09, 2017 4:14 am
(oettinger comes to mind).
Thanks!

Five bucks we said, right?
You don't owe me anything. When you were asleep you paid it in full... Eh, good times :D

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Patchez » Sat Jan 14, 2017 2:52 am

Remember this easy to use and 100% effective pick up line. "Does this rag smell like Chloroform?"
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Frankennietzsche » Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:22 am

Patchez wrote:
Sat Jan 14, 2017 2:52 am
Remember this easy to use and 100% effective pick up line. "Does this rag smell like Chloroform?"
"Ooh, that smell always reminds me of my dad."
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by MeanOldLady » Mon Jan 16, 2017 7:19 pm

dating is overrated. instead, take up hobbies that encourage drinking, like bowling or knitting.
"Vodka is the Harry Potter of Booze, fun at first but ultimately unsatisfying and made for children." -The Lush

"If you can't trust the inner monkey, who can you trust?" -F. Sott Blitzedgerald

"this thread should be called WEAK drunk pics. more people should be bloody and passed out" -old crow

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by mistah willies » Tue Jan 17, 2017 8:03 pm

MeanOldLady wrote:
Mon Jan 16, 2017 7:19 pm
dating is overrated. instead, take up hobbies that encourage drinking, like bowling or knitting.
Will you knit me a bowling ball? I can barely hold a glass what with the shakes.

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by MeanOldLady » Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:09 pm

i will! but don't blame me if your bowling score suffers.

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by mistah willies » Fri Jan 20, 2017 7:00 pm

MeanOldLady wrote:
Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:09 pm
i will! but don't blame me if your bowling score suffers.

Thank you, and it would give this here bastard a proper excuse for my already low scores in them lanes. It's in the negatives, due to strikes on nearby lanes, and the missing teeth/eyes of those formerly on my team, sitting and chatting and drinking behind me, etc etc.

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